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1、先生们Gentlemen.荒野周末即将来到Wildernessweekendisuponus.到时没有电子游戏Therewillbenovideogames.没有上网平板TherewillbenoInternetpads.这个周末你们只有两个父母Thisweekendyouhavetwoparents:我和自然之母MeandMotherNature.而我AndI.是自然之母的弟弟amMotherNaturesbrother:自然之弟Brothernature.但你也可以叫我AndyButyoucancallmeAndy.或者自然之弟Orbrothernature.你们决定Yourcall.谢谢
2、你Andy-自然之弟Thankyou,Andy.-Brothernature.过去三年里Forthelastthreeyears我一直作为Pawnee守林人的团体领袖IhaveservedastroopleaderofthePawneeRangers.这是我们的手册Thisisourhandbook.1.做个男人整本都是我写的Iwrotethewholethingmyself.好的到了授予徽章的时间了Okay,itstimetogiveoutthebadges.嗯我们来看看Um,let,ssee.Emily你得到了最佳社区服务徽章Emily,yougetthebadgeformostcommu
3、nityservice.给Casey最佳企鹅博客徽章ToCasey,thebestpenguinblogbadge.给Abigail最飘逸秀发ToAbigail,flyesthairstyle.而Ann得到了第二飘逸秀发的徽章AndAnngetsthebadgeforsecond-flyesthairstyle.哦我没比这个啊Oh!Iwasntcompetingforthat.当然啊llsay.五年前Fiveyearsago,一位勇敢的五年级生想加入Pawnee守林人apluckyfifth-graderwantedtojointhePawneeRangers,但他们行政理事会的答案和讨厌混&
4、hearts;蛋♥一样buttheirexecutivecouncilsaidwhatobnoxiousjerksalwayssay.”不仅限男性No.Thisismales-only.去创建你自己的俱乐部吧”Gostartyourownclub.她没做到Shecouldnt.所以我做到了SoIdid.我们是Pawnee女神WerecalledthePawneeGoddesses,而我们简直太棒了andwerefreakinawesome.嘿Ron你觉得谁的俱乐部更好Hey,Ron,whoseclubdoyouthinkisbetter,你的还是我的yoursormine?答案是
5、我的说我的更好Theanswerismine.Saymineisbetter.这不是比赛Itsnotacompetition.哦但这是的你的俱乐部阻止女孩子进的时候把它变成了比赛Oh,butitis.Yourclubmadeitacompetition,whentheykeptgirlsout.哦我的星星啊Oh,mystars.我只是个平凡女子mjustalittlelady.我脆弱的体质应付不了吓人的户外环境Myfragileconstitutioncannothandlethefearsomeoutdoors.我对强势的女性没有问题LeslieIhavenoproblemwithstron
6、gwomen,Leslie.谁是Leslie啊Who,sLeslie?我的名字是AnnabelleVandergrafMynameisAnnabelIeVandergrat你们哪and,yall,太阳照到我头发上我就会碎成一片一片的啊Ijustfalltopieceswhenthesunshinesonmyhair-ed.然而PaWnee护林人的成立就是因为一些男孩子However,thePawneeRangerswerefoundedbecausesomeboys想到野外去学习传统生存技能wanttogooutintonatureandlearntraditionalsurvivalskil
7、ls而不会被女孩子们分了心withoutbeingdistractedbygirls.嗯我们太棒的女神们不会被废物们分心的Well,myawesomegoddessesdontwanttobedistractedbylosers.说我的俱乐部更好RonSaymyclubisbetter,Ron.说吧Sayit.我的俱乐部更好Myclubisbetter.说吧Sayit.来吧说它更好Comeon.Sayitsbetter.说吧Sayit.说它更好说我的俱乐部更好Sayitsbetter.Saymyclubisbetter.说吧投降吧Sayit.Giveitup.谁的俱乐部更好我的Whoseclu
8、bisbetter?Mine.说吧你知道的Sayit.Youknowit.说吧Sayit.原则上来讲我不会说任何Onprinciple,Ineversayanything其他人很明显试图让我说的话thatanotherpersonisobviouslytryingtogetmetosay.我第一场结婚仪式花了两个小时Myfirstweddingceremonytooktwohours,因为当牧师说”重复我的话”时becauseafterthepriestsaidRepeatafterme我沉默了Ifellsilent.公园与游憩公园与游憩第4季第4集第4季第4集我在审计预算我注意到你们文书工作
9、落后太多了Ivebeenauditingthebudget,andInoticedyourewaybehindonyourpaperwork.呃Jerry你两年半都没有填一份PC-IO表格Uh,Jerry,youhaventfilledoutaPC-IOformintwoandahalfyears.哦哎呀对不起Aw,jeez,msorry.是的我们基本上是以我们自己的速度来做文书Yeah,wekindadoourpaperworkatourownspeed.哦真的吗Oh,really?嗯我有点需要你们按照我的速度来做Well,Ikindaneedyoutodoitatmyspeed.好吧我会做
10、的Fine,lldothem.你今天出什么事了Whatiswrongwithyoutoday?他们把权利的游戏砍了吗DidtheycancelGameofThrones?没出什么事做你自己的工作就好Nothingiswrong,justdoyourjob.他们永远不会砍了权力的游戏的AndtheywouldnevercancelGameofThrones.那可是部踏界巨作啊It,sacrossoverhit.它不只是给奇幻迷们拍的Itsnotjustforfantasyenthusiasts.他们是在奇幻世界里拍现实的人的故事啊Theyretellinghumanstoriesinafanta
11、syworld.请填表谢谢Fillouttheforms,please.Thankyou.我曾经有一个非常好的呆在Pawnee的理由IusedtohaveonereallygoodreasonforstayinginPawnee.而现在我不确定什么能把我留在这了Butnow,mnotsurewhatskeepingmehere.虽然我离一个免费肉丸三明治只剩下两个三明治了Although,Iamjusttwosandwichesawayfromafreemeatballsub.这个过期了Thisisexpired.守林人们作为来到这次旅途的奖赏Rangers,asarewardforcomin
12、gonthistrip,我给你们每个人准备了两份礼物Ihavegottenyoueachtwogifts.来吧打开它们Goahead.Openem.这是什么啊Whatisthis?这是一块帆布Thatisacanvassheet,男人最有用的物体themostversatileobjectknowntoman.它可以用来制♥作♥帐篷背包鞋子担架风帆防水衣Itcanbeusedtomaketents,backpacks,shoes,stretchers,sails,tarpaulins,我推测在最可怕的情况下andIsuppose,inthemostdireofcir
13、cumstances,这还能作为“艺术品的制♥作♥台面itcanbeasurfaceonwhichtomakeart.第二个礼物是什么Whatsthesecondgift?第二个礼物是这个盒子本身Thesecondgiftistheboxitself.你们有I吩钟时间仅用这两个礼物制♥作♥一个避难所Youhave10minutestoassembleashelterusingonlyyourtwogifts.开始Go.女士们1.adies!女神小屋从没有这么好看过Thegoddesscabinhasneverlookedbetter.今年
14、的小屋翻新徽章将会竞争激烈啊Thisyear,scabinrefurbishmentbadgeisgoingtobehotlycontested.好的所以每个人用你们的宽松手工艺时间做出了什么呢Okay,sowhatdideverybodymakefortheirlooselystructuredcrafttime?Lauren1.auren?GertrudeStein女性作家Stein也有啤酒杯的意思我做了个Gertrude啤酒杯”ImadeaGertrudeStein.太棒了Lauren做得真好Amazing.Lauren,thatssogood!我真的不想在这个后面出场啊Ireallyw
15、ouldntwanttofollowthat.Ann呢Ann?哦天呃.Oh,boy.Um.我想给每个人做点玉米穗娃娃Iwasmakingsomecornhuskdollsforeveryone但他们做出来很奇怪看起来像怪物buttheykindaturnedoutwrongsotheylooklikemonsters.对不起msorry.我就把它们放到这边了mjustgonnaputthatoverthere.扔火里Inthefire.嗯Ann让我们保持温暖Well,Annskeepinguswarm.那也很重要Andthatsimportant.AprilApril?*你的工艺品是什么*JW
16、hatwasyourcraft?J我在手臂上画了点东西Idrewsomethingonmyarm.是一个开拓者女孩看着她的奶奶被一头水牛踩死Itsapioneergirlwatchinghergrandmothergettrampledbyabuffalo.是的这里这些是从脸上溅出来的血Yeah.Thisrightheresallthebloodcomingoutherface.DJ钝大驾光临DJBluntzisinthebuilding,在这里宣布TomHaverford大驾光临heretoannouncethatTomHaverfordisinthebuilding.哦一二一二Oh!1-2
17、,1-2!Donna联♥通♥-T-移♥动♥Donatella.-T-mobile.送你四个字Threewordsforyou:款待自己Treat.Yo.Self.*2011款待自己*JTreatyourself2011.Jv每年一次DOnna和我有一天要款待自己Onceayear,DonnaandIspendadaytreatingourselves.我们款待自己点什么呢Whatdowetreatourselvesto?衣服-款待自己Clothes.-Treatyourself.香水款待自己Fragrances.-Treatyoursel
18、f按♥摩♥-款待自己Massages.-Treatyourself.鸡尾酒-款待自己Mimosas.-Treatyourself好皮具-款待自己Fineleathergoods.-Treatyourself!这是一年中最好的一天It,sthebestdayoftheyear.*一年最好的一天*JThebestdayoftheyearJ我有个问题Igotaquestion.嗯哼Mm-hmm?你觉得邀请Ben今天和我们一起怎么样WhatdoyouthinkaboutinvitingBentocomealongwithustoday?什么不What?Noo!这是我们的事情
19、啊Thisisourthing.但他看起来真的得休息一天了Buthereallyseemslikehecoulduseadayoff.他就像是个瘦弱的小橡皮筋Heslikeaskinnylittlerubberband马上就要断掉了thatsabouttosnapinhalf.正确啊他不知道该怎么休息Exactly.Hedoesntknowhowtorelax.Donna你和我是休息的专家Donna,youandIarerelaxationprofessionals.Ben没有办法慢下来跟上我们的速度的TheresnowayBencanslowdownenoughtokeepupwithus.
20、我的努比亚公主这是我们神圣的一天MyNubianprincess,thisisourholyday.这是一年中我唯一允许自己自私的一天It,stheonedayayearIallowmyselftobeselfish.哦纸杯蛋糕谀Ooh,cupcakes.那都是给我的JerryThoseareallforme,Jerry.这个自♥制♥烤肉太好吃了KaylaThishomemadebulgogiissodelicious,Kayla.这是我吃过最好的韩式料理ThisisthebestKoreanfoodveeverhad.我想说几乎好到和Iwouldsayitsalm
21、ostasgoodas罐头里微温的豆子一样lukewarmbeansfromacan.对吧RonRight,Ron?我在试着教男孩子们安排食物供应mtryingtoteachmyboysaboutrationingfood,而你们这自我纵容的异域美食街帮不上忙andyourself-indulgentethnicfoodcourtisnthelping.女神们我们来复习一下下午的计划Goddesses,letsgooverourscheduleforthisafternoon.我们有远足夺旗子游戏Wehavehiking,andthencapturetheflag,以MileyCyrUS的(P
22、artyintheUSA)作为背景音乐关于权利法案的木偶秀andthenapuppetshowabouttheBillofRightssettoPartyintheUSAbyMileyCyrus,然后我们有套索训练andthenwehavelassotraining,和烤棉花糖大战andas,mores-off.那我们的计划里有什么呢SWanSon先生Sowhatsonourschedule,Mr.Swanson?我们只有一个活动安排Wehaveoneactivityplanned:别死掉Notgettingkilled.JerryJerry.哦所有人应该都去守林人周末了Oh,everybod
23、ymustbeatRangersweekend.你知道我实际上当过12年的守林人-Youknow,Iactuallywasarangerfor12years那太棒了Thatswonderful.或许你该休息一天Maybeyoushouldtakethedayoff.你知道休息是十分重要的Youknow,restisveryimportant.你知道被剥夺休息的小白鼠Didyouknowthatlabratswhoaredeprivedofrest全身都会长满肿瘤吗growtumorsallovertheirbodies?你该Google一下很可怕的YoushouldGoogleit.Itsho
24、rrifying.呃谢谢我会的Uh,thankyou.Yes.你知道我会一Youknow,mgonna我会和我的女儿一起吃午饭mgonnagohavelunchwithmydaughter.你知道Chris如果你乐意Youknow,Chris,ifyouwanted,你知道你该跟我们一起吃youknow,youshouldjoinusforlunch.我的女儿真的很温柔的Mydaughter,shesreallysweet.我很想去Jerry但我恐怕会很忙Iwouldloveto,Jerry,butmafraidthatIambusy.我得走了Ihavegottorun.Google那些老鼠肿
25、瘤Googlethoserattumors!*2011款待自己*JTreatyourself2011.Jv哦神啊Oh,lord.他在喝汤吗Isheeatingsoup?长椅上一个人Onabench?Alone?TomTom.好吧Fine.来吧橡皮筋跟我们来Comeon,rubberband.Comewithus.啥你们在一What?Whatareyou-别吵架Noarguing.我的奔驰里严禁喝汤AndnosoupintheBenz.进去一啥Getin.-Wha?什么What?现在发生什么了Whatishappeningrightnow?枕头大战很棒女孩们Greatpillowfight,gi
26、rls.那是我们最棒的一场了Thatwasoneofourbestonesyet.好的现在是颁奖时刻Okay.Nowit,stimeforawards.1.ulu得到金枕头1.ulugetsthegoldenpillow.银枕头颁给JanieAndthesilverpillowgoestoJanie.哦Ooh!在有什么事呢Yes,whatisit?Knope女士Ms.Knopez我不喜欢守林人了IdontliketheRangersanymore.我想成为Pawnee女神IwanttobecomeaPawneeGoddess.我做到了1didit!我的俱乐部正式成为最好的了Myclubisof
27、ficiallythebestclub.我想给自己一个功绩勋章写着Iwouldgivemyselfameritbadgethatsays”最佳俱乐部创始人”但我没有BestClubFounder/1butIdon,thaveone,所以我给自己“最美眼睛”占个位somgoingtogivemyselfPrettiesteyesasaplaceholder.我私下也一直想要这个徽章Isecretlyalwayswantedthisbadge,所以一切都很顺利了soitworksoutgreat.你是在叛变吗Youweredefecting?我喜欢你Swanson先生只是Ilikeyou,Mr.S
28、wanson,itsjust.我们做的只有安静地坐着吃豆子Allwedoissitinsilenceandeatbeans.豆子可是奖励Thosebeanswereareward.嗯你看情况是这个俱乐部仅限女孩子Well,see,thethingisthisclubisforgirlsonly.可能你应该发起你自己的俱乐部给男孩子们Maybeyoushouldstartyourownclub,forboys.回到你的帆布盒子里Getbacktoyourcanvasbox.我们不再讨论此事了We,lldiscussthisnofurther.我谢谢你平息了喧闹这样我的男孩子们能专注于孤独AndI
29、Ithankyoutokeeptheruckusdownsomyboyscanfocusonsolitude.对不起了Darren-我们走msorry,Darren.-Letsgo.所以款待自己日就是先去水疗再去商场的一天吗So,treatyourselfdayisjustadaywhereyougotothespaandthenthemall?我知道你理解不了的Iknewyouwouldntgetit.嗯我是个休息新人Well,marelaxationnovice.给我点指引吧Givemesomeguidance.听我说Ben当盒1.istentome,Ben-tobox,这一切的关键是纵容
30、你自己thepointofthisistopamperyourself.就休息咦咦啊朋友Justrelaaax,man.我做不到Icant.反正竖琴的声音就是会让我紧张Somethingaboutthesoundofharpsthatmakesmenervous.哦我的天哪Oh,myGod!嗨Donna-嘿Hi,Donna.-Hey.休息课程第一课Relaxationlessonnumberone:针灸Acupuncture.对你的后背和屁♥股♥都好Itsgreatforyourback,andyourrear.针在脸上乐在身上Needlesinyourface,p
31、leasureinyourbase.我知道那是我老板Iknow.-Thatsmyboss.嘿ChrisHey,Chris.呃我想让你见见我的女儿MiIlicentUh,Iwouldlikeyoutomeetmydaughter,Millicent.哇Wow.)erry干得漂亮啊Jerry,greatjob.我是你♥爸♥的老板myourdadsboss.也是他年轻很多的朋友Andhismuch-youngerfriend.很高兴见到你Pleasuretomeetyou.她不美丽吗Isntshebeautiful?我说她长得像我的老婆GayleIsayshelooksl
32、ikemywife,Gayle,Gayle也同意andGayleagrees.所以无论如何我们要回去吃午饭r所以-So,anyway,weweregonnagotolunch,so-我现在接受你原来的邀请Iretroactivelyacceptyouroriginaloffer.我们走1.etsgo!女士们我只想感谢你们在我送走Darren时没有欢呼1.adies,IjustwantedtothankyoufornotcheeringwhenIsentDarrenaway.Knope女士Darren要求的不就是Ms.Knope,wasntDarrenjustasking和五年前你和女神们想要的
33、一样的平等吗forthesameequalitythatyouandthegoddesseswantedfiveyearsago?某种意义上是的Inasense,但这比那更复杂一点点butitsalittlebitmorecomplicatedthan-你的答案不就是守林人理事会曾经跟你说的吗Wasntyouranswertheverysamethingthattherangercouncilsaidtoyou?”跟你的同类起”Sticktoyourownkind?谁想来点自♥制♥花生糖啊Whowantshomemadepeanutbrittle?Perkins小姐
34、拜托我们正在辩论呢Ms.Perkins,please,wereinthemiddleofadebate.抱歉Sorry.别啊女神们Comeon,goddesses.我们刚刚因为证明自己比他们强而给平等来了一次重击啊Wejuststruckahugeblowforequalitybyprovingthatwewerebetterthanthem.我不同意1disagree.开个公共论♥坛♥如何Whataboutapublicforum?你总是说对于热点议题来说Youalwayssaythattheresnobettersolutionforahot-buttoniss
35、ue没有比老武的公共论♥坛♥更好的了thanagoodo-fashionedpublicforum.好主意啊LaurenGreatidea,Lauren.你说啥呢Whatwasthat?我说”好主意啊LaurenIsaid,greatidea,Lauren.我把她们教得太好了vetaughtthemtoowell.我制♥造♥了一群由小小LeSlieKnope妖怪组成的暴民IvecreatedamoboflittleLeslieKnopemonsters.我太骄傲了msoproud.也有点烦Andalittleannoyed.但主要还是骄傲
36、Butmostlyproud.七三开吧70/30.就放松然后别动好啊Justrelaxanddontmove.-Okay.Ah.这是我Thisisthemost今生压力最大stressed-outveeverbeen的时候了inmylife.Ben听着Ben,listen.我要跟你聊聊你喜欢的事情mgonnatalktoyouaboutthingsyoulike从针上转移你的注意力好吗totakeyourmindofftheneedles,okay?会计Accounting.三角学Trigonometry.邮票可能吧Stamps,probably.我更是个收集罕见钱币的人Moreofarare
37、coinsguy.救我救我啊Helpme.Helpme!我最喜欢的就是为慈善长跑了ThereisnothingthatIlikemorethanrunningforcharity.你知道去年夏天我参加了为红十字会的50公里骑行Youknow,lastsummerIdida50-milebikeridefortheredcross.她确实参加了Yes,shedid.MillicentGergichMillicentGergich,慈善骑行真的bikingforcharityisliterally是我Facebook上的爱好之一oneofmyinterestsonFacebook.我不敢相信我们有
38、多相像Icantbelievehowalikeweare.我知道就像我们真的是同一个人Iknow,it,slikewe,reliterallythesameperson.我们有一个美妙瞬间了Wearehavingamoment.注意了所有人Attention,everyone.欢迎来到奇妙周末的首次公共论♥坛♥Welcometowonderweekendsfirst-everpublicforum.我们今天的话题Ourtopictoday?令人惊异的女神们应该怜悯曾经强大的Pawnee守林人们Shouldtheamazinggoddessestakepityonth
39、eonce-powerfulPawneeRangers,让他们进入我们明显更优越的组织吗andletthemintoourclearlysuperiororganization?ROn你的开场陈词Ron,youropeningstatement.这个论♥坛♥就像所有公共论♥坛♥一样是浪费时间Thisforum,likeallpublicforums,isawasteoftime.谢谢Thankyou.很有力的东西Powerfulstuff.好的我们开始自♥由♥辩论吧Okay.Letsopenupthefloor
40、todebate.谁-好的AbigailWho-yes,Abigail.1954年终止了公立学校中的种族隔离推♥翻♥了”隔离但平等”的原则这不就是布朗诉托皮卡教育局案吗IsntitlikeBrownvs.TheBoardofEducation?隔离但平等永远不是真正的平等Separatebutequalisneverreallyequal.我们应该让男孩子们来Weshouldlettheboysin.嗯有意思CaSeyMmm,interesting.Casey?我不同意Idisagree.我觉得教育时分开性别是有益的Ithinktheresabenefittoedu
41、catingthegendersseparately.我懂你的想法Iseewhereyourecomingfrom.我们来听听守林员怎么说1.etshearfromaranger.谁DarrenAnyone?Darren?外面又冷又脏Itscoldanddirtyouthere.而你们有糖Andyouguyshavecandy.我想吃糖Iwantthecandy.女神们做出了一些博识的陈述Thegoddessesaremakingsomewell-informedstatements,但最引人注目的一点来自DaiTen说的是糖butthemostcompellingpointisfromDar
42、ren,aboutthecandy.我们确实有很棒的糖Wehaveamazingcandyinthere.欢迎来到涅槃WelcometoNirvana,Eagleton的购物中心thePlazaatEagleton.外面有一个石砌水池Theresareflectingpooloutback,商场里有一趟老式穿梭火车theresanold-timeytrainthatrunsthroughthemall,还有三家BurberryandthreeBurberrys.如果你跟朋友说嘿我们Burberry见”Ifyoutellyourfriend,hey,meetmeatBurberry,你还得说具体
43、是哪一家theygottaspecifywhichone.我们走Letshitit.我真想要这条裙子Ireallywantthisdress,我喜欢这个水晶甲虫and1likethiscrystalbeetle,但它很贵也毫无用处butitsexpensiveandtheresnouseforitDonnaMeagleDonnaMeagle?款待自己Treatyourself.天鹅绒拖鞋鞋山羊绒袜子Velvetslippies,cashmeresocks,天鹅绒裤子山羊绒高领velvetpants,cashmereturtle.我是个山羊天鹅绒拐棍糖macashmere-velvetcandy
44、cane.款待自己Treatyourself.我觉得这是疯了吧Imean,thisisinsane.Jerry聊两句Jerry,aword?当然Ofcourse.午饭吃得很开心Ihadanamazinglunch.我吃下的甘蓝已经排出去了vealreadypassedthekalesaladIhad.但更好的是But,evenbetter?你女儿的陪伴真的令人愉快Yourdaughterwasdelightfulcompany.现在我不想把你放在一个尴尬的位置但-Now,Idontwanttoputyouinanawkwardposition,but你想和我的女儿约会Youwouldliket
45、odatemydaughter.是的但你是父亲Yes!Butyouareherfather.那是很神圣的Andthatisasacredthing.我想跟你共度接下来的2到4天Iwouldliketospendthenext2to4dayswithyou所以你能更了解我soyoucangettoknowmebetter,来确认我有没有好到能配上你女儿tofindoutifmthekindofpersonwhosgoodenoughforyourdaughter.然后你在前3到6次约会时加入我们-Then,youcancomewithusonourfirst3to6dates-Chris我欣赏你的举措C
