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1、Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Ted!Pawnee宪♥章♥第二章第二条规定ArticleTwo,SectionTwoofthePawneeCharterreads,”颁布法令若茶叶税升至无法接受的水平Beitdecreed:Shouldthetaxationoftearisetoanunacceptablelevel,茶叶倒市民应将Ted扔进Ramsett湖citizensshalldumpTedintoRamsettLake.有人反对吗Doesanyoneobject?和往常一样我反对Asalways,Io
2、bject.非也迟疑够了Nay,enoughdithering!扔掉那个异端呸Dumpthemiscreant!Boo!今天是Ted聚会日我们纪念1817年的Pawnee茶叶大倾倒TodayisTedPartyDay,wherewecommemoratethegreatPawneeteadumpof1817.有趣的历史事实-Historicalfunfact-当开镇元老们写宪&hearts漳♥的时候whentheFoundingFatherswrotethecharter,他们的老式字体把一个“a“写得像“dtheirold-timeyscriptmadeoneoftheaslo
3、oklikead,所以“茶叶变成了“Ted”soteabecameTed.这就是提醒我们Pawnee丰富活力过去的有趣小事之一It,sjustoneofthoselittlethingsthatremindsusofPawnee,srichandvibrantpast.此外我们还能找到一个叫Ted的家伙扔进湖里Plus,wegettogofindaguynamedTedandthrowhiminalake.One!我甚至都不用TedIdontevengobyTed!二我用的是TheodoreTwo!-1gobyTheodore!三啊Three!-Aah!公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第19集第5季
4、第19集嘿Ted今天干得漂亮啊Hey,Ted.Greatjobtoday.你也太好笑了Youweresofunny当时还说“我的手♥机♥我还放在兜里呢”whenyouwerelike,Mycellphone,Ileftitinmypocket.然后你看过了记得吗用不了了Thenyoucheckedit,remember,anditdidntwork.是啊挺好笑的Yeah,thatwashilarious.听着我来这就是要说我受够Ted聚会日了1.isten,IamjustheretosaythatIamdonewithTedPartyDay.哈经典Ted我认真的Ha
5、!ClassicTed.-mserious.我再不会被扔进那个湖里了mnotgettingdumpedinthatlakeanymore.而且我和镇上其他的Ted都聊过了他们也都不会做了And1talkedtotheotherTedsintown,andtheyrenotdoingiteither.别嘛Ted聚会日是受镇宪&hearts漳♥第二章保护的啊Comeon,TedPartyDayisprotectedbyArticleTwointhetowncharter.而且我们有权利非也有义务Andwehavetheright,nay,theobligation,每年将Ted倒进湖
6、里todumpTedintothelakeeveryyear.一直以来都是这样的啊Thatsthewayit,salwaysbeendone.好吧首先”一直以来都是这样”Okay,firstofall,Thatsthewayitsalwaysbeendone,不是一个一直做什么事的好理由isnotagoodreasontokeepdoingsomething.第二那是印刷错误啊他们的意思明显是“茶叶”Second,itwasamisprint.Theyclearlymeanttea.11我就觉得你需要小心揣测开镇元老们Ijustthinkyouneedtobecarefulaboutspecu
7、latingwhattheFoundersmeant在撰写镇宪♥章♥时的想法whentheywerewritingthetowncharter.好吧行Okay,fine.你想实行我们书上的每一条古老法规吗Youwanttoenforceeverysingleoldlawwehaveonourbooks?嘿我能看看你的车钥匙吗Hey,canIseeyourkeysforasecond?这是$25Here,saquarter.你的车现在是我的了Iownyourcarnow.啥一-不好意思Wha-Sorry.Pawnee宪♥章♥明确表示任何白人
8、公民ThePawneeCharterclearlystatesthatanywhitecitizen印第安人有权以$0.25的价格没收任何印度人的财产hastherighttoseizeanyIndianpropertyfor25cents.那是条过时和种族歧视的法律Thatisanoutdatedandracistlaw.而且很明显意思是“印第安人”AndobviouslytheymeantAmericanIndian.哇我觉得我们要小心地Whoa,Ithinkweshouldbecareful揣摩元老们写宪♥章♥时的意图啊whenwespeculatewhatt
9、heFoundersintendedwhentheywrotethecharter.好了Ted我明白你在干嘛了Okay,Ted.Iknowwhatyou,redoing.你在用我的话来反驳我Yourequotingmebacktome.但我还是要再用回我的话来说ButmgonnaquotemebacktoyouandsayTed聚会日永远不会变的thatTedPartyDaywillneverchange.啊哦Uh-oh.你一个女人刚刚提高了音量对一个拥有土地的男性说话You,awoman,justraisedyourvoicetoalandowningmale.根据一条1868年通过的Paw
10、nee法规AccordingtoaPawneestatutepassedin1868,我可以这么做Igettodothis.我没意识到有那条法规Iwasnotawareofthatstatute.ROn你得帮助我Ron,youhavetohelpme.Chris在逼我上一个愚蠢的管理培训领导课程Chrisismakingmedosomestupidmanagementtrainingleadershipcourse.4分钟前现在动物管理部门由你运转了NowthatyouruntheAnimalControlDepartment,你已有资格参加ChrisTraeger管理训练研讨会youhave
11、qualifiedfortheChrisTraegerManagementTrainingSeminar或者叫“CTMTS,orKa-tumts.不是个很好的缩写词但是个很好的研讨会Itsnotagreatacronym,butitisagreatseminar.你能解救我吗Canyougetmeoutofit?当然Yes.通常如果有选择做什么和什么也不做Normally,ifgivenachoicebetweendoingsomethingandnothing,我会选择不做dchoosetodonothing.但如果能帮助其他人什么也不做我愿意做点什么ButIwilldosomethingi
12、fithelpssomeoneelsedonothing.我能做一整晚dworkallnight如果这意味着什么也做不成ifitmeantnothinggotdone.RonSwanson和AprilLudgateRonSwansonandAprilLudgate,真的是编目宇宙里我最喜欢的两个人literallymytwofavoritepeopleinthecatalogueduniverse.April不会参加你无意义的课程Aprilwillnotbeparticipatinginyourpointlesscourse因为她有更重要的事情要做becauseshehasmoreimport
13、antthingstodo比如不参加你无意义的课程likenotparticipatinginyourpointlesscourse.我只是想让APril成为和你一样伟大的部门领导IjustwantApriltobecomeasgreatadepartmentheadasyourself.所以这才没有意义Whichiswhythisispointless.我当公园部领导12年了vebeenheadoftheParksdepartmentfor12years,我从没参加过什么“管理培训”课程andIneverhadanymanagementtrainingcourse.Ron你从没被”CTMTS
14、”过吗Ron,youveneverbeenka-tumtsed?法律上说我必须CTMTS每一位部门领导Iamlegallyrequiredtoka-tumtseverydepartmenthead.否则我们就会出现各种不利因素Otherwise,weareopentoallkindsOfliabiIity.你在说什么啊Whatareyousaying?我在说明天的研讨会上msayingthattomorrowduringtheseminar,April要有个同学了Aprilisgoingtohaveaclassmate.剧透预警-Andspoileralert-是Alf-是你itsAlf.-I
15、tsyou.这进展也太差了Thiswentpoorly.啥别啊该死What,no.Damnit!你在给啥竞标呢Whatareyoubiddingon?最好不要是TeITenCeHOWard在川流熙攘里的背心啊ItbetternotbeTerrenceHoward,stanktopfromHustle&Flow.不是的-很好Itisnot.-Good.因为我在竞标我准备好花的金额CauseIambiddingonitandIamreadytospendanamount已经被我的会计说是“危险而不负责”thatmyaccountantcallsDangerousandirresponsible.J
16、J餐厅把一个旧的华夫饼模具放上拍卖♥♥了)J,sdinerputanoldwaffleironupforauction.是我能给Leslie送的完美早餐日礼物ItstheperfectbreakfastdaygiftforLeslie.啥早餐日”Breakfastday?1.eSIie对所有事情都有纪念日1.esliehasanniversariesforeverything.“动物园日”我们第一次一起去动物园的日子Zooday/firsttimewewenttothezootogether.双重约会日”Doubledateday/1第一次我们去双重约会itwast
17、hefirsttimewewentonadoubledate.DanielDay-LewisFrDanielDay-Lewisday.“模仿海盗说话日”Talk-like-a-pirateday.”模仿匹兹堡海盗说话日”Talk-like-a-Pittsburgh-pirateday,就为啥怎么搞啊whichwhyandhow?这个日历是去年的日历日礼物Thiscalendarwaslastyearscalendardaypresent纪念第一次她给我买♥♥日历的日子celebratingthefirsttimesheeverboughtmeacalendar.你得
18、给这里的每一个都买♥♥礼物吗Youhavetobuyapresentforeveryoneofthese?她总是跟我说不要买♥♥然后她买♥♥的东西Shealwaystellsmenotto,butthenshebuysmesomething就会又绝妙又体贴然后我就觉得很糟糕,that,sawesomeandthoughtful,andthenIfeelterrible.但问题就在这这是个完美的礼物Butthatsthething.Thisistheperfectpresent.我就是一直被抬价被一个叫做Ijus
19、tkeepgettingoutbidbysomeonenamed”高的Ty-ri-onLannister*TallTie-ree-onLannister.Ty-ri-on是个什么鬼名字啊WhatkindofnameisTie-ree-onanyway?权力的游戏角色你开玩笑的吧TyrionLannisterYourekidding,right?TyrionLannister?凯岩城的领主“小恶魔”1.ordofCasterlyRock?TheHalf-Man?你不看权力的游戏是吧YoudontwatchGameofThrones?不啊你看啊当然啊No.Youdo?-Hellyeah.你看到那些
20、多斯拉克男的了吗HaveyouseenthoseDothrakidudes?他们能搞定Theycangetit.那个剧里的所有人都能搞定Everybodyonthatshowcangetit.我想我知道和我抬价的是谁了1thinkIknowwhombiddingagainst.我现在意识到我错rInowrealizethatIwaswrong,是时候清楚这个镇上很多过时和晦涩的法规了anditstimethatwepurgedthebooksofmanyofourtownsoutdatedandobscurelaws.我写的这条法案得到了整个市议会的支持会废止110条过时法规Thebillth
21、atIhavewrittenwiththefullsupportofthecitycouncilwillrepeal110obsoletelaws例如所有经期女性应被紧闭在她们的浴缸里suchasallmenstruatingwomenshallbeconfinedtotheirbathtubs以及第二条又名Ted聚会日andArticleTwo,aka,TedPartyDay.现在开始开放公众评论Thefloorisnowopenforpubliccomments.哦开始吧Oh,hereWego.谢谢我叫GarthBlundinThankyou.MynameisGarthBlundin,我反
22、对你这个可笑的提议andIobjecttoyourridiculousproposal.Pawnee宪&hearts漳♥不能被改变ThePawneeChartershallnotbechanged.今天不行以后也不行Nottoday,notever!哇很有激♥情♥Blundin先生非常感谢Wow,alotofpassion,Mr.Blundin.Thankyousomuch.你的反对已被记录在案了Yourobjectionisnotedandofficiallyintherecord.我们要继续进行投票了吗-不不我们不要Shallweproceedto
23、avote?-No.No,weshallnot.第三章第七条允许“市民阻挠”ArticleSeven,SectionThreeallowsforaCitizenfilibuster.如果我站在这里拒绝放弃发言IfIstandhereandrefusetoyieldmytime,就能妨碍你们对这个法案投票youareprohibitedfromvotingonthebill.那个部分是把“水牛肉”定义为可流通货币ThatsectiondefinesBuffalomeatasacceptablecurrency.那是水牛肉那条吗-嗯哼IsthattheBuffalomeatone?-Mm-hmm.
24、我是说第七章第三条ImeantArticleThree,SectionSeven.那让阻挠开始吧1.etthefilibusteringbegin.我现在想分享Iwouldnowliketoshare我对JJAbrams的星球大战长篇第七部的设想someideasIhaveforJ.J.AbramsseventhchapterintheStarWars*saga.镜头从塔图因的双子太阳垂直下降PandownfromthetwinsunsofTatooine.我们现在接近沙拉克大坑之口WearenowcloseonthemouthoftheSarlaccPit.在被打败之后BobaFett的曼达
25、洛装甲手套Afterabeat,theglovedMandalorianarmorgauntletofBobaFett抓住了沙拉克大坑的外沿grabsontothesandoutsideoftheSarlaccPit受惊的赏金猎人自己把自己从沙兽之口拖了上去andthefearedbountyhunterpullshimselffromthemawofthesandbeast.恶他是对的啊他真能这么做Ugh,hesright.Hecandothis.这正是我们需要把这些法律现代化的原因啊Thisisexactlywhyweneedtomodernizetheselaws.这种事情还合理的时候是
26、我们在谷仓里建市议会ThiskindofthingmadesensewhenWehadcouncilinabarn然后镇上总共只有80个人的时候andtherewere80peopleinthetown,但现在这样真是疯了butnowthisisnuts.漫威宇宙里的物品如果他拿着现实之石Ifheholdstherealitygem,那就意味着他可以在不同现实之间跳跃thatmeanshecanjumpfromdifferentrealities.这就会是连接Thiswillbeourlink漫威宇宙和星战宇宙之间的那条线索totheMarvelUniversefromtheStarWarsU
27、niverse.想象一下和楚巴卜针锋相对的人ImaginethosewhowereupagainstChewbacca因为那肯定会发生的被打败之后Luke说causethatsgonnahappen.Afterabeat,Lukesays,”达斯维达是我的父亲但欧比旺是我的主人”DarthVaderwasmyfather,butBenKenobiwasmymaster.沉默的羔羊角色然后他把汉尼拔莱克特切成了两半AndhecutsHannibalLecterinhalf.Blundin先生Mr.Blundin,你看我试图摆脱的法律look,thelawsmtryingtogetridof跟现代
28、社会已经没有关联havenomorerelevanceinmodernsociety对Pawnee来说已经很尴尬了andtheyreembarrassingtoPawnee.废止它们会显示出我们能Jl质应时代而改变Repealingthemwouldshowthatwerechangingwiththetimes.你不能就乱糟糟地改掉宪♥章♥啊Youcantjustchangethecharterwilly-nilly.你一开始只是随意废止了一些“老法律”Youstartbycasuallyrepealingacoupleof,oldlaws/*接下来你们就有穿长筒
29、靴的风暴兵thenextthingyouknow,yourjack-bootedstormtroopers踢开我的门没理由地逮捕我的老婆要是我结了婚的话arekickinginmydoorandarrestingmywifefornoreasonifIweremarried.你说的“长筒靴的风暴兵”Byjack-bootedstormtroopers/指的是Pawnee警局吗doyoumeanthePawneePoliceDepartment?嘿Clyde-嗨LeslieHey,Clyde.-Hi,Leslie.今天丹麦酥不错GoodDanishtoday.Pawnee宪♥章&h
30、earts;可不是个动态文件Knope女士ThePawneecharterisnotalivingdocument/Ms.Knope.你对这个镇的传统毫无敬意Youhavenorespectforthetraditionsofthistown.我当然有Iabsolutelydo.我曾经在Pawnee历史小屋当讲解员呢IusedtogivetoursatthePawneeHistoricalHouse.得了三次“半月最佳雇员”Threetimes,EmployeeOfTheFortnight.哦大事哦你穿几个小时的演出服Oh,bigdeal,youputonacostumeforacoupleh
31、ours.以那个逻辑的话每天晚上我睡觉的时候Bythatlogic,everytimeIgotobedatnight,我就是金刚狼IamWolverine.你买♥♥了X战警的睡衣啊YouboughtX-Menpajamas?我是赢的女士在抽奖里Iwonthem,madam,inaraffle.重点是我们的开镇元老们杰出而勇敢ThepointisisthatourFoundingFatherswerebrilliantandtheywerecourageous,但他们也有木制的假牙还在地里挖洞拉屎buttheyalsohadwoodenteethandpoopedin
32、holesintheground.那是个更原始的时代-是个更好的时代Itwasamoreprimitivetime.-Itwasabettertime.你在他们的日子里活不了两个星期Youwouldnthavesurvivedtwoweeksintheirday.哦是么那打个小赌吧Oh,really?Howaboutalittlewager?要不你和我去住在那个历史小屋里HowaboutyouandIgoliveinthathistoricalhouse,没有现代科技1817年规则nomoderntechnology,1817rules.如果你坚持更久我撤回我的法案Ifyoulastlonge
33、r,Iwithdrawmybill.我赢r你停下这些胡言乱语Iwin,youstopthisnonsense.你达成了一个协议Youhaveyourselfadeal.请写下你想从研讨会中希望收获的Pleasewritedownwhatyouhopetogainfromtheseminar,封在信封里然后结束时我们再打开sealitintheenvelope,andthenwellopenitwhenitsover.什么时候结束Whenisthisover?直到你们学会接受正面动机的力量为止Assoonasyoulearntoembracethepowerofpositivemotivatio
34、n.是为期两天的九小时研讨会Itsanine-hourseminarovertwodays.哇-哦好啊Whoa!-Oh,good.好吧我们开始Allright,letsbegin.请登上”管理号&hearts洌车”HoponboardTheManagementTrain.第一站动机站Firststop-MotivationStation.请上车Allaboard!别对我的华夫饼模具开价了Stopbiddingonmywaffleiron.你是未来老虎伍兹夫人”啊YoureFutureMrsTigerWoods?我就十年前注册的我不知道怎么改掉Imadethatprofile,like,teny
35、earsago.Idontknowhowtochangeit.重点是我要搞到那个华夫饼模具送给Leslie作早餐日礼物ThepointismgettingthatwaffleironforLeslieforbreakfastday.呃不你不能我要搞到给她做华夫饼R礼物Uh,no,yourenot.mgettingitforherforwaffleday.等等你也有个早餐日吗Wait,youhaveabreakfastdaytoo?我的在六月呢-拜托了BenMinesinJune.-Please,Ben.这是为了庆祝我们第一次去JJs的周年纪念Thisisthecelebrationofthea
36、nniversaryofthefirsttimewehungoutatJJs,她把这个看作是我们友谊的开始whichsheconsidersthebeginningofourfriendship.嗯想象一下跟她结婚是什么感觉Well,imaginebeingmarriedtoher.就像是被装满珍藏记忆手工缝制的枕头给闷死It,slikebeingsmotheredwithahand-quiltedpillowfilledwithcherishedmemories.不敢相信我居然在抱怨我的老婆有多体贴Icantbelievemcomplainingabouthowthoughtfulmywif
37、eis.抱歉亲爱的我爱你Sorry,honey.Iloveyou.你看我认识她更久了1.ook,Ihaveknownherforlonger,我有五年份的纪念日所以我有先来的特权Ihavefiveyearsworthofanniversaries,soIhaveseniority.哦天啊哦不Oh,God.Oh,no.我们拍卖♥♥输掉了-啥-不Wevelosttheauction.-What-no.有人最后一秒趁虚而入Somebodyswoopedinatthelastsecond,然后我们都完蛋了-不andnowwe,rebothscrewed.-No.好吧Tyri
38、onLannister你为啥不使个咒语Okay,TyrionLannister,whydontyoujustcastaspell给我们把华夫饼模具搞回来呢-哦好吧andgetusthewaffleironback?-Oh,okay.我甚至没时间告诉你你错得多离谱Idontevenhavetimetotellyouhowwrongyouare.实际上不说的话我会很膈应的Actually,itsgonnabugmeifIdont.1.annister一家虽然很富有TheLannisters,whileverywealthy,并不具有比如像Qarth的术士那样的魔法能力donotpossessthe
39、magicalabilitiesof,say,thewarlocksofQarthforexample.所以我们才没怎么打交道呢Thisiswhywedonthangout.想象你们自己是火车司机Thinkofyourselvesasengineers驾驶一辆由团队力量供能的积极性的火车头steeringalocomotiveOfpositivitythatrunsonteampower.首先火车头不是你“驾驶”的Firstofall,youdontsteeralocomotive.而是轨道Thetracksdo.第二只有三种方式能激发人-金钱恐惧和饥饿Second,thereareonlyt
40、hreewaystomotivatepeople-money,fear,andhunger.哦我不同意Oh,Idisagree.那鼓励和赏识呢Whataboutencouragement,appreciation,还有微笑andsmiles.当人们感觉受到支持Whenpeoplefeelsupported,他们真的会爆发出生产力theywillliterallyexplodewithproductivity.你们能就想出那种方式更好Canyouguysjustfigureoutwhichwayisbetter然后告诉我放我走吗andtellmesowecanleave?感谢你的投入AprilT
41、hankyouforyourinput,April,但CTMTS要求我们遵循一个明确的大纲buttheka-tumtsrequiresthatwefollowaveryspecificsyllabus.你没有表现得很包容ChrisYourenotbeingveryinclusive,Chris.我感觉我的投入没有受到赏识Ifeellikemyinputisntbeingappreciated.你杀掉了我的振作Youvekilledmyspirit.我振作的血在你的手上Myspiritbloodisonyourhands.天啊我已经教会你太多了MyGod,vetaughtyousomuchalr
42、eady.Ron我提议一个挑战Ron,Iproposeachallenge看看谁激发积极性的方式更有效toseewhosemotivationalmethodsaremoreeffective.接受挑战Challengeaccepted.我不想过分夸大IdontwanttoseemOverdramatic,但这真的是一场关于April灵魂的战斗butthisisliterallyabattleforAprilssoul.我不想过分夸大1dontwanttoseemOverdramatic,但我真的不在乎这里发生什么butIdon,treallycarewhathappenshere.Pawne
43、e公园娱乐部历史小屋博物馆1952年建成哦天Oh,God.我讨厌这个地方Ihatethisplace.所有东西都好老老东西都很蠢Everythingisold.Oldthingsaredumb.就像就做个新的啊It,slike,justbenew.我不知道了TOmIdontknow,Tom.我觉得那时候还是有很多挺酷的东西的Ithinktheressomeprettycoolthingsfrombackthen.这顶软帽好扇♥哦Thatisadopebonnet.哦刚刚来啊我看到Oh,justgettinghere,Isee.哎呀你昨晚睡这儿的吗Yikes.Didyousleep
44、herelastnight?着实我想在鸡叫之时到这里然后完成一些琐事Indeed.1wanttobeherewhenthecockcrowstogetthechoresdone.已然我做完了腌菜赶走了一位闯入的电视安装员Already,vedonethepreservesandchasedoffaninterlopingcableinstaller.好吧嗯我们把所有现代设备都放进这个桶Okay,well,letsputallmoderndevicesinthispail.所有1817年之后发明的东西都不能用Nothingcanbeusedthatwasinventedpast1817.Andy
45、TOm你们会是我们的裁判Andy,Tom,youwillbeourreferees.感谢你们志愿参与Thankyouforvolunteering.肯定没志愿我有好太多的事情可以做了Definitelydidntvolunteer.Ihadmuchbetterthingstodo.1.eslie说要付我100块1.esliesaidshedpayme100bucks.而我没有更好的事情做了And1hadnothingbettertodo.我是免费来干的mdoingitforfree.我不可能输掉这场比赛的Theresnowaymlosingthiscontest.老式裙子吗有了Old-timeydress?Check.早期草原生活的大量知识在这呢Extensiveknowledgeaboutearlyprairielife?Righthere.软骨病治好了Rickets?Cured.不用担心软骨病Dontneedtoworryaboutrickets.止汗剂不允许Antiperspirant?Notallowed.里面可能会有点难熬Mightgetalittleroughinthere.我在想你能不能帮我Iwaswonderingifyoucouldhelpmeout.啥也别说rSaynomore.这里有一堆枪Heresabunchofguns.不Nope.另一个东西
