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1、摩登家庭ModernFamilySeason11Episode15Part2Okay,look,it,salmosttime.拜托别弄出任何噪音Justplease,nobodymakeanynoise,任何人都不准进那间办公室nobodygointhatoffice.我现在做好了完全的准备Ihaveallmyducksinarow.我先上楼换个衣服就好mjustgonnarunupstairsandchangemyshirt.好吧但是小心点Oh,okay,butbecareful.我知道自己在干什么我没问题的Iknowwhatmdoing,Ihavegotthis.要命了老天爷啊Oh,boy
2、!Oh,God!我的腿卡在里面了Mylegisstuck!谁快想想办法啊Somebodydosomething!我很擅长取下卡住的戒指mreallygoodatgettingringsoff.你想让我给你大腿涂黄油做润滑吗Doyouwantmetobutteryourthighs?迪伦有时我喜欢把话先在心里过一遍Hey,Dylan,sometimesIliketoplaythingsout看没有歧义再说出口inmyheadfirst,ifthatshelpful.亲爰的我们想和你说个事Hey,honey,uh,weneedtotalktoyouaboutsomething.宝贝这是件大事Swe
3、etie,thisissomethingprettybig,我希望你做好心理准备and1-Iwantyoutobraceyourself.领养机构联♥系♥了我们Theadoptionagencycalled我死也不回去mnotgoingback!你知道软弱有特权的孩子在Ill见港会有什么下场吗Doyouknowwhathappenstosoft,entitledkidsinDaNang?不不不不是的No,no,no,no,no,no!No,no.不是的N-No.No.有一个男婴Theresababyboy我觉得你们应该收养他Ithinkyoushoulddoit.真
4、的吗你这么轻易就同意了-什么-Really?Just-)ustlikethat?-u202dWhat?只要我去朋友家过夜时能让你们不再来看什么都行Whateverstopsyoudroppingbymysleepovers.你们对我过度关注了Youguysarewaytoofocusedonme.再说有个弟弟会很欢乐的Plus,Ithinkitdbefuntohaveababybrother.品状ZK，、u202dAlthough.虽然什么Althoughwhat?你们现在养娃不会太老了吗Arentyouguyskindofoldtobehavingababy?我马上要进入夜夜笙歌&heart
5、s;的青少年时期mgettingintothejuicypartofmyteenyears.万一你们死了我可不想接手带娃1dontwanttohavetotakeoverforyou.我们也没那么老好吗Okay,wearenotthatold.你们都50高寿了Yourelike50.什么鬼当然没有Oh,myGod!No!小爸才44岁我48岁Daddys44,andm48.你们知道等宝宝上高三时Youdorealizewhenthebabysaseniorinhighschool,你们就是拿养老金的长者了吧youguyswillbeseniorcitizens?我们才不是长.Wewillnotb
6、eseniorc-小卡-66-Cam.-u202dSixty-six.到时我66岁llbesixty-six.我就是61岁Andllbesixty-one.是62啦Well,sixty-two.没到六月生日不算啦NotuntilJune!没用啊我的腿还紧紧卡在里面lt,snotworking!Mylegisreallystuckinthere!也许该再考虑下我的提议了Itmightbetimetoreturntomyidea.我绝不会砍掉我的腿mnotcuttingmylegoff.想想装上一条机械腿后你会跑得多快啊Thinkabouthowfastyouwouldrunwitharobotl
7、eg.卢克你妈妈怎么可能装一条机械腿1.uke,yourmom,snotgettingarobotleg!她应该装两条不然她跑起来只会绕圈Shedneedtwo,orshedjustrunincircles.好了我们该看看楼梯下面Comeon,letscheckunderthestairs.没错拜托了快点Yes,please,andhurry!这房♥子怎么回事Whatthehellsthematterwiththishouse?怎么会坏掉两级楼梯Howcouldtwostepsbebroken?天啊湿气好重我头发都要变卷了MyGod,thehumidity.Myhair,sgon
8、nafrizzout.所以我从来不给别人看我在越南的照片Thatswhy1nevershowanypicturesfromNam.糟了我把给菇木装的加湿器Oh,no,Itotallyforgotaboutthehumidifier忘得一干二净了formymushroomlog.它需要阴暗和潮湿环境Itneededdarknessandmoisture.一定是腐蚀了木头Itmusthaverottedthewood.老婆你真的卡得死死的Wow,honey,yourereallywedgedinheretight.是啊没在开玩笑的Yeah,nokidding.你为什么不能像个正常人一样Whycan
9、,tyoubuyyourmushroomsatastore,直接从商店买♥♥峭菇likeanormalperson?店里买♥♥的蘑菇Store-boughtmushrooms?你这婴儿潮一代和我这代之间真的有代沟Youreallydontgetmygeneration,Boomer.也许这样能让你顿悟Maybethis,llenlightenyou.张嘴Openup.把你的脏手拿开Getyourhandawayfrommy-张嘴啦Openup!真特么好吃Thatsdamngood.我为什么总是拒绝尝试新事物WhydoIalwaysdefa
10、ulttoNo?歌♥洛莉亚是对的吗我该尝试修身牛仔裤吗IsGloriaright?ShouldItryslim-cutjeans?下面是怎么回事啊Guys!Whatsgoingondownthere?!你的脚卡在两条水管之间Yourfootsstuckbetweentwocopperpipes.我们得把水管锯开Weregonnahavetocutit.可能需要一些时间Itmighttakeawhile.我等不了Idonthaveawhile!真不敢相信我要错过面试了Icantbelievethis.mgoingtomissmyinterview.这可是我的梦想工作啊Andthis
11、wasmydreamjob!我本来能收纳好整个世界Iwasgonnagettoorganizethewholeworld.现在一切都只能保持混乱的原状Andnoweverythingisgonnastaysomessy.你不能重新约个时间吗Cantyoujustrescheduleit?不行菲尔那我会像个不靠谱的鸽王No!Phil,dlooklikeaflake!这可是收纳公&hearts词♥Thisisanorganizationalcompany,不像你们房&hearts产界那么懒散随意nottheloosey-gooseyworldofrealestate,你们都只会说“中
12、午十二点到三点见whereeverythingsSeeyounoontothree,我会带曲奇来”andllbringthecookies!抱歉我拿你撒气了Sorry.mlashingout.没关系狮子不会因为绵羊的看法No,itsokay.Theliondoesntlosesleep而辗转失眠overtheopinionsofsheep.宝贝你就在那里接电♥话♥呗Honey,justtakethecallfromthere.我在楼梯上接电♥话♥看起来会多荒唐啊HowridiculouswouldIlooktakingacallonsta
13、irs?再说我需要那些架子因为我已经精心Plus,Ineedmyshelves,causeIhadthiswholething摆好了各种产品还有workedoutwiththeproductsand你不需要搞这些噱头Youdontneedgimmicks!你曾是普利契特衣柜的牛逼CEOYouweretheC.E.O,forPritchettsfreakinClosets.你知道有多少人能说这句话吗Youknowhowmanypeoplecansaythat?只有我和你Meandyou!还有玛格丽特我每五年AndMargareteveryfiveyears,去做结肠镜检查时都交给她代班whenI
14、wentunderformycolonoscopy.好吧把电♥话♥给我Fine.Givememyphone.我就在这里搞砸我的面试llbombtheinterviewfromrighthere.她失去自信了她需要那些架子Sheslostherconfidence.Sheneedsthoseshelves.其实如果她去不了办公室Youknowwhat,ifshecantgettotheoffice,我们可以把办公室搬到她旁边wecanbringtheofficetoher.你在盯着看Yourestaring.我头发炸毛了对不对mfrizzing,arentI?我必须承
15、认走进那校园vegottoadmit,walkingontothatcampus.那么多人注视着我崇拜我Allthoseeyesonme,theadoration.感觉很好感觉这是对的Itfeltgood.Itfeltright.感觉我得到的这些待遇都是应得的1.ikeIhadearnedeverythingthatwascomingmyway.你烂透了Yousuck!不就是你No!You!什么What?希洛动力超邪恶HeloDynamicsisevil!你说什么我们帮助别人Excuseme?Wehelppeople.是啊帮那些法♥西&hearts撕♥分子独&hea
16、rts;裁♥者寡头Yeah!Peoplelikefascists,dictators,oligarchs.你在说什么啊Whatareyoutalkingabout?我们不过是制♥造♥能检测Wemakethingslikefacialscanners遗传病倾向的面部扫描仪thatdetectpredispositiontogeneticdiseases.残暴♥政♥♥府♥就用这个来WhichoppressivegovernmentsusetRS!）持♥不♥同♥
17、政♥见♥者toidentifypoliticaldissidents.但这也能用在视频聊天里Well,Imean,itsalsousedonvideochats把你自己变成独角兽啊toturnyourselfintoaunicorn.还有比这更好玩的吗Nameonethingmorefun!穿着你的名牌高跟鞋滚出去见钱眼开的垃圾Whydontyouwalkyourfancyshoesouttahere,yousellout?!为什么有个穿凉鞋还配袜子的士逼Whyissomeonewearingsocksandsandals在辱骂你绝美的高跟鞋yellingatyourfabulousshoes?见利忘义-我不知道
