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1、Unit3MorethanWordsCommunication without Words1 When you learn a foreign language you must learn more than just the vocabulary and the grammar. To communicate successfully in speech, you must also learn the nonverbal language, or body language, of that culture. Body language is a term used to describ
2、e facial expressions, gestures, and other movements of the body that send messages. This means of communication is so important that we may actually say more with our movements than we do with words. 2 Speaking a foreign language is sometimes difficult because we may not understand the nonverbal sig
3、nals of another culture, or they may mean something very different from what they mean in our own culture. For example, nodding the head up and down is a gesture that communicates a different message in different parts of the world. In North America, it means I agree. In the Middle East, nodding the
4、 head down means I agree and up means I disagree. In a conversation among Japanese, it often simply means I am listening. One Japanese student in the United States learned the difference the hard way. While speaking with a salesman, the student nodded his head politely to show that he was paying att
5、ention. The next day the salesman brought a new washing machine to the students apartment. 3 Eye contact is also very meaningful, but it, too, can mean different things in different countries. In some Spanish-speaking countries, children show respect to an older person by not looking directly into t
6、he persons eyes during a conversation. In other countries, looking into a persons eyes is expected. For example, if you dont do it in the United States, people may think that you are afraid, embarrassed, or angry. 4 In many places in the world there are two basic gestures that are used to tell someo
7、ne to come closer. In Asia, the sign is a wave of the hand while curling the fingers downward, the same way some North Americans wave good-bye to children. North Americans make almost the same gesture to tell someone to come closer, but they curl their fingers upward. Visitors to other countries mus
8、t be aware of the difference or they may send the wrong message. 5 Although we rarely think about it, the distance that we stand from someone during a conversation is also an important part of communication. Generally, North Americans prefer more space than do Latin Americans and people from the Mid
9、dle East. At an international meeting a pair of diplomats may move slowly across a room as one of them tries to increase the personal conversation distance and the other tries to decrease it. The person who prefers more distance usually loses the fight when he finds himself with his back against the
10、 wall. 6 Although we spend many years learning how to speak a foreign language, misunderstandings can occur unless we also know the nonverbal language and the correct behavior of that culture. We are not really prepared to communicate in a foreign language unless we know whether to shake hands or bo
11、w, when to sit and stand, and how to behave in unfamiliar situations. Perhaps a fifth skill ought to be added to the four traditional communication skills of reading, writing, speaking, and listening: cultural awareness. 没有言语的交流1 当你学一门外语的时候，你一定要学词汇和语法，但这些还远远不够。要想成功地进行交流，你还 必须学习该文化的非言语语言，或者说“身势语” 。身势
12、语是一个术语，是我们用来描述那些可以传递信 息的脸部表情，手势以及其他身体动作的术语。这种交流方式非常重要，实际上我们用动作表达的信息 可以比用言语表达的信息更多。 2 有时候我们发现说一门外语很困难，因为我们可能不了解另一种文化的非言语信号，或者说那些信 号在我们自己文化中的含义可能迥然不同。例如，在世界上不同的地方，上下点头的动作就传递不同的 信息。在北美，该动作表示“我同意” 。在中东地区，向下点头表示“我同意” 而向上抬头表示“我不 ， 同意” 。日本人 说话的时候这个动作通常只是表示“我在听着呢” 。一位在美国的日本学生好不容易才了 解了其中的差别。在和一位推销员说话的时候，这位学生
13、礼貌性地点头，表示我在听着。结果第二天那 位推销员就将一台崭新的洗衣机送到了他的公寓。 3 目光接触所表达的含义也很丰富，但是，在不同的国家里，它表达的意思不同。在一些讲西班牙语 的国家，孩子在与年长者谈话时，不直视对方的眼睛，以表示尊重。而在其他国家，别人则期待你看着 他的眼睛。例如，如果你在美国不这么做的话，人们会以为你害怕，尴尬或者是生气了。 4 世界上很多地方都用两中基本的手势来招呼别人朝自己走过来。 在亚洲， 人们把手指朝下微曲起来， 做摆手的动作，而有些北美人则用这个动作向孩子们道别。北美人用大致相同的手势招呼别人走过来， 但是他们的手指是向下弯曲的。因此，去国外访问的人必须了解这
14、些差别，否则也许会表达错误的信息。 5 我们在谈话是与对方保持的距离同样也是交流过程中的一个重要方面，但是我们很少想到这一点。 通常，北美人比拉丁美洲人和中东人更喜欢彼此间距离大一点。在一个国际会议上可能会出现这样的情 景：谈话时两个外交官慢慢地从房间的这一头移到那一头，其中一个想竭力拉大彼此间的距离，而另一 个则想竭力缩小这一距离。通常，喜欢距离大的那个人一直退到背靠墙，无路可退为止，他的努力也以 失败告终。 6 尽管我们花了很多年时间来学习一门外语，如果我们不了解那个文化的非言语语言和正确的举止的 话，就会产生误解。如果我们不知道应该握手还是鞠躬，什么时候坐着，什么时候站着，在不熟悉的场
15、合应该有什么样的举止，那么我们就没有真正具备用外语交流的能力。或许在读，写，说，听四项传统 的交流技能之外还应该加上第五项技能：文化意识。 Learn How to Listen 1 Bad listening habits can hurt you a lot in your daily life. Much of your success, both in your work and social life, is related to how you listen. A number of major industries and more than twenty leading col
16、leges have become very concerned about our bad listening habits. They have set up listening clinics and courses to find out what is wrongand what to do about it! 2 My own experience as a teacher in one of these clinics has taught me that many people who seem to be listening miss important points. Th
17、erefore, they draw wrong conclusions from what is said. That is a serious problem when you consider our attitudes toward other people and success on the job. 3 What are the faulty hearing habits that hurt us in so many ways? Here are some of the more common ones Ive observed in a close study of my m
18、any clinic students. 4 Our minds wont wait. Our thoughts can race along from four to ten times faster than most people speak. So while we are waiting to hear someones words, our thoughts tend to wander. And sometimes they remain away too long. 5 We think we know already. Were so sure we know what th
19、e speaker is going to say that we listen with just half an ear. 6 Were looking, not listening. How often in introductions has a name failed to stick because your mind was on the way someone looked or acted? For the same reason, and far more often than you may think, other information fails to come t
20、hrough. 7 We are busy listeners. We try to listen while giving part of our attention to a newspaper, or a radio or TV program. Outside noises also bid for a share of our attention. No wonder we dont really hear. 8 These are some of the common listening faults. Fortunately, with little effort, you ca
21、n correct any of them. I suggest these three ways to help make you a better listener. 9 Learn to concentrate. Its an important part of listening. Practice such games as Take 2, plus 3, minus 5, plus 4, times 2, minus 6whats the answer? Similar exercises are used in listening-training courses. 10 Cut
22、 out distractions. Resolve to put aside the newspaper and stop half-listening to a radio or TV program when someone is trying to talk to you. 11 Repeat instructions. Practice repeating instructions and directions correctly. Unless you can do so, you obviously will not be able to carry them out prope
23、rly. 12 Good listening isnt easy. Hearing, understanding, and remembering take a great deal of energy. It is hard to listen properly and do anything else at the same time. But good listening pays off. 13 If you recognize and correct any listening faults that may be hurting you, good things may happe
24、n. You may listen your way to closer friendships and better relations with your family. You may also get larger paychecks and be more successful in life. 学会任何聆听1 在日常生活中，不良的听话习惯会给你造成很大的损害。不论是在工作中还是在社会生活中，你的成 功在很大的程度上与你如何听人说话有关。许多大企业和二十多所重点大学都非常关注我们的不良听话 习惯。为了找出问题的所在，解决这类问题，我们开设了“听话培训班”以及各类课程。 2 我给其中的
25、一个培训班上课，我的教学经验告诉我，许多人看似在听，却并没有听到要点。因此， 他们从别人的话中得出错误的结论。当我们考虑该对别人持什么样的态度，以及如何使工作成功时，这 是很严肃的问题。 3 那些在许多方面给我们损害的不良听话习惯到底是什么呢？在对培训班上的许多学员进行深入研究 时，我观察到一些很常见的不良听话习惯，下面列举几种。 4 我们没有心思等待。我们思维的速度大比多数人说话速度快四到十倍。因此，当我们等待别人说话 的时候，往往会走神。有时候，走神的时间挺长。 5 自认为已经知道了。我们很自信地以为知道别人想说些什么，以至于不去全神贯注地听。 6 我们是在看而不是在听。相互介绍时有多少次
26、是由于你在注意对方的长相和动作而没能记住他的名字？由于同样的原因，其他的信息也没有听进去，而这种情况比你可能会意识到的要普遍得多。 7 我们是忙碌的听众。我们会一边听人讲话，一边将部分注意力分散在报纸，电台或电视节目上。外界 的噪音也会分散我们的一部分注意力。所以我们没有真正在“听”也就不足为奇了。 8 以上是一些常见的听话时会有的毛病。幸运的是，只要稍加努力都可以纠正。我们提出三种方法来 帮助你成为更好的听众。 9 学会集中注意力。这是听别人说话的一个重要部分。试着玩玩这种游戏：二加三减五加四乘二减六等于几？类似的练习被用在听力训练课程中。 10 减少分散注意的事物。 当别人要和你说话时，
27、决意把报纸放在一边， 也不同时听电台或看电视节目。 11 复述指令。练习复述指令或指示，要正确无误。如果做不到，你显然就无法正确执行这些指令。 12 养成良好的听话习惯并非易事。听到，理解然后牢记信息需要很多精力。要听得准确，同时有要做 其他事情是非常困难的。当良好的听话习惯会让你收益。 13 如果你认识到那些会给你造成损害的毛病并能加以改正， 好运就会到来。 倾听他人说话会使你获得 更亲密的友情，更融洽的家庭关系。你还可能会得到更高的收入和更成功的生活。 How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere1 The ability to talk well is
28、 one of the greatest pleasures in life and can bring with it some of lifes greatest rewards. It is not always easy. But the more you work at it, the easier it will become. There are six basic things to keep in mind if you wish to be able to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere. 2 First of all, you dont
29、 have to be quotable. Most of the time, people are not expecting deep words of wisdom from you. They will not be waiting to record what you say. Therefore, just open your mouth and start talking. Hopefully it will be interesting enough for people to listen. 3 Secondly, the right attitudethe will to
30、talkis essential to becoming a better talker. Try to be enthusiastic about talking with people. They will respond positively to your enthusiasm and you will find that you really do become enthusiastic. On the other hand, it is easy for others to notice if you have no enthusiasm for talking with them
31、, and they, in turn, will respond negatively. 4 A third point to remember is that you should take turns. Careful listening makes you a better talker. Also good follow-up questions are the mark of a good conversationalist. One way everyone learns is by listening. The more you learn, the better prepar
32、ed you are to be a good conversationalist. 5 A fourth essential point is that you should try to broaden your horizons. The best conversationalists are able to talk about issues and experiences beyond their daily lives. You can expand your world through travel, but you can also do it without leaving
33、your own home. Of course, you can learn from reading. However, an essential thing to remember is that people with backgrounds different from your own can broaden your conversational material and your thinking. 6 A fifth point to remember is that you should not keep your conversation too serious for
34、too long. A sense of humor is helpful and you can lighten a conversation by sometimes telling a joke about yourself. 7 Last, you should be genuine when in conversation with others. You should be as open and honest with your conversation partners as you would want them to be with you. You should be w
35、illing to reveal what your background is and what your likes and dislikes are. That is an essential part of the give-and-take of conversation, part of getting to know people, and their getting to know you. Just be honest about yourself, and you wont go wrong. 8 Whether youre talking to one person or
36、 many, the rules are the same. Its all about making a connection. Show empathy, enthusiasm and a willingness to listen, and you cant help becoming a master of talk. 如何同任何人、在任何时间、任何场合谈话1 善于交谈是生活中的一大乐趣，还能随之带来生活的最大回报。有时候这并不是件容易的事。但是， 你练习得越多，就越容易说得好。如果你希望能够和任何人，在任何时间和任何场合谈话，你需要牢记 六个要素。 2 首先，你无需说精辟的话让人引用
37、。大部分时间里，别人并不期待你说出隽语。他们也不等着把你 所说的话录下来。因此，你只要开口说话，只要你的话有趣，足以吸引听众。 3 第二，正确的态度-交谈的愿望-是成为一名能说会道者的根本。与人交谈是尽量热情些。别人 也会对你的热情做出积极的反应，而且你会发现自己的确也变得满腔热情。另一方面，如果你在和别人 交谈时缺乏热情，他们也很容易发现，从而做出消极的反应。 4 第三点要记住的是要轮流发言。仔细倾听会使你成为更好的发言者。随后提问提得好也是出色交谈 者的标志。倾听是每一个人学习的一种方式。听得越多，你为自己成为一名优秀的交谈者所做的准备就 越充分。 5 第四个要点是努力开阔眼界。最优秀的交
38、谈者能够谈论那些自己日常生活之外的议题和经历。你可 以通过旅游来拓宽自己的世界，但也可以足不出户就做到这一点。当然，你能通过阅读掌握知识。但是， 要记住的一个要点是，那些与你背景不同的人可以开阔你的谈话内容和思考范围。 6 第五点要记住的是，谈话不应过分严肃而且时间不应过长。幽默感很有用，有时讲个和自己有关的 小笑话也会使谈话轻松起来。 7 与人交谈要真诚。你应当对你的交谈对象坦率、诚实，正如你也希望他们这样对待你一样。你要乐 意告诉他们你的背景以及个人喜恶。那是谈话中相互理解、平等交换的一个重要方面，一个了解别人和 让别人了解自己的重要方面。对自己的情况要照实说，这样准没错。 8 无论你和一个人交谈，还是和许多人交谈，规则都是一样的，那就是建立联系。只要显示你的同情心、热情和倾听的愿望，你就一定会成为一名谈话大师。
