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1、故都的秋汉译英对比赏析,郁达夫原作,国金062班程琪魏缨璎,优秀报告点评：该实践报告特点有四：一是能以主题与主题倾向为理论依据，对两种译文选词择义的进行了有理据的分析和评说。突出了散文情景交融的文学性及其在英译中的艺术再现和艺术表现，两位同学紧紧抓住了翻译过程中译者应主观能动地表现作者的特定情感特质这一主线，使得评析中心突出。体现出刘勰所论的“情之经，理之纬”（文心雕龙-情采篇）的文学立本之源思想在翻译中的表现。二是有析、有论、有评，不少地方体现出两位同学自己的价值判断，对名家译文有赞有批，既肯定优点，也指出不足，且评析令人信服，问题概括得当。三是能综合两位名家长处，提出自己的改进译文，既体现
2、出理论思维，又落实到具体实践。四是报告PPT制作形式与内容相融合，给人赏心悦目之感。Scores:97,赏析取材,本文以郁达夫的故都的秋（Autumn in Peiping）一文的第一至第四段为例，并以张培基和王椒升的译文为蓝本（张培基的译文下称译文1，王椒升的译文下称译文2），通过对名家译作的对比赏析来探讨汉译英翻译作品的翻译技巧。,作者介绍,郁达夫(1896.12.71945.8.29)原名郁文，字达夫，浙江富阳人，中国现代著名小说家、散文家、诗人。郁达夫在文学创作上主张“文学作品，都是作家的自叙传”，因此，他常常把个人的生活经历作为小说和散文的创作的素材，在作品中毫不掩饰地勾勒出自己的思
3、想感情、个性和人生际遇。,故都的秋创作背景,从1921年9月至1933年3月,郁达夫曾用相当大的精力参加左翼文艺活动和进行创作.由于国民党白色恐怖的威胁等原因,郁达夫从1933年4月由上海迁居杭州,1936年2月离杭赴福州,在杭州居住了近三年.在这段时间里,他思想苦闷,创作枯竭,过的是一种闲散安逸的生活.在家吃点精制的菜,喝点芳醇的酒,睡睡午觉,看看闲书,不愿意将行动和平时有所移易;总之是懒得动.(引自郁达夫住所的话),故都的秋创作背景,在这二三年间,郁达夫的确花了很多时间到处游山玩水,在一定程度上也是为了排遣现实带给他的苦闷和离群索居的寂寞.在游山玩水的过程中,写了许多游记,这是他在这段时间
4、创作的主要收获,为我国现代游记的发展做出了不可磨灭的贡献.在杭州其间,郁达夫提倡静的文学,写的也多是静如止水似的遁世文学.1934年7月,郁达夫不远千里从杭州经青岛去北平,再次饱尝了故都的秋味,并写下了优美的散文故都的秋.,秋天，无论在什么地方的秋天，总是好的；可是啊，北国的秋，却特别地来得清，来得静，来得悲凉。,译文1：Autumn,wherever it is,always has something to recommend itself.In North China,however,it is particularly limpid,serene and melancholy.译文2：
5、Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is.But autumn in the North is especially clear,especially serene,especially pathetic in its coolness.,句子结构的完整性和协调性1较好,秋天，无论在什么地方的秋天，总是好的；可是啊，北国的秋，却特别地来得清，来得静，来得悲凉。,译文1：Autumn,wherever it is,always has something to recommend itself.In North China,however,i
6、t is particularly limpid,serene and melancholy.译文2：Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is.But autumn in the North is especially clear,especially serene,especially pathetic in its coolness.,秋天，无论在什么地方的秋天，总是好的；可是啊，北国的秋，却特别地来得清，来得静，来得悲凉。,译文1：Autumn,wherever it is,always has something to recomm
7、end itself.In North China,however,it is particularly limpid,serene and melancholy.译文2：Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is.But autumn in the North is especially clear,especially serene,especially pathetic in its coolness.,译文1的版本较好！,我的不远千里，要从杭州赶上青岛，更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由，也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”，这故都的秋味。,译文1：To
8、 enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the onetime capital,I have,therefore,made light of traveling a long distance form Hangzhou to Qingdao,and thence to Peiping.译文2：It was for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full,the taste of autumn in the old capital,that I went to the trouble of
9、journeying a thousand li,from Hangzhou to Qingdao,and thence to Beiping.,我的不远千里，要从杭州赶上青岛，更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由，也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”，这故都的秋味。,译文1：To enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the onetime capital,I have,therefore,made light of traveling a long distance form Hangzhou to Qingdao,and thence to Peiping.译文2：It wa
10、s for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full,the taste of autumn in the old capital,that I went to the trouble of journeying a thousand li,from Hangzhou to Qingdao,and thence to Beiping.,我的不远千里，要从杭州赶上青岛，更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由，也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”，这故都的秋味。,译文1：To enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the
11、 onetime capital,I have,therefore,made light of traveling a long distance form Hangzhou to Qingdao,and thence to Peiping.译文2：It was for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full,the taste of autumn in the old capital,that I went to the trouble of journeying a thousand li,from Hangzhou t
12、o Qingdao,and thence to Beiping.,江南，秋当然也是有的；但草木雕得慢，空气来得润，天的颜色显得淡，并且又时常多雨而少风；,译文1：There is of course autumn in the South too,but over there plants wither slowly,the air is moist,the sky pallid,and it is more often rainy than windy.译文2：There is autumn also south of the Yangtze,of course.But there the
13、grass and trees take more time to wither,the air is moist and the sky is pale.There is frequent rain and less wind.,柯林斯高级英语学习词典第五版If something is pale,it is very light in colour or almost white.You can describe something as pallid if it is weak or not at all exciting.,主题倾向：作者是在拿“江南的秋”和“故都的秋”作比,是进一步阐
14、述突出了他无限的眷恋和向往，文中的“当然”融入了一定的情感，译文2中将“of course”放在句尾突出强调使得该语义得以体现。另外翻译原文中的三个形容词“慢”、“润”和“淡”时要考虑用比较级。,改译：There is autumn also south of the Yangtze,of course.But there the grass and trees take more time to wither,the air is moister,the sky more pallid and it is often more often rainy than windy.,结合语境突出关键
15、词句子结构的完整性和一致性,一个人夹在苏州上海杭州，或厦门香港广州的市民中间，浑浑沌沌地过去，只能感到一点点清凉，秋的味，秋的色，秋的意境与姿态，总看不饱，尝不透，赏玩不到十足。,译文1：While muddling along all by myself among the urban dwellers of Suzhou,Shanghai,Hangzhou,Xiamen,Hong Kong or Guangzhou,I feel nothing but a little chill in the air,without ever relishing to my hearts content
16、 the flavor,color,mood and style of the season.译文2：One who dwells among the citizens of Suzhou,Shanghai or Hangzhou,of Xiamen,Hongkong or Guangzhou,spends his days listlessly,with but a vague feeling of coolness.As to the taste and color of autumn,its particular significance and moods,it is impossib
17、le to have ones fill of seeing,tasting or enjoying.,牛津高阶英英词典live:to be alive and have lifereside:to occupy a place permanently or for an extended period of timedwell:to live as a resident(resident:living in a place for some length of time),Muddle：in a state of confusion or disorder.Listless：has no e
18、nergy vitality or enthusiasm.,主题倾向：从1921年9月至1933年3月,郁达夫曾用相当大的精力参加左翼文艺活动和进行创作.由于国民党白色恐怖的威胁等原因,郁达夫从1933年4月由上海迁居杭州,1936年2月离杭赴福州,在杭州居住了近三年.在这段时间里,他思想苦闷,创作枯竭,过的是一种闲散安逸的生活.在家吃点精制的菜,喝点芳醇的酒,睡睡午觉,看看闲书,不愿意将行动和平时有所移易;总之是懒得动.(引自郁达夫住所的话),夹 辗转居住,思想苦闷，感情无可寄托而无精打采的精神状态,一个人夹在苏州上海杭州，或厦门香港广州的市民中间，浑浑沌沌地过去，只能感到一点点清凉，秋的味
19、，秋的色，秋的意境与姿态，总看不饱，尝不透，赏玩不到十足。,译文1：While muddling along all by myself among the urban dwellers of Suzhou,Shanghai,Hangzhou,Xiamen,Hong Kong or Guangzhou,I feel nothing but a little chill in the air,without ever relishing to my hearts content the flavor,color,mood and style of the season.译文2：One who d
20、wells among the citizens of Suzhou,Shanghai or Hangzhou,of Xiamen,Hongkong or Guangzhou,spends his days listlessly,with but a vague feeling of coolness.As to the taste and color of autumn,its particular significance and moods,it is impossible to have ones fill of seeing,tasting or enjoying.,剑桥高级学习词典
21、taste：the individual quality which it has when you put it in your mouth and which distinguishes it from other things.flavor：how food or drink tastes,or a particular taste itselftaste强调个人的感受,体验，而 flavor强调事物本身的口味，风味,改译：While dwelling among the citizens of Suzhou,Shanghai or Hangzhou,of Xiamen,Hongkong
22、 or Guangzhou and spending my days listlessly,I feel nothing but a little chill in the air,without ever relishing to my hearts content the flavor,color,mood and style of the season.,“看”、“尝”、“赏玩”“seeing,tasting,enjoying”？relish:enjoy greatly anticipating with pleasure;make pleasant to the taste.饱尝秋味,
23、秋并不是名花，也并不是美酒，那一种半开，半醉的状态，在领略秋的过程上，是不合适的。,译文1：Unlike famous flowers which are most attractive when half opening,or good wine which is most tempting when one is half drunk,autumn,however,is best appreciated in its entirety.译文2：Autumn is not a famous flower,nor a delicious wine.It is inappropriate whi
24、le enjoying the pleasures of autumn to expect something in a state of half-open or half-tipsy.,半开名花半醉美酒,明确指代关系拆译法,剑桥高级学习词典tipsy：slightly drunkdrunk：unable to speak or act in the usual way because of having had too much alcoholhalf drunk酒意半酣的状态，tipsy则不需要用half,主题倾向：“名花”总是具有一种高贵典雅的气质和姿态，其开放时总是处于一种很柔和很内
25、敛的状态；“美酒”，则是甘醇幽香，品到半醉便是恰到好处。名花美酒指代的是南国的秋。而北方的秋是开放在原野的野花，开放时是那样的泼辣和肆无忌惮；它是白干老酒，烈辣十足，要端起大碗，一饮而尽才痛快。因此，要想饱尝这野花白干酒似的秋，必须处于一种“全开全醉”的状态，这样才能领略真正的秋。而北国的秋，那才是秋味十足的秋。,北国的槐树，也是一种能使人联想起秋来的点缀。,译文1：Locust trees in the North,as a decorative embellishment of nature,also associate us with autumn.译文2：The scholar-tre
26、es in North China are also an attraction that calls to mind the advent of autumn.,改译：Locust trees in the North,as an embellishment of nature,also call to mind the advent of autumn.,associate with：与.常在一起(和.联想在一起)calls to mind：想起,像花而又不是花的那一种落蕊，早晨起来，会铺得满地。脚踏上去，声音也没有，气味也没有，只能感出一点点极微细极柔软的触觉。,译文1：On getti
27、ng up early in the morning,you will find the ground strewn all over with flower-like pistils fallen from locust trees.Quiet and smelless,they feel tiny and soft underfoot.译文2：You get up in the early morning,to find the ground carpeted all over with their fallen petals,which still have something of t
28、he look of flowers,though actually not flowers any longer.Tread on them,and you are conscious only of a very slight and soft sense of touch,with neither sound nor smell.,“落蕊”其实是对落花的描写，被秋风秋雨打落的花，支离破碎，不再保持花的模样，从意境上说，用花瓣来指代落花更为恰当！pistils：雌蕊petals：花瓣（较好）,像花而又不是花的那一种落蕊，早晨起来，会铺得满地。脚踏上去，声音也没有，气味也没有，只能感出一点点
29、极微细极柔软的触觉。,译文1：On getting up early in the morning,you will find the ground strewn all over with flower-like pistils fallen from locust trees.Quiet and smelless,they feel tiny and soft underfoot.译文2：You get up in the early morning,to find the ground carpeted all over with their fallen petals,which st
30、ill have something of the look of flowers,though actually not flowers any longer.Tread on them,and you are conscious only of a very slight and soft sense of touch,with neither sound nor smell.,扫街的在树影下一阵扫后，灰土上留下来的一条条扫帚的丝纹，看起来既觉得细腻，又觉得清闲，潜意识下并且还觉得有点儿落寞，,译文1：After a street cleaner has done the sweeping
31、 under the shade of the trees,you will discover countless lines left by his broom in the dust,which look so fine and quiet that somehow a feeling of forlornness will begin to creep up on you.译文2：The lines left on the dusty soil by scavengers in their round of sweeping under the shadows of trees give
32、 an impression of exquisiteness as well as serenity,so that subconsciously you still feel a suggestion of loneliness.,扫街的在树影下一阵扫后，灰土上留下来的一条条扫帚的丝纹，看起来既觉得细腻，又觉得清闲，潜意识下并且还觉得有点儿落寞，,译文1：After a street cleaner has done the sweeping under the shade of the trees,you will discover countless lines left by his
33、 broom in the dust,which look so fine and quiet that somehow a feeling of forlornness will begin to creep up on you.译文2：The lines left on the dusty soil by scavengers in their round of sweeping under the shadows of trees give an impression of exquisiteness as well as serenity,so that subconsciously
34、you still feel a suggestion of loneliness.,古人所说的梧桐一叶而天下知秋的遥想，大约也就在这些深沉的地方。,译文1：The same depth of implication is found in the ancient saying that a single fallen leaf from the wutong tree is more than enough to inform the world of autumns presence.译文2：It was probably something as profound as this tha
35、t inspired the phantasy of the ancients that the fall of a single leaf from the parasol-tree intimates to all the world the arrival of autumn.,古人所说的梧桐一叶而天下知秋的遥想，大约也就在这些深沉的地方。,译文1：The same depth of implication is found in the ancient saying that a single fallen leaf from the wutong tree is more than
36、enough to inform the world of autumns presence.译文2：It was probably something as profound as this that inspired the phantasy of the ancients that the fall of a single leaf from the parasol-tree intimates to all the world the arrival of autumn.,柯林斯高级英语学习词典第五版presence.：A presence is a person or creatur
37、e that you cannot see,but that you are aware of.the arrival of：When a particular time comes or a particular event happens,you can refer to its arrival.,秋蝉的衰弱的残声,更是北国的特产。,译文1：The sporadic feeble chirping of cicadas is especially characteristic of autumn in the North.译文2：The chirping of cicadas in aut
38、umn,feeble and lingering,is another specialty of North China.,所谓“特产”是指“某地或某国特有的或特别著名的产品”,用英语表达则是special local product;speciality;specialty。但是,“特产”在这里是暗语,其内涵意义不是“产品”,理解作“特色”较为恰当。译文2 把“特产”译成了specialty,是由于理解不当而出现的误译。,改译：The feeble and fading chirping of cicadas is a special characteristic of autumn in
39、the north.,跟南方的蝉的烦躁的叫声相比，“衰弱”、“残声”令人有一种秋将冬至的感觉，更觉生命的可贵。,牛津高阶英英词典lingering:to take a long time to leave or disappear feeble：without strength or vigorfading：to lose freshness or strength;gradually frow faint and disapear生命渐渐消逝,词义推敲与语境选择,因为北平处处全长着树，屋子又低，所以无论在什么地方，都听得见它们的啼唱。在南方是非要上郊外或山上去才听得到的。,译文1：Due t
40、o the abundance of trees and the low altitude of dwellings in Peiping,cicadas are audible in every nook and cranny of the city.In the South,however,one cannot hear them unless in suburbs or hills.译文2：In Beiping,everywhere are trees,and you can catch their singing anywhere,the houses being usually so
41、 low.In the South this would be an impossibility unless you went out of your way to get to the suburbs or the hills.,相比来说，译文1更忠实于原文，正是因为“the abundance of trees”和“low altitude of dwellings”，蝉声才“audible in every nook and cranny of the city”。译文2中“everywhere are trees”,“the house being usually so low”语言
42、较为累赘，逻辑稍混乱,语言流畅 言简意赅,这秋蝉的嘶叫，在北平可和蟋蟀耗子一样，简直像是家家户户都养在家里的家虫。,译文1：Because of their ubiquitous shrill noise,these insects in Peiping seem to be living off every household like crickets or mice.译文2：In Beiping,the chirp of the autumn cicada is quite like the chirp of a cricket or the squeak of a mousedomes
43、tic creatures to be found in very household.,秋蝉的嘶叫是家虫秋蝉是家虫主题倾向：叫声如此凄惨的秋蝉竟是“北国的特产”，竟是家家户户都有的家虫，作者由秋蝉的嘶叫联想到北平家中的家虫，表露了他深深的思念之情 状语:“在北平可和蟋蟀耗子一样”、“简直”、“像是”宾语中心语:“家虫”,译文1主干为秋蝉像家里的蟋蟀耗子，这是因为他们的叫声很相似。Be living off every household营造出了一种动态的感觉。体现了作者对家对故都的秋的思念译文2强调了秋蝉和蟋蟀耗子的叫声相似,同时凸显了家虫的特征，并没有表达出作者隐含的情感。,shrill：
44、having a loud and high sound that is unpleasant or painful to listen to秋蝉“衰弱”、“残声”,改译：Because of their ubiquitous chirp,these insects in Peiping seem to be living off every household like crikets or mice.,小结,1）语言流畅。流畅主要是指译文既要确切又要地道,使译语读者读起来觉得就像是用英语写作的一样,这是不容易达到的高标准。原文:可是,啊,北国的秋,却特别地来得清,来得静,来得悲凉。In N
45、orth China,however,it is particularly limpid,serene and melancholy.,2）句子结构。英语句子结构紧凑严密,常用各种形式手段连接词语、分句,注重显性连接,注重句子的形式和完整。汉语不像英语那样大量使用结构词(连词、介词等),造句时少用或不用形式连接手段,注重隐性连贯,注重逻辑顺序。原文：江南，秋当然也是有的；但草木雕得慢，空气来得润，天的颜色显得淡，并且又时常多雨而少风；There is autumn also south of the Yangtze,of course.But there the grass and trees
46、 take more time to wither,the air is moister,the sky more pallid and it is often more often rainy than windy.,脚踏上去，声音也没有，气味也没有，只能感出一点点极微细极柔软的触觉。Quiet and smelless,they feel tiny and soft underfoot.,3）合乎逻辑。一般来说,语言应与逻辑一致,但也应看到不同民族的语言都有其自身的习惯说法,有时一种语言的习惯在另一种语言里不但不存在,还可能被认为逻辑性不强。这就要求译者细致地分析这种差别,从而在译文中体现出来。,4）词意。对词意的理解牵涉到很多问题。在某些具体场合,有的普通词语会有特殊含义,词意不好掌握。如“秋蝉的衰弱的残声,更是北国的特产。”The feeble and fading chirping of cicadas is a special characteristic of autumn in the north.,The End,Thank you for your time!,The End,Thank you for your time!,
