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1、商务电子邮件写作,上海新东方学校（苏州分校）张众,商务写作的基本原则,Thank you for your offer by fax.We are interested in your product of computers.As our order is a relatively large one,we will appreciate it if you can lower your price a little bit.I look forward to your reply.,正式用语与非正式用语,The main 10 industries in my lovely hometow
2、n are light engineering,furniture-making,sugar-refining,etc.10 industries ten industries My lovely hometown my hometown Etc.includeThe main ten industries in my hometown include light engineering,furniture-making,sugar-refining.,正式用语与非正式用语,Here is the BMW project.Let us know what you think at Monday
3、s meeting.Here is Let us what you thinkPlease review the attached BMW report.I look forward to hearing your comment at next Mondays meeting.Thanks.,正式用语与非正式用语,The problems I have found are as follows:The car door needs improving The window glass should better be altered Some problems exist with air-
4、conditioner,人称使用的建议,“I 大于 we”Please contact me at 8803 8804.Please contact us at 8803 8804.“you 大于 I”I will be available at any time.You can contact me at your convenience.,数字和比较,用蓝牙耳机接听手机，比用普通耳机接听手机要方便得多。It is more convenient to use Bluetooth earphone than to use ordinary earphone for cell phone.采用
5、我们技术的产品已经占据30以上的市场。Products with our technology account for more than thirty percent of market.（Constitute/account for/represent）,描述变化趋势,该产品的市场份额在2006年是10，2007年增长到15，增长了5。This product increased in its market share by five percent from ten percent in 2006 to fifteen percent in 2007.,用连词连接句子,（1）Blueto
6、oth earphone constitutes a majority of market.（2）Ordinary earphone constitutes only a minority.Bluetooth earphone constitutes a majority of market,but/while ordinary earphone constitutes only a minority.,分词,我做了一系列调查。我建议添置一台电脑以应付日益增多的办公工作。（1）I did a series of investigation.（2）I recommend that we shou
7、ld buy a new computer to cope with the ever increasing office work.Doing a series of investigation,I recommend that we should buy a new computer to cope with the ever increasing office work.,独立结构,我经过一系列调查，加上天气变化，我建议添置一台电脑。Doing a series of investigation,with the weather changing,I recommend that we
8、should buy a new computer.,主句,漫步在五月份的九寨沟，溪水潺潺，小鸟欢鸣，微风拂面，令人恍若置身天堂。Wandering in Jiuzhaigou in May,with the streams winding,happy birds singing,breeze touching the cheeks,one feels in heaven.使用“主句分词独立结构”，就能完成大部分日常的句子。,电子邮件总体结构,From:To:Cc:Subject:ThanksDate:Fri,21 Feb 1995 12:28:08 Dear Sirs,Thank you s
9、o much for your help.Best regards,Andy,英文邮件的具体内容,1.Senders address55 Jinfan RdCanglang DistrictSuzhou City,Jiangsu Prov.P.R.C.215000,英文邮件的具体内容,2.Recipient s address3.Reference Number(Ref.No.)Your Ref.Our Ref.,英文邮件的具体内容,4.Date例：04 05 06（英）2006年5月4日（美）2006年4月5日为避免混淆，月份写成英文最好。例如：2007年10月20日（英）20 Octobe
10、r 2007（美）October 20,2007,英文邮件的具体内容,5.Salutation（1）若知道名字，则：Dear Mr./Dear Miss/Dear Mrs./Dear Ms.（2）若不知道名字，则：Dear Sir/Dear Madam/Dear Sir or Madam（3）若寄给公司，则：Dear Sirs,英文邮件的具体内容,6.Subject(Sub.)New Product Launching Press Conference Comments,BMW Report,英文邮件的具体内容,7.Main body8.Complimentary close（1）Dear S
11、ir or Madam/Dear Sirs/Dear Madam,Yours faithfully/faithfully yours（2）Dear Mr.Smith,Yours sincerely/sincerely yours,英文邮件的具体内容,9.Signature10.Typed signature11.Title 总：chief/general 副的：deputy/vice/associate12.Enc.(Enclose)=attachment13.P.S.=postscript,如何扩展叙述,模拟情境：写信给总部，说明自己不能参加明天的总部会议。I am sorry but I
12、will be unable to go to the meeting at our companys head office.I cannot attend it because of previous arrangements which I cannot change.Mr.Jane,a very good colleague of mine,will go instead of me.Please accept my apologies.,通过语序表达强调,下个月，销售部门将雇佣两名新的客户经理，来提高我们的售后服务质量。The after-sale service will be i
13、mproved next month due to the two new client managers to be employed by marketing department.Next month,sales department will hire two new client managers to improve our after-sale service.Two new client managers will be hired next month to improve our after-sale service.,电子邮件的细节修饰,下面将讲述一些细节修饰，它们在e-
14、mail中都很有用。了解这些细节，将使电子邮件更加亲切、规范、自然、人性化。,初次指涉,一个词语在文中第一次出现，即初次指涉。初次指涉，应写出完整的名称，有必要的话就加以解释。因为你不能肯定对方一定知道。在之后的指涉中，可以使用缩写。例：人力资源部的新任主管召开全部门的会议。The new head of human resources called a meeting with the entire HR department.,一致性,一份文本中，某一个词的形式，要前后保持一致。一致性是逻辑清晰的表现。若违背了一致性原则，则给对方感觉思维混乱。例1：website和web site例2：1
15、990s和1990s以上两例，两种写法都是正确的，但如果文中多次出现，每次都应当用同样的形式。,正式与非正式,正式写作的文体：年度报告、公司间往来、会议公文、给客户的邮件、其他正式场合。非正式写作的文体：同事间的邮件往来。例如：同事间的往来，结尾可以用All the best,/Cheers,/Best,等给客户的信函，结尾则要用Yours truly,/Sincerely yours,等,何时大写 1,专有名词要大写。例如：George W.Bush。引述句的第一个字要大写。例如：Mike Moore said,“The accountant cant believe the audit i
16、s finished.”书本、戏剧、头条新闻等标题的每个词首字母都要大写。例如：Officials Question the Numbers in the Report书信中，地址的每个词首字母都要大写。例：333 Guoding Rd,Yangpu District,Shanghai.,何时大写,个人头衔，如在姓名之前，则大写。例如：Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan头衔如在姓名之后，则小写。例如：Igor,tool engineer如果是工作而不是头衔，不管在前在后，都要小写。例如：copyeditor Mary Brown,何时大写
17、 2,所有假日名，都要大写。无论官方、非官方；宗教、非宗教。例如：Abraham Lincoln Day履历表上，学校科目无需大写。但涉及语言和特殊地名的科目要大写。例如：Latin,English,biology,geography,European history.一星期的日子和月份，都要大写。例如：Thursday,April,何时大写 3,方位词North,South,East,West，在表示方向的时候要小写。例如：Go south on Kingdom Street to find the headquarters.在表示地区的时候，方位词要大写。例如：They are plann
18、ing to move to the South.如果方位词是专有名词的一部分，也要大写。例如：South Street,the Fifth Avenue如果出现在地名之后，则要缩写并大写。例如：中山南路Zhongshan Road(S),何时大写 4,出现在数字之前的词要大写。例如：Page 13,Section 5,Version 3表示电脑功能的词要大写。例如：请按“发送”按钮。Hit the Send button.例外情况：cc和bcc，要斜体并小写。例如：Please cc Tracy Lam on your e-mail.,缩写 1,公司名称：在地址中，以及文中第一次出现时，要使
19、用公司全名。之后，可以不用全名。例：我建议购买英特尔的产品。英特尔所拥有的顶尖技术能符合我们的需求。I recommend we buy the products from Intel Corporation.Intel has the best technology for our need.,缩写 2,对于医生，有两种写法：Dr.Heidi WaldorfHeidi Waldorf,M.D.错误的写法：Dr.Heidi Waldorf,M.D.对于博士，有两种写法：Dr.Raymond MurrayRaymond Murray,Ph.D.错误的写法：Dr.Raymond Murray,Ph
20、.D.,缩写 3,对于律师，要写成：Virginia Kelvin,Esq.错误的写法：Mr.Virginia Kelvin,Esq.在人名后面的junior和senior要缩写并大写：Johann Strauss,Jr.Johann Strauss,Sr.不要缩写职务说明，这和头衔不同。例如：technologist Alex Sexton,缩写 4,表格、简报、参考书目，要使用缩写。月份如果出现在数字之后，通常要缩写。十二个月份的缩写分别为：Jan.Feb.Mar.Apr.May.June.July.Aug.Sept.Oct.Nov.Dec.例如：Jan.11,2008或11 Jan.20
21、08若月份单独出现，或只跟着年份，则要完整拼出。例如：October 1985，不能写成Oct.1985,缩写 5,如果是小写字母缩写，则每个字母后面都要加句号。例如：a.m.而不是amc.o.d.而不是codf.o.b.而不是fob使用缩写时，用&取代and，例如：research and development缩写为R&D，不能写成R and D非缩写词不能用&，例如：Jim and Edwin will handle the project.不能写成Jim&Edwin will handle the project.,图表中的缩写,为了节省空间，图表中可以使用文中没有出现的缩写。这和图片
22、说明是不同的。例如：billion/million/20032008写成：bn/mn/200308一星期的缩写：Sun.,Mon,Tues.,Wed.,Thurs.,Fri.,Sat.或：S.M.T.W.T.F.S如果有多张图表，要注意图表之间的一致性。包括：字体、字型、表格形状、标点符号、颜色、小数点的使用。,图片说明,只需一两句话即可。用现在时。要指出人物。常见错误：专有名词拼法和文中不一致。例1：A man at work on the factory floor.例2：An employee uses the company gym.例3：Douglas Eich,a foreman
23、at the Detroit plant,examines the new ergonomic adjustment made to the assembly line in May 2002.,表示温度,It is around 5 outside.（写法）It is around 5 degree centigrade outside.（读法）The pipes froze because it was minus 10.错误写法：The pipes froze because it was-10.,中文名字,中文名字，要先写名再写姓。原因：防止对方把姓和名搞错。例如：Zhong Zhan
24、g必要的话，可以把姓的每个字母都大写。例如：Zhong ZHANG,英文名字 1,在正文中，首次提到某个人时，要避免使用Mr.,Mrs.,Ms.等词语，而是要写全名。例：John Banville is the guest speaker today.再次提起时，可以选择缩写形式。例：John is an acclaimed author.或：Mr.Banville is an acclaimed author.但要注意，不论哪种形式，在同一份文件中要保持一致性。,英文名字 2,不要在文件中使用名字的缩写。例如：Thomas is our distinguished guest today.T
25、hom is an acclaimed author.只要身份明确，则可采用个人常见的形式。例如：Bill Gates,Bill Clinton,冒号colon,用来介绍相关陈述、引述。Rodger is rising rapidly in his company:He will be promoted to vice president next year.Rodger is rising rapidly in his company:he will be promoted to vice president next year.使用冒号时，如果引述是一个完整句子，则要首字母大写。其他情况下
26、，首字母小写。例：Three positions will open up next month:account executive,administrative assistant,manager.,逗号comma,逗号的目的：清理意义。不要过度使用逗号。两个独立的句子被一个连接词连接时，中间用逗号。例如and,but,for等。Bill will go to the meeting,but he must finish the proposal first.Mary likes her new job,and she plans to stay until she retires.,如果词
27、汇或短语对句义来说是限定的，则不要在该词汇或短语前后使用逗号。Xiaogang Fengs film Assemble is playing at the theater.如果是非限定的，则要在前后加逗号。The current Chinese President,Hu Jintao,is paying an official visit to Plantronics.练习：我们的总经理Rosy发表了重要讲话。Our general manager,Rosy,gave an important speech.王力宏的歌“大城小爱”是我的最爱。Leehons song Small Love in
28、 Big City is my favorite.,结尾的问候语要加逗号。例如：sincerely yours,/faithfully yours,表示附加说明的词句，前后用逗号隔开。例如：If this is not agreeable to you,you should seek the counsel of some other law firm.If,however,this is not agreeable to you,you should seek the counsel of some other law firm.,一连串的列举，要用逗号分隔。练习：加标点：Pens penc
29、ils stapler ruler etc are in the desk drawerPens,pencils,stapler,ruler,etc.are in the desk drawer.一些列简单的词，最后的and前可以不加逗号。例：Frances flag is red,white and blue.复杂句子并列，最后的and 前要加逗号。例：Jim spoke about the tax liability,Ed spoke about taxes and tariffs,and Stuart covered pricing and financing.,直接引述之前或之后加上逗
30、号。Allen said,“I will never hire an intern again.”如果引述是句子的一部分，则不用逗号。Allen said that we needed“to start from scratch”.直接对话中，使用逗号。Professor Nash,its a big honor to have you here.Yes,I will go to the meeting with you.,使用逗号把年龄分隔开。Bill Eckert,59,plans to take early retirement.括号之前，请勿使用逗号。Vinny will take t
31、he plane to New York(and the subway to Brooklyn).两个以上的形容词，用逗号隔开。He was the only short,slim participant in the study.,形容词的顺序：“现描大长高行令塞国材途”限、描、大、长、高、形、龄、色、国、材、途。the beautiful,small,short,round,old,black,American,wooden,writing pencil练习：一条古老的苏州步行街An old Suzhou walking street,具体日期，要用逗号分隔年份。She currently
32、 works in Chicago,but on Sept.6,2008,she will relocate to Paris.如果只有年和月份，则不用逗号。In December 2008 Kate will retire.名字和职务之间，可以空行，也可以逗号。例：Igor,tool engineer或Igor tool engineer,名称带有Inc.的公司，Inc.前后保持一致。We will visit SCI systems,Inc.,on our next trip.或：We will visit SCI systems Inc.on our next trip.,破折号dash
33、,长破折号：表示思维的突然中断。比逗号语气强烈。破折号的两端不要插入空格。The diversity manager and the benefits managerboth from human resourcesattended the meeting.短破折号：作为连字符。New York-born golfer还可以表示日期的连接。July-August 2007,分号semicolon,分号的分隔效果大于逗号，小于冒号、句号。用分号连接两个完整句子，不需加连词。Human resources deals with personnel issues;auditing deals wit
34、h risk issues.分号表示比逗号更强的分隔。,例：Andy Clinton,director of human resources,asks employees to read the Employee Manual,the Insurance Booklet,including the preface,the Employee Stylebook,even though it is more than 300 pages,and the Code of Ethics.改为：Andy Clinton,director of human resources,asks employees
35、 to read the Employee Manual；the Insurance Booklet,including the preface；the Employee Stylebook,even though it is more than 300 pages;and the Code of Ethics.,怎样跳到另一个位置,continued on 转页continued from 接页例：第10页：Patty Leonard executed the trade on continued on Page 120120页：continued from Page 10 December
36、 28,2006.Leonard did not,部门名称,部门名称一般要小写。human resources,finance,information systems,public relations.缩写时要大写。HR,PR,R&D,货币currency,如果没有标明金额，则写出完整的货币名称。We are unable to accept Japanese yen,and we are only able to accept US dollar.如果标明金额，则可以使用完整货币名称，也可以使用货币符号。The company invested 400 million US dollars.
37、（1）货币符号有两种：以美元为例：$和USDThe company invested$400 million.（2）The company invested USD400 million.（3）电子邮件最好用（1）（3）种形式。无论何种形式，都要保持“一致性”。,数字用法补充,使用billion和million，而不是用一堆零。找一下规律：4.5 million/6.58 billion/4.768 trillion如果分数比1小，则要完整拼出。Approximately one-third of Americans have access to the Internet through wo
38、rk.分数比1大，则用数字表示。He poured 2 7/8 gallons into the mold.,句首的数字一定要写成英文，无论何种风格。Eighty-four employees attended the conference.口语中的数字要完整拼出。（正）Thanks a million.（误）Thanks 1,000,000.序数：19要完整拼出：first,second,third,fourth,fifth,sixth,seventh,eighth,ninth.10开始则写成数字。如14th,16th.,e.g.的用法,切记：for example之前的句子，必须意思明确。
39、for example是为了重申前面的声明，而不是为了解释前面模糊的声明。误：The design company has many clients(e.g.,HSBC,Citi Bank,Standard Charted).正：The design company has many clients from the banking system(e.g.,HSBC,Citi,Standard Charted).e.g.通常用在括号中，都要小写，要加句点，最后要用逗号隔开。,i.e.的用法,这是拉丁文id est的缩写，表示that is.i.e.要小写，加句点，后面加逗号，在括号中。The
40、designer developed the new companys branded materials(i.e.,letterhead,signage,business cards).原则同“e.g.”，之前的句子一定要含义明确。,it的用法,用来指代身份不明的人。Someone left this package on my desk,but I dont know who it was.形式主语。It is unbelievable that he finished the project so quickly.指代一艘船。The ship sailed Friday;it is fu
41、lly booked.指代一个动物。,“有点”,口语：kind of/sort ofShe was kind of disappointed with her raise.半正式：ratherShe was rather disappointed with her raise.正式：去掉She was disappointed with her raise.,自动引用对方邮件时,只保留相关内容删去冗余内容,EOM,EOM=end of message不要发只有一个词的e-mail，浪费读者时间。From:Bill SmithTo:sales managerSubject:Thank you EOMDate:Jan.12,2008（以下空白）,“写作请求真实，而非虚华。”圣保罗企业传播经理 威廉坦利（William Tamlyn）“下笔之后，一定要问问自己：就是这样吗？如果没有好的答案，就不要寄出去。”GTE外部传播资深副总裁 彼得桑尼士（Peter Thonis）,
