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1、一步一个脚印攻克托福写作 很多刚入门的同学都迷茫托福写作应该怎么开始练，下面就和大家分享一步一个脚印攻克托福写作，希望能够帮助到大家，来欣赏一下吧。一步一个脚印攻克托福写作TOEFL写作考试形式托福写作考试分为两个部分：1. 综合写作(Integrated Writing)：阅读一段230-300 words的文段，要求3mins内完成，然后听一段230-300 words 的听力。完成后，给20 mins写一篇200-300 words的*，要求阐述阅读、听力内容以及两者之间的关系。2. 独立写作(Independent Writing)：给30 mins 要求完成一篇300 words以上
2、的*。题目为特定题库。TOEFL写作考试要求笔者结合多年教学经验、官方要求、以及数千篇*批改经验，总结罗列出托福写作考试的得分要点如下：1. 有效地应答任务;2. 语言使用熟练，无过多语法、拼写和标点使用错误;3. 组织结构好，展开话题完善;4. 使用解释，举例等论证方法;5. 有效地进行文字处理，整合与递进;6. 语法具有多样性;7. 用词合理并且地道。上述7点能做到1,2的同学，写作基本达标，可以拿到一个15-20分的成绩;上述7点能做到1,2,3,4,5的同学，写作水平较好，可以获得21-25分的成绩;上述7点全部做到的同学，可以或得26分以上直至满分的分数。TOEFL作文修改实战下面一
3、段文字是我的学生在TOEFL独立写作的一个自然段。在这里给大家逐句从基础语法方面分析一下，主要解决写作要求中的第1,2两个点。这篇习作的题目是：People are now easier to become educated than in the past.First, people in now would have a better education because there are more teachers than the past.This can largely decide how students be educated.For example, in the past
4、, it is common that one teacher teach many subjects like math, Chinese, English and so on.Now however, in one school there are many teachers who teach one subject.In this way, it can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part.Think about it, if a teacher teaches 8 classes, and
5、 he has to correct the homework every day, how well he can perform when he works on the last part of homework.In contrast if the teacher only need to correct homework from 2 classes, how well can he do?There are still many examples for this.From the example, we can clearly see that how can the numbe
6、r of teachers decide the quality of education.逐句修改：“now”前面是不用介词进行修饰的，因此需要去掉“in”.同时原因状语从句中的“than”比较双方也是不对称的。这里有2种改动方法，其一将比较对称，其二进行逻辑变换。所以，单纯从语法角度讲，笔者认为改成下面的表述会更好一些。First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past.第二句中的“be”不符合从句语法规则，应改成are。同时，这个决定作者更倾向于描述教育的
7、优劣，而非方式，所以仔细分析，其实原文并没有表述清楚。因此，第二句表述为：This can largely decide how well students are educated.“in the past”与“is”矛盾，需要修改。另外，“in the past”的位置也是值得商榷的。同时“teach”的语法还有争议，建议使用“would”，可避免麻烦。另，笔者在美国的老师经常告诉笔者，英美人士不经常在essay中使用and so on等口语用词。综上，第三句改为：For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many su
8、bjects like math, Chinese and English in the past.本句错误有两个，其一是词语在句子中的位置不符合英文造句法，这是最严重的，而且也是第句中出现的问题。另外，用词重复上句的用词，应予调换。第五句的衔接方式如和两句，如能改变连接方式，句式则会体现变化性。综上，第四句和第五句改为：However, there are many teachers focusing on one subject, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part.显然，由
9、于第六句内容较多，学生没有控制住句子，致使第六句出现致命的多谓语现象。既然无法用复合句表达，就要果断的将句子断开。另外，就笔者经验而言，宾语从句中特殊疑问词的表述具有主观情绪，建议变换成客观描述性语句。综上，第六句拆解为：A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected.仍然是句式变话的问题。其二，介词短语后面的标点也要注意，尽管不
10、是必须的。笔者调整为:In contrast, if the teacher only needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students homework.无误。介词短语可以添加“above”。宾语从句后面应为陈述句式。笔者调整为: From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.修改后的
11、*呈现为：First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past. This can largely decide how well students are educated. For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many subjects like math, Chinese and English in the past. However, there are many teacher
12、s focusing on one subject now, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part. A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected. In contrast, if the teacher only
13、needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students homework. There are still many examples for this. From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.尽管经修改后这个段落尚有很多不足之处，例子的选取、词语的选择、连贯性等方面还有待改善，但我认
14、为这样的*拿到20分是没有问题的。希望大家首先朝这个水平努力，按照7点要求，一个点一个点的训练，那么写作30分就不是问题。托福写作高分之VisionHuman vision like that of other primates has evolved in an arboreal environment. In the dense complex world of a tropical forest, it is more important to see well that to develop an acute sense of smell. In the course of evolu
15、tion members of the primate line have acquired large eyes while the snout has shrunk to give the eye an unimpeded view. Of mammals only humans and some primates enjoy color vision. The red flag is black to the bull. Horses live in a monochrome world .light visible to human eyes however occupies only
16、 a very narrow band in the whole electromagnetic spectrum. Ultraviolet rays are invisible to humans though ants and honeybees are sensitive to them. Humans though ants and honeybees are sensitive to them. Humans have no direct perception of infrared rays unlike the rattlesnake which has receptors tu
17、ned into wavelengths longer than 0.7 micron. The world would look eerily different if human eyes were sensitive to infrared radiation. Then instead of the darkness of night, we would be able to move easily in a strange shadowless world where objects glowed with varying degrees of intensity. But huma
18、n eyes excel in other ways. They are in fact remarkably discerning in color gradation. The color sensitivity of normal human vision is rarely surpassed even by sophisticated technical devices.托福写作要避免的开头方式一：废话连篇不知所云(喷血指数：)典型失败案例： Topic 1-Should college students be allowed to get married?This topic is
19、 very interesting. Im very interested in talking about this topic. Because Im also a college student and Im not married修改方案：开门见山 直奔主题In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married.Topic 2-Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or
20、the writing word as the sole source of information?Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in ou
21、r daily life.Topic 3-The importance of environmental protectionOh, this topic is surely very important. Isnt it? Of course! Its really very very important!二：中式英文 人见人晕(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic 1-The happiest moment in your lifeIn our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened a
22、ngrilyTopic 2- The population problemThe population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there.Topic3- Is there fairness in todays business world?I think in todays society, there is no fairness in the business world
23、. For example, I always chopped when I go out buy thingsTopic 4- The advantage of being a nice personBeing a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a people always do bad things, he will get “baoying”.三：观点模糊 态度暧昧(喷血指数：)典型失败案例： Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?I think th
24、is topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little, only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me四：偏离主题 无轨电车(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic-It is said that nowadays one can not acquire the qualifications and quality essential to success through university education. To what extent d
25、o you agree or disagree with the statement?I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To have these important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English, music tools, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in a
26、ll, we can learn from many places.五：语法错误 惨不忍睹(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic-If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished?About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parents responsibility. So we also p
27、unish parents too besides children is also should.六：过分简单 没有重点(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic-The importance of environmental protectionThis issue is surely very important, lets talk about it!七：用词不当 表达不准 (喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?I think college students should not be
28、allowed to get married because they are very young and so we cant take the responsibility to form a family.八：意思重复 原地踏步(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic-Your opinion on DINK familiesMy opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society an
29、d it is even sometimes harmful to our society.九：中国俗语 胡乱翻译(喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic 1-Is it good to have a large family?I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”正确说法：Happiness lies in having many childrenTopic 2 -Should we pretend to know ever
30、ything or admit our ignorance?We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, dont know is dont know”Topic 3- Do you think ones character is greatly influenced by his/her family?Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rats son can make h
31、oleTopic 4- The advantage of being a nice personI believe one sentence:“A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.十： 观点武断 态度强硬 (喷血指数：)典型失败案例：Topic1-The importance of confidenceIn my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person
32、. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who dont have confidence, they all have failed.Topic 2 - The solution to the traffic problemI think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who dont obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, Im sure there will be no traffic problem any more.一步一个脚印攻克托福写作
