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1、摩登家庭season 第一集 字母Claire : Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them? Phil : Yeah, just a sec. Claire : Kids! Phil : That is so,. Claire : Okay. Phil : Kids, get down here! Haley : Why are you guys yelling at us, when were way upstairs, just text me. Claire : Alright, Thats not gonna happen, an
2、d, wow, youre not wearing that outfit. Haley : Whats Wrong with it? Claire : Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter. about her skirt? Phil : Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart! Haley : Thanks! Claire : No, its way to short, people know youre a girl, you dont need to prove
3、 it to them. Alex: Luke got his head stuck in the banister again. Phil : I got it. Wheres the baby oil? Claire : Its on our bedside tip. I Dont know, find it. Come on! Claire : I. was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it. I.I, I just dont want my kids to make the same bad mistakes i
4、 made. If Haley never would exhibit on a beach in Florida, half naked. Ive done my job. Phil : Our job. Claire : Right. Ive done our job. Gloria : Bravo Manny! Kick it! Kick it! Manny go! No! That was a penalty! Jay : Gloria, there Owens six, Lets take it down a notch. Gloria : Were, very different.
5、 Hes from the city. He has big business. I come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful. Its the number one village in North-Columbia for all the. whats the word? Jay : Murders. Gloria : Yes, the murders. Gloria : Manny, stop him! Stop him! Boy : Dammit, manny! a Mom : Come on, coac
6、h! Youve gotta take that kid out! Gloria : You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!? Jay : Honey, honey. Gloria : Why dont you worry about your son! Hes spend the first half with his hands in his pants! Josh : Ive wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks. Im Josh, Ryans dad. Gloria :
7、Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett. Mannys mother. Josh : Oh, this must be your dad. Jay : Her dad? Uh, no, no, thats funny. Actually no, Im her husband! Dont be fooled by the. Give me a second here. Mitchell : Whos the good girl? Whos that? Old lady : Oh, Shes adorable! Mitchell : Oh, thank you! Old lady : He
8、y precious. Mitchell : Hello. Hi, hi. Weve just adopted her from Vietnam and were bringing her home for the first time. Man : Shes an angel. You and youre wife must be thrilled! Cameron : Sorry, sorry, sorry, Daddy needed snacks. Hi! So, what are we talking about? Mitchell : We have been together fo
9、r. five, five years now? And weve decided we really wanted to have a baby. so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate. Cameron : Then we figured, they are already mean enough. Can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you. Ekk. Mitchell : You saw that right? Everybody
10、fondling up to Lillian, then you walk on. and suddenly its all Huu. Im gonna give a speech. Cameron : You are not giving a speech . you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! Mitchell : Youre right, its okay, Im sorry. Woman : Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs. Mitchell :
11、 Okay, excuse me. Excuse me, but this baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasnt for us creampuffs . and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race. Cameron : Mitchell! Mitchell : . creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe. Cameron :
12、 Mitchell! Mitchell : What? Cameron : Shes got the creampuffs. Mitchell : Oh! Cameron : We would like to pay for everyones headsets. MODERN FAMILY - SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 Phil : Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this? Luke :I thought I could get out this time. Alex :Im just gonna say it. he nee
13、ds to be checked by a specialist. Phil : There! Be free, Excalibur! Haley : Im having a friend over today. Claire : Who? Haley : You dont know him. Claire : Him. Him? Luke : Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him? Haley : Shut up! Phil : Easy. Easy. Alex: You dont even. Claire : Luke, Alex, why dont you tak
14、e it outside, okay? Alex: And do what? Phil : Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. Im kidding! Claire : Haley! Whos the boy? Haley : His name is Dylan . You know, I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me again. Claire : Honey! Hang on a second,
15、 youre fifteen, its the first time youve had a boy over. I mean Im bound to be a little surprised, but. Were not gonna embarrass you! Phil : Im better go charge the camcorder. Im kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to? Phil : Im a cool dad. Thats. thats my thang. Im hype, I surf the web, I text. L
16、OL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so. Alex: MOM! DAD! Claire : What happened? Alex: Luke just shot me! Luke : I didnt mean to! Claire : Are you okay? Alex: No, the little bitch shot me! Claire : Language! Luke : Theyre only
17、 plastic bbs! It was an accident! Claire : What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this! Phil : Buddy. Uncool. Claire : Thats it? No, no, no, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone . you shoot him. Phil : We were serious about that? Claire : Yes, we were and now you h
18、ave to follow through. Luke : Im so sorry! Claire : Liar. Go! Phil : But hes got a birthday party. Alex: Whats more important here dad? Claire : You can shoot him afterwards, hell be home at two. Phil : I cant shoot him at two, showing a house at two. Alex: What about three? Claire : No, hes at a so
19、ccer game at three, and then. Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five. 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15. Phil : Yeah, I guess that works for me. Claire : Shoot Luke Phil : Sorry dude, its on the calendar Luke :Oh, come on! Manny : Im quitting soccer, it is a game for children. Gloria : No, y
20、oure not quitting. You would have stopped that goal if you werent staring at that little girl. Manny : She is not a girl, She is a woman. Jay : You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that? Gloria : If someone says something about my family, Im going to. J
21、ay : Im just . saying you could take it down here a little bit, thats all. Gloria : Well yeah, coz thats when you live down here . but I live up here! Jay : You dont have to be so emotional all the time, thats all Im saying! Manny, youre with me on this, right? Manny : I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I
22、love her. Jay : Oh, for Gods sake. Gloria : Honey, shes 16. Manny : Oh, its okay for you to take an older lover? Jay : Hey! Watch it! Manny : I want to go to the mall where she works. But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one. Gloria : Okay, if thats what you really want to do. Jay : Ser
23、iously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16 year old, youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants! Manny : Stop the car! Gloria : Where are you going? You see? You hurt his feelings. Jay : Well, if it toughens
24、him up a little bit, then . oh, jeez, hes picking flowers! Gloria : Manny is very passionate, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but, too crazy. It seemed like all what we did was, fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love. One time, Im not kidding you, we fe
25、ll out the window together. Jay : Which one were you doing? Im hearing this for the first time! Mitchell : This doesnt worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and shes still wide awake. Cameron : Oh, stop worrying! Mitchell : But Cam, That orphanage, it was all women. Maybe she cant fall asleep un
26、less she feels a womans shape. Cameron : I guess thats possible. Mitchell : So, here. Cameron : What the hell is that suppose to mean? Cameron : Yes, Ive gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby. which has been very difficult. But, apparently youre body does a nesting, very materna
27、l, primal. thing, were it retains nutrients. Some sort of molecular physiology thing. But thats science, you cant, you cant fight it, so. Mitchell : Im not saying anything. Cameron : Youre saying everything. Mitchell : Count to three, one, t. Cameron : Three! Mitchell : Okay. Oh Cam! Cameron : Oh My
28、 God, do you love it? Mitchell : Yes, I. What the hell is that? Cameron : I had Andre do it when we were gone. Mitchell : Is that us? With wings? Cameron : Were floating above her, always there to protect her. Mitchell : Well, thats reassuring, right Lily? Yeah, we tore you away from everything you
29、know but dont worry, things are normal here. Youre fathers are floating fairies! Can you call Andre? Have him paint something a little less. gay? By the way, We need to stop having friends with names like Andre. Cameron : Redheaded dad is angry daddy. Mitchell : No Im not. Cameron : Yes, you are. Ev
30、en Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport. Mitchell : Okay, thats another one, Pepper! Cameron : Okay, whats up? Mitchell : Alright, look. I . I never told my family we were adopting a baby. Cameron : I know. Mitchell : You do? Cameron : Ya, And I dont blame you, I know your family.
31、You tell them, they say something judgmentally. Mitchell : Exactly! Cameron : You get mad. Mitchell : I know, and whats supposed to be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight. Cameron : And who wants a big emotional scene like that? Mitchell : Thank you, Im so relieved you understand
32、. Cameron : I invited them over for dinner tonight. Mitchell : What? Cameron : I had to! This would have gone on forever. Youre an avoider. Mitchell : No, no! Cam, Im calling them now, Im cancelling. Cameron : No, youre not! Youre telling your family youve adopted a baby, tonight. And you do have av
33、oiding issues! Even Angelo said so. Mitchell : Are you really not hearing these things? Haley : Dont answer it, Ill get it! Claire : Hi! Hey, you must be Dylan. Phil : Hey, Dylan, yeah. Claire : Im Haleys mother. Haley : Hey, come on, lets go. Claire : Hang on one second. Dylan. Youre still in High
34、School? Dylan : Yeah, Im a Senior. Claire : Phil, sweetie, honey. He is Dylan and he is a Senior.you have to scare him. Phil : Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, yo! Phil : Its like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work. Youre mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But youre
35、eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, its not! Its all good? No, its . Dylan : Jo. Haley : Okay, Ive seen two guys Phil : Wait You two . two keep it real? You know what I mean, son? Dylan : Not really. Haley : Please stop. Phil : Thats cool! Oh, God, Thats my back! Claire : Sweatheart. Ph
36、il : Owh, oh, I slipped in the baby oil. Phil : Ooh, where you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation. Claire : I dont know about this, shall I call a doctor? Phil : No, no, no. Youre very strong homes Dylan : Thanks. Phil : Okay, nice, nice soft landing. Okay, I
37、am on my side though, so flip me right back and were good. Well be good. Just need to get flipped right on my back, and we should be fine, so. Manny : Brenda Feldman. Gloria : What is that? Manny : A poem Ive written for Brenda Feldman. Jay : Of course that is. Manny : I put my thoughts into words,
38、and now my words into action! Jay : Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this. Manny : Im eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money? Jay : What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old? Gloria : Its like a bullfight! Jay : Ever seen a bullfight? I cant watch this. Gloria : Youre in such a bad moo
39、d. And I know why, Its because that man thought you were my father. Jay : No. Gloria : Yes. Jay : No. Gloria : When you say no like that, its always yes. Come on, were in the mall, lets get you like some younger clothes . theres a store there that I know. Jay : I dont need any younger clothes! And I
40、 dont care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me. Gloria : Good, you shouldnt. You should only care what I think. I love you, and I dont care how old you are. So stop being an gloomygoos, and stop being so hard on Manny. Jay : The only reason Im hard on Manny is just because I
41、dont wanna see him make a fool of himself. And I can smell that hair goo of his from here! Gloria : Look, I dont know whats gonna happen to him over there but youre his family now. And that means only one thing. You be there winning his back, not to spit in his face! Jay : What? Gloria : Something m
42、y mom always says, its gorgeous in Spanish. Look, hes there. Manny : She has a boyfriend. Gloria : OHH, Im sorry, mi nino. Manny : I gave her my heart. She gave me a picture of me as an old time sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me, wasnt it? Gloria : No mi amore, It was brave, right Jay? Brave. Ja
43、y : I. b. youll know better next time. Come on! Lets get a pretzel. Security guard : Oh, excuse me, sir? We asked all mall-walkers to stay to the right. Haley : Alex, get out! MOM! Claire : Alex, leave your sister alone! Alex: I was just getting my book, gosh! Claire : I know sweetie, but you need t
44、o respect her privacy. What are they doing up there? Alex: Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie. Claire : Okay. Okay. Im making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? Alex: Sure. So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months and the
45、n like tell everyone the babys yours? Claire : What? Alex: That senior at school was out sick for like four months, but Terna Wristniks says she was out breastfeeding in a cleanup carwash. Phil : Buddy, what are you wearing? Luke : Nothing. Phil : No jacket, one hat. How many pairs of underwear do y
46、ou have on? Luke : One . Six. Alex: First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother whos really my nephew. Claire : Haley is not getting pregnant! Alex: Im just saying if. Claire : I know, and I know you like to make trouble for
47、your sister but its not gonna work this time. You know why? Cause your sister is a good girl. I know, I was just like her when I was. Phil : I want you to know, Im not enjoying this. This is an important lesson that youre leaning, so. Its all good, keep it. Luke : Youre to close, its gonna hurt. Phil : Its supposed to hurt! Luke : And why are you smiling? Phil : Im. What? Oh, forget it. I cant do this. The point is, youre scared. I think youve learned your lesson. Luke : Awww! Haley : Mom?! What are you doin
