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1、嘿我没找到那篇你教老年人性教育的文章Hey.Ididntfindthearticleaboutyouteachingsex-edtoseniors,但我找到了这个标着“老年性教育感谢便条”的文件夹butIdidfindthisfolderlabeledSeniorsex-edthankyounotes.哦别打开里面有照片Oh,dontopenthat.There,spicturesinthere.哦真的有照片Oh!Therearepictures.有好多照片啊Therearelotsofpictures.你为啥没扔掉或者烧成灰啊Whywouldyounotthrowtheseawayorinc
2、ineratethem?因为所有的记忆都值得被记进编年史Becauseeverymemorydeservestobechronicled.即使是下垂的Eventhesaggyones.我在整理一本剪贴簿Iamputtingtogetherascrapbook纪念我在市议会的第一年commemoratingmyfirstyearonthecitycouncil.今年的时光飞驰得太快,Thisyearwhizzedbysofast.还有太多我想做的事情了TherewassomuchmoreIwantedtodo.但时间对专注的人♥民♥公仆来说是无情而残忍♥
3、的敌人Buttimeistherelentlessandcruelenemyofthedevotedcivilservant.实际上是我剪贴簿副标题中的一个It,sactuallyoneofthesub-titlesofmyscrapbook.1.eslieKnope市议员第一年一本回忆的剪贴簿旅程开始或时间对专注的人♥民♥公仆来说是无情而残忍♥的敌人可能可以多完成点事情吧ProbablywouldvegotmoreStuffdone要是没花那么多时间头脑风暴剪贴簿标题的话ifIhadntspentsomuchtimebrainstormingscra
4、pbooktitles.Ben和Leslie的休息日我们去放松BenandLesliesdayoff.Letsgorelax.等不及开始我们的休息了Icannotwaitforourdayoff.但如果我们再多干一天Butwhatifwetookadayon呆在这然后搞点项目呢andstayedhereandworkedonsomeprojects?听起来挺性感的对吧-不Thatsoundsprettysexy,right?-No.1.eslie你一直不停工作假日和周末也是1.eslie,youveworkednonstop.Holidaysandweekends.你就只是休一天而已会对你有好
5、处的YourejustgonnatakeadayoffItllbegoodforyou.好吧你很可爱你也是对的Allright.Yourecute.Andyoureright.来吧-我们放松Comeon.-Letsrelax.嘿APriIHey,April.我接下来的19个半小时都不在llbegoneforthenext191/2hours,所以你能给我办公室里的植物浇水吗socanyouwatermyplantsinmyoffice?实际上我们都停水了Wearealloutofwater,actually.我只能用滚烫的热牛奶了llhavetouseboilinghotmilk.你真要那么做
6、吗是的Areyoureallygonnadothat?-Yes.嗯各位呃哇Well,everybody.Um,wow.和你们所有人共事是我的荣幸和快乐Ithasbeenanhonorandapleasuretoworkwithyouall.我在公园娱乐部度过的时间Thetime1havespentatParksandRec是我在政♥府♥这的工作中最开心的日子havebeenthehappiestdaysofmylifehereinthegovernment.我知道所有人都这么说我真心希望我们能保持联♥系♥AndIknoweveryones
7、aysit,butIsincerelyhopethatwestayintouch.现在他妈发生了啥啊Whatthefuckishappeningrightnow?今天是我的最后一天了LeSIieToday,smylastday,Leslie.我要退休了mretiring.啥你为啥没告诉我们啊What?Whydidntyoutellus?嗯我不想小题大做Well,Ididn,twanttomakeabigfuss.虽然天啊我很肯定我提到过几次Although,gosh,mprettysureImentioneditafewtimes.S02E23TheMasterPlan2年前哦天他们要开始开人
8、了对吧Oh,God.They,regoingtofirepeople,arentthey?我只有两年就能拿到养老金了Yeah,Iamtwoyearsfrommypension.6个月前你敢相信吗Canyoubelieveit?离我退休只有六个月了OnlysixmonthsleftuntilIretire.哦Ooh.Jerry说了啥WhatdidJerrysay?Jerry来过啊)errywashere?一周前嗯这是我最后一“邹了哎口育Well,thisismylastweep.Oops.我是说“邹Imean,weep.“周”Week.哎呀Jeez.等等等等等等等就等等Wait,wait,wai
9、t,wait,wait,wait,wait,)ustwait.所有人等等好吧Everybodywait.Okay.虽然我们很想让这事儿发生Asmuchaswewantthistohappen,我们不能让Jerry就此消失啊wecantletJerryjustdisappear.我们总得怎么纪念一下Wehavetocommemoratethissomehow.说得没错Youreright.JeITy感谢你的付出Jerry,thankyouforyourservice.再见Good-bye.谢了ROn那段演讲意义重大Thanks,Ron.Thatspeechmeansalot.好吧嗯我要走了和其他
10、老乡们告别Okay,well,Iamgoingtogoandsaygood-byetosomeotherfolks.好明天见了JerryOkay,seeyoutomorrow,Jerry.公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第20集第5季第20集所以我们做完了你们所有的检查切看起来都很棒SoWeranallyourtests,andeverythinglooksgreat.你可能是我们见过最健康的人类了Youmightbethehealthiesthumanbeingweveeverseen.你的静息心率和百岁的乌龟祥Youhavetherestingheartrateofa100-year-oldto
11、rtoise.是的我经常听到这句Yes,Igetthatalot.所以我童年的疾病-Somychildhoodillness-不可能传下去吧there,snochance1wouldpassthaton?不是基因疾病所以你完全不用担心Itwasn,tgenetic,soyoushouldntworryatall.你完全有理由期待一个健康的孩子Youhaveeveryreasontoexpectahealthychild.实际上如果你想你今天就可以提供样本Infact,ifyoudlike,youcanprovideyoursampletoday.今天吗Today?就今天的今天1.ike,tod
12、ay,today?这个今天-嗯是的Thistoday?-Well,yes.我是说根据Ann的排卵日程表时间没问题Imean,thetimingisrightaccordingtoAnnsovulationschedule.除非有你必须等到下个月的理由Unlesstheresareasonyoudliketowaittillnextmonth.不No.没有None.另一个问题Oneotherquestion.完全不相关的Completelyofftopic.我提供样本的日子是WouldIbeprovidingthissample.今天吗today?我还在这里想着在市议会的第一年过得有多快Here
13、Iamthinkingabouthowfastmyfirstyearincitycouncilhasgone,而Jerry已经被40年擦身而过而没有能展示的成就了andJerryhashad40yearswhizpasthimwithnothingtoshowforit.这是他档案里所有的东西-Thisiseverythinginhisfile-一张他得痛风的时候用的残疾人停车位贴纸ahandicappedparkingstickerfromwhenhegotgout,一次公园娱乐高尔夫车驾驶考试aParksandRecgolfcartdrivingexam他还没过whichhefailed,
14、一篇严厉的业绩审查ascathingperformancereview.我是说为啥会有人这久刻薄啊Imean,whywouldanyonebesomean?哦等等是我写的Oh,wait.Iwrotethis.我坚持这个结论Istandbyit.嗯Jerry真不是那种高于或者等于平庸的人Well,Jerrywasneverreallythetypetoriseabovemediocrityortoit.我也是这么想的啊但他开始的时候ThatswhatIthought,butwhenhestarted,他也有很多梦想和目标的啊hehadalotofdreamsandgoals.我是说看看他原来的人
15、职表格Imean,lookathisoriginalentrypaperwork.他想见到市长Hewantedtomeetthemayor,有一栋以他命名的楼haveabuildingnamedafterhim.我就不能让Jerry一无所有地回家回到空虚的生活IjustcantIetJerryleaveherewithnothingandgohometoanemptylife.嗯任何事我都可以帮忙Well,llhelpwithanything.就保证我们做快点Justpromisewelldoitquickly.我要做个通心粉奶酪披萨-mmakingusamacandcheesepizzafo
16、r-通心粉奶酪披萨吗-是啊Macandcheesepizza?-Yeah.你要做那个啊是啊Youremakingthat?-Yeah.折磨Jerry是我在世界上最喜欢的事了TorturingJerrywasmyfavoritethingintheworld.除了跟你亲热之外Aftermakingoutwithyou.记得我们同时做这两件事吗Rememberwhenwedidbothatthesametime?真是让他不舒服啊Itmadehimsouncomfortable.这是悲伤的一天Thisisasadday.我们现在要开谁的玩笑了呢Whoarewegonnamakefunofnow?不用
17、担心Noneedtoworry.我工作过的福一个地方都有过一个Jerry”Everyplaceveeverworkedinhashada,jerry.当一个JeiTy离开时WhenoneJerryleaves,办公室会自然选择个新的Jerry来填补空缺theofficenaturallyselectsanewJerrytofillthatrole.这是社会达尔文主义It,sSocialDarwinism.强者捕食弱者Thestrongpreyontheweak.很快你们中的一位会被无情地嘲弄Soon,oneofyouwillberidiculedmercilessly.啊自然Ah,nature
18、.好的我的调任批准了Okay.Mytransferwasapproved.所以现在开始我是郡卫生局的一位雇员Sostartingnow,IamanemployeeoftheCountyHealthBoard.你不再是我的老板Youarenolongermyboss,我们可以在没有利益冲突的情况下生个孩子了andwecanhaveababywithoutbeingaconflictofinterest.一帆风顺Clearsailing.再见AnnPerkins我的优秀员工Goodbye,AnnPerkins,myexcellentemployee.你好AnnPerkins我的输卵公主Hello,
19、AnnPerkins,myfallopianprincess.是这么来的Sohere,sthedrill.存到这里面Makeadepositinhere.如果你能装满你就能上榜Ifyoufillitupalltheway,yougetontheboard.然后我们提取样本在离心机里旋转Thenwetakethesample,spinitinthecentrifuge,准备受精andprepareitforfertilization.听起来挺浪漫Soundsromantic.我想是上的时候了Iguessitsgotime.上吧Gotime!等等我在干嘛我又不跟你进去WaiwhatamIdoing
20、?Idontgowithyou.哦不不我自己进去Oh,no,no.Igoinalone和这张色情影碟一起自己搞定withthispornographicdiscanddoitmyself而你呆在外面试着不要想我在里面做什么Andyoustayouthereandtrynottothinkaboutwhatmdoinginthere.而我试着不要想你在外面等着试着不要想我AndItrynottothinkaboutyouwaitingoutheretryingnottothinkaboutme.我应该想到你吗ShouldIthinkaboutyou?这也太奇怪了Thisissoweird.Chr
21、is我们没必要今天就做这个的Chris,wedonthavetodothistoday.这一切都发生得太突然了Thiswastotallyjustsprungonus.我们就花点时间1.etsjusttakeamoment.还有那么多小册子需要看呢Theressomanypamphletstolookat.是的我们确实有很重要的小册子阅读需要做Yes,wedohaveveryimportantpamphletreadingtodo.极好的主意AnnPerkinsExcellentidea,AnnPerkins.我要留着这个吗DoIkeepthis?我不知道感觉留在这也不对1dontknow.I
22、tfeelswrongtoleaveithere.给我吧Giveittome.我慌了跑Ipanicked.Run!这是动物管理部最后的报告HerearethelastoftheAnimalControlreports.你在干啥啊怪人Whatareyoudoing,weirdo?就试着不要弄洒什么Justtryingnottospillanything.我记得Leslie说是按年整理这些IbelieveLesliesaidtoorganizethesebyyear.早就想到了Wayaheadofyou.我理了两件文堆Imadetwopilefiles.两届文端呃文界两届Pilofibles.Ug
23、h.Filopilos.文界两届吗不对吧Filopilos?Thatsnotright.你坏掉了吗-不一切都好Areyoubroken?-No,everythingsfine.嗯我想那就确定新的Jerry是谁了Well,IguessthatsettleswhothenewJerryis.不没有我甚至几乎没说错啊No,itdoesnt!Ibarelyevensaiditwrong.说错啊-停下Saiditwrong.-Stopit!就是这公开始的Thisishowitbegins.下一个JerryThenextJerry一句话搞砸然后30年后Onescrewed-upsentence,and30
24、yearslater,我就穿着海蓝色的毛衣mwearingaquamarinesweatervestsBonnieRaitt布鲁斯吉他大♥师♥在我的iPod上听着BonnieRaitt和达芬奇密♥码♥andlisteningtoBonnieRaittandThedaVinciCodeonmyiPod.已经开始了啊Itsalreadystarted.信不信由你Jerry你也曾年轻过Believeitornot,Jerry,youwereyoungonce.年轻而怀抱梦想Youngandfullofdreams.我都忘了我写了这些啊Iforg
25、ot1wroteallthis.虽然这些目标既不现实又荒唐Andasunrealisticandabsurdasthosegoalswere,直到我们帮你实现之前我们是不会让你退休的Wearenotlettingyouretireuntilwehelpyouachievethem.所以我们来看看第一条是什么Soletsseewhat,sfirst.”在市议会内部餐厅吃饭”Eatincitycouncilprivatediningroom.1这我们能做到啊Thatwecanachieve.就现在Rightnow?当然我们走Sure.Letsgo.仅供授权人士进入Authorizedpersonn
26、elonly.哦他们和我一起的Oh,theyrewithme.市议员LeslieKnope四级许可CityCouncilorLeslieKnope,clearancelevelfour.访客只在周三允许GuestsareonlyallowedonWednesdays.我们也没有许可级别Andwedonthaveclearancelevels.我知道但不该有吗1know,butshouldntwe?我觉得听起来太酷了Imean,itsoundssocool.无论如何我们只需要稍微进去一下Anyway,wejustneedtogetinthererealquick然后可能拍个照andmaybeta
27、keapicture.他作为市政厅雇员工作了41年之后退休了HesretiringasaCityHallemployeeafter41years,而他的梦想是在这里吃饭anditwashisdreamtoeathere.他的梦想吗真的吗Hisdream?Really?还是不行没事的Leslie来吧Stillno.-Itsokay,Leslie.Comeon.但谢谢了谢谢你试过Butthankyou.Thankyoufortrying.不不不不不我向你保证过了No,no,no,no,no.Ipromisedyou一顿行政餐你也会吃到的anexecutivemealandyouregonnaget
28、one.Ben就-好吧Ben,just-okay.我就进去和Jerry拍张照mgonnagointhereandtakeapicturewithJerry.我用胳膊环绕空气Iputmyarmaroundnothing.然后你后面把他PS上去行吧AndthenyouPhotoshophiminlater,okay?祝贺您退休啊Congratulationsonyourretirement.喔谢谢了Awthankyou.137259One,three,seven,two,five,nine.噗Pffft!数独太简单了Sudokuiseasy.这游戏真的有规则吗Isthereevenrulestot
29、hisgame?Jerry悲惨难闻的皇冠有一个自然的继任者TheresanaturalsuccessortoJerryssad,smellycrown.而那不是我是AndyAnditsnotme.IfsAndy.大家伙是的Bigguy?Check.愚蠢是的Goofy?Check.我要做的只是等到一次教科书的Dwyer搞砸AllIhavetodoiswaitforatextbookDwyerscrew-up,通常的发生频率是嗯每20分钟whichusuallyhappens,mm,every20minutes.嘿这不是文界两届吗Hey,ifitisntFiloPilo.哦真有创意呢DonnaOh
30、,realcreative,Donna.你指望那个名字能流传吗Youexpectthattocatchon?宝那根笔Babe,thepen.看看Andy啊他全身都是墨水1.ookatAndy.Theresinkalloverhim.Andy就是新Jerry了AndysthenewJerry.游戏结束了Gameover.好棒哦Awesome.嘿我就像是个巨型就鱼Hey,Imlikeagiantsquid.嘿亲爱的我是墨水吸血鬼-别停下Hey,honey,minkDracula.-No,stop.就鱼吸血鬼要来抓你啦SquidDraculaisgoingtogetyou.盯错人了文界Barking
31、upthewrongtree,Filo.你什么意思Whatdoyoumean?Andy永远不能成为新Jerry的AndywillneverbethenewJerry.没什么能让他尴尬Nothingembarrasseshim.他就像是只没有羞耻的巨大狗狗He,slikeagiantpuppywithnoshame.你需要的是办公室进来点小鲜肉Whatyouneedissomefreshmeatintheoffice.或者你们就别继续开我玩笑了Oryouguyscouldjuststopmakingfunofme.是哦不Yeah.No.好吧继续下一个Jeny目标-Okay,ontothenext
32、Jerrygoal-和Knudson市长见面meetMayorKnudson.哦是啊他那时还是市长呢Oh,yeah.Hewasthemayoratthetime.我一直想见到他来着Ivealwayswantedtomeethim.嗯今天你就有机会了Well,todayyouregettingthatchance.所以他曾经是个很好的市长吗不真不是Sowashelikeareallygreatmayor?-No,notreally.他因为腐♥败♥和诈骗辞职了Heresignedbecauseofcorruptionandracketeering,然后因为药物过量去世了
33、andthenhediedfromanoverdoseofpills.但实际上他的真正死因Butactuallyhisrealcauseofdeath是被铐着双手从直升飞机里扔了出去wasbeingthrownoutofahelicopterwhilehandcuffed.有些人说他还活着Somepeoplesayhe,sstillalive市长遭遇可怕死亡因为他们从没找到尸体becausetheyneverfoundthebody,但他们没找到尸体是因为他撞击地面的时候爆♥炸♥了buttheyneverfoundthebodybecauseheexplodedon
34、impact.听起来是个好哥们-是啊Soundslikeagooddude.-Yeah.我就希望能有机会见到他IjustwishIhadachancetomeethim,你知道好多年前在所有这些丑闻和他去世之前youknow,yearsagobeforeallthescandalsandhisdeath.但这也很好Butthisisnicetoo.是啊是吗Yeah.-Isit?是的-嗯哼Yes.-Mm-hmm.是的Itis.好吧过去吧Okay,gooverthere.我们来见Knudson市,长1.etsmeetMayorKnudson.我来给你拍照lltakeyourpicture.七上八下
35、啊Butterflies.你好市长先生HelIo,Mr.Mayor.首先我太抱歉Firstofall,msosorry那些那些塞尔维亚暴徒把你推下那架直升机thatthoseSerbianmobstersshovedyououtofthathelicopter.你值得更好的Youdeservebetter.好吧你试过了但我休息一天Okay,youtried,butItookadayoff是和你一起过的不是和你跟JeITy还有一个死市长tospendwithyou,notwithyouandJerryandadeadmayor.拜托我们能结束了吗Canwepleasejustcallitaday
36、?不我们不能因为在短短几年之后No,Wecantbecauseinafewshortyears,我们会在这里拜访Jerryweregonnabevisiting)erryhere,而他还是会一事无成andhewillhaveachievednothing.那是你想要的吗Isthatwhatyouwant?不-那好吧No.-Okay,then.能见到你真的很好It,sreallybeennicetomeetyou.好了Jerry我们走Okay,Jerry,letsgo.虚荣的篝火汤姆汉克斯1990年主演电影虚Ron的篝火Ronfireofthevanities.文界两届FiloPilo.你开玩笑
37、吗Areyoukiddingme?听着现在Jerry走了1.isten,nowthatJerrysgone,我们需要雇个人来把活干了weneedtohiresomeonetopickuptheslack.办公室里的新人吗Anewpersonintheoffice?不是人是实习生Notaperson.Anintern.我到底为啥要招实习生啊WhyonearthwouldIgetanintern?实习生不花纳税人一分钱Internscostnothingtothetaxpayer.更重要的是Andmoreimportantly,他们通常都愚蠢而糟糕theyreusuallystupidandter
38、rible.所以他们什么活也干不成Sotheygetnoworkdone.就像是个不用付钱的JerryIt,slikeaJerryyoudonthavetopay.该死孩子那可是条令人信服的理由啊Damn,son.Thatisonecompellingargument.继续努力吧文界Keepitup,Filo.终有一天我们能摧毁这个政♥府♥的Wemaydestroythisgovernmentonedayafterall.这些小册子也太迷人了Thesepamphletsarefascinating.这里说有些男性会增长“同情体重”Itsaysherethatsome
39、mengainsympathyweight因为他们的伴侣怀孕whentheirpartnersgetpregnant.如果发生在我身上我会很悲惨的Ifthathappenstome,dbemiserable.但开心Buthappy.但难过Butsad.我永远想不到造宝宝的过程有这么临床Iwouldhaveneverimaginedthebaby-makingprocesstobethisclinical.我是说想象一下如果真实性♥爱♥是这样的Imean,imagineifactualsexwerelikethis.让我移除我的衣物1.etmeremovemyclot
40、hes所以我们可以开始参与身体活动sowemaybegintoengageinphysicalactivity来繁衍我们的基因tomultiplyourgenes.而这也挺奇怪的因为我们约会过Anditsalsoweirdbecausewedated我们也记得是什么感觉曾经参与过这些andwerememberwhatitsliketoengageinsomeofthose身体活动正是physicalactivities.-Exactly.而且我们也挺擅长那些身体活动的AndWewerealsoprettygoodatthosephysicalactivities.是的我们是Yes,wewere
41、.是的我们是Yes,wewere.你知道这是所有的小册子吗Youknow,isthisallthepamphlets?因为我觉得可能CauseIthinkthatmaybe我有些Ihavesome放在我卧室了leftinmybedroom.哦嗯那Oh,well,then,我们当然要去找那些weshoulddefinitelygolookforthose.我们去找那些-我们需要找那些1.etsfindthose.-Weneedtofindthose.赶紧Hurry.好的所有人集♥合♥一下Okay,everyonegatheraround.1.eSlie我真的很感激1.
42、eslie,Ireallyappreciatethis,但我确实保证Gayle我5点就走的butIdidpromiseGayleIwouldleaveby5:00.她有一个美味的惊喜等着我Shehasatastysurprisewaitingforme,你懂我意思的话ifyouknowwhatImean.恶心啊JerryGross,Jerry.她做了份肉卷Shemadeameatloaf.嗯这比肉卷可要好多了Well,thisisbetterthanmeatloaf.当Jerry开始应聘这份工作的时候WhenJerryfirstappliedforthisjob,他的目标之一就是有一栋以他命名
43、的大楼oneofthisgoalswastohaveabuildingnamedafterhim.强调一下那是个荒唐的请求Again,thatisanabsurdrequest考虑到你的工作记录consideringyourworkrecord.但我觉得或许可以有一个房♥间以他命名ButIthoughtmaybehecouldhavearoomnamedafterhim.所以此后公园娱乐部会议室Sohenceforth,ParksandRecconferenceroom将成为你多年公共服务的证明willserveasatestamenttoyouryearsofpublicser
44、vice.哦天啊说得好Oh,myGod.-Hear,hear.JerryGergich纪念会议室JerryGergichMemorialConferenceRoom.愿他安息R.I.P.?哦牌匾店的那个家伙以为你去世了Oh,theguyattheplaquestorethoughtyouhaddied.做得很匆忙所以我们没时间改掉了Itwasarushjob,sowedidnthavetimetochangeit.没关系我们就假装它的意思是“安静休息”Itdoesntmatter.Wecanjustpretenditmeansretireinpeace.是-是好Yeah.-Yeah,okay.
45、所以把蛋糕拿出来吧-哦Sobringoutthecake!-Oh.讲话讲话讲话Speech,speech,speech.嗯谢谢你们了Well,thankyou,guys.我不是擅长演讲的人mnotmuchofaspeechmaker,但我确实喜欢好蛋糕butIdolikegoodcake.呃你着火了Uh,youreonfire.哦Oh!哦天啊JeITyOh,myGod,Jerry!哇Whoa.嗯那差不多是我以为的顺利程度Well,thatwentroughlyaswellasIthoughtitwould.我保证Gayle了说5点走IpromisedGayledleaveat5:00.我想就是这样了Iguessthisisit.拜Bye.明天见JeremySeeyoutomorrow,Jeremy
