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1、好吧我不想过分夸大Okay,Idontwanttoover-hypethis,但隆重介绍.哒哒哒哒butpresenting.Dun-da-da-dah!新版Pawnee市网站thenewcityofPawneewebsite!完全改造你可以付停车费Totallyrevamped!-Youcanpayparkingtickets,你可以申请营Wl照而最棒的部分youcanapplyforabusinesslicenseandthebestpart是我们要开展一次网络调查让人们挑选新的镇口号♥isweregoingtoputupanonlinepollsopeoplecanpick
2、thenewtownslogan!嘿看一只熊猫Hey,look,apanda!是啊那就是一个吉祥物的东西Yeah,that,sjustsomemascotthing被设计师放在主页上的thatthedesignerputuponthefrontpage.但更重要的是现在申请公川事业税退税可以在线了Butmoreimportantly,youcannowapplyforautilitytaxrefund.online!等等熊猫的名字叫PeeboWait,thepandasnameisPeebo.PeeboPeebo.看你甚至可以跟他打乒乓球1.ook,youcanevenplayping-pon
3、g.什么我想玩What?-1wanttoplay!不我先我先就这样我抢了No,mefirst!Mefirst!Thatsit.mcallingit.伙计们Ben做这个真的很用心好吧Guys,Benworkedreallyhardonthis,okay?我们来看看在线调查1.etslookattheonlinepolls.会是一种很酷的方式选择我们镇新口号♥哦Itsgonnabeacoolwaytochooseournewtownsslogan.Oh!熊猫用尾巴拿着一个拍子呢我想玩ThepandaholdsapaddlewithhistailIwanttoplay!祝贺你BenCo
4、ngratulations,Ben.你做的这个真的是很好的熊猫游戏干得好Thisistrulyafinepandagameyoumade.Welldone.他还能做什么Whatelsedoeshedo?我觉得如果你点一下竹子它会戴上一顶礼帽Ithinkifyouclickonthebamboo,itputsonatophat.什么What?我爱你BenIloveyou,Ben!公园与游憩公园与游憩第6季第16集第6季第16集你什么情况啊What,swrongwithyou?你看起来像是紫苑草结尾的MeryIStreePYoulooklikeMerylStreepattheendofIronwe
5、ed.你指望吧Youwish.嗯我开车走遍了印第安纳Well,vebeendrivingalloverIndiana寻找在联合演唱会上演出的乐队lookingforbandstoplaytheunityconcert.我没有任何能展示的除了四次交通事故Igotnothingtoshowfor,exceptforfourcaraccidents.所有这些陌生人的保险信息Allthesestrangers*insuranceinformation.哦我知道了你有车险为啥不炫耀一下呢Ooh,Igetit,youhavecarinsurance.Whydontyoubragaboutit?嘿你是Eag
6、leton来的对吧Hey,youarefromEagleton,right?那边有我该去看看的地方吗ArethereanyplacesoutthereIshouldcheckout?我曾经在Pattersons看过现场演出IusedtogoseeliveshowsatPattersons.但我在抵♥制♥直到店主为Butmboycottinguntiltheownerapologizes她在狗公园跟我说过的话道歉forwhatshesaidtomeatthedogpark.酷哦还有吗Cool.Anythingelse?我听说Cozys酒吧周四挺多人的1hearCozy
7、sBarisprettypackedonThursdays.但我从没去过因为基本上都是中年妇女Butveneverbeenbecauseitsmostlymiddle-agedwomen而我对火鸡脖了过敏andmallergictoturkeyneck.真的吗那是最好吃的部分啊Really?Thatsthebestpart.我们有空该分火鸡吃Weshouldsplitaturkeysometime.哦Larson先生太感谢你在这里见我了Oh,Mr.Larson.Thankyousomuchformeetingmehere.很高兴我就在附近Happyto.Iwasinthearea.有机会让我还
8、给你这个装满工作相关问题的活页夹Thechanceformetoreturnyourbinderfullofquestionsaboutthejob.我觉得我回答了所有问题IthinkIansweredallofthem.谢谢你等不及好好看看了Thankyou.Icannotwaittocheckthisout.现在我请你在这里见我的原因-Now,thereasonwhyIaskedyoutomeetmehere-更多工作相关问题Morequestionsaboutthejob.哦是的Martha我需要两小时分量的华夫饼Oh,yeah.Martha?mgonnaneedtwohourswort
9、hofwaffles.GrantLarson给我提供了机会GrantLarsonhasofferedmeachance来监管国家公园部的一个分部办公室tooverseeabranchofficeofthenationalparkservice.这就像是公园界的BruceSpringsteen把CourtneyCox拖上台ThisisliketheparksequivalentofBruceSpringsteenpullingCourtneyCoxonstage.1984年CourtneyCox在BruceSpringsteen的mv中出演被拉上舞台跳舞我是说前一分钟你还是人群中普通的一个女孩I
10、mean,oneminuteyourejustaregulargirlinthecrowd,下一分钟你就在鼓手MaxWeinberg旁边三米远的位置跳舞了andthenextminuteyouredancing10feetawayfromfreakinMaxWeinberg!好的我的第40个和倒数第18个问题Okay,myfortiethandeighteenthfromlastquestion是关于中心地区外来植物管理项目isabouttheHeartlandExoticPlantManagementProject.那我会在哪做实际的种树呢Now,wherewould1beactuallyd
11、oingthephysicalplanting?因为我一直都有一个梦想Becauseitisalwaysbeenadreamofmine在阿肯色州的红色河岸上种植斑点宝石草toplantspottedjewelweedalongtheredriverbankinArkansas,但我很肯定你经常听到这种话butmsureyouhearthatalot.嗯你不会实际种什么的Well,youwouldntactuallybeplantingthings.我是说你要监管200个人Imean,youreoverseeing200people.日常的细枝末节可能会委托给员工Theeverydayminu
12、tiayouwoulddelegatetostaff.1.eslie你的工作是更加有创意的全局性的东西1.eslie,yourjobismorecreative,bigpicturestuff.你不用再做无聊的文书工作了Nomoreboringpaperworkingforyou.好啊我讨厌文书工作Good!Ihatepaperwork.我几乎从没周六晚上在床上做过IhardlyeverdoitinmybedonaSaturdaynight同时听着旧的辣妹专辑CDwhilelisteningtooldspicegirlsCDs.尊购Meagle我最爱的地&hearts产♥中介Re
13、galMeagle.Myfavoriterealtor.你有点热门地&hearts产♥要给我看看吗-你知道的Yougotsomehotpropertiestoshowme?-Youknowit.记得我的“必须有列表开放式厨厉♥Remembermylistofmust-haves:Openkitchen,壁炉裸砖墙你也知道我不会把天窗排除在外fireplace,exposedbrick,andyouknowIwouldntkickaskylightoutofbed.我要开Pawnee首家真IESinatra风格的意大利餐厅-mopeningPawneesfirstau
14、thenticSinatrastyleItalianrestaurant-Tom的小酒馆TomsBistro.我就像是个纤瘦帅气印度版的MarioBatalli-mkindoflikeaskinny,handsome,IndianMarioBatali-MarioBatali著名大厨而不知道如何烹饪whodoesntknowhowtocook.在我走之前我给你们准备了一点答谢礼物Beforewego,Igotyouguysalittlesomethingforhelpingmeout.哦Oh!爱死了1.oveit!一个LaITy巫♥毒♥娃♥娃&hear
15、ts;吗ALarryvoodoodoll?Tom那也太贴心了谢谢Tom,thatssosweetThanks.嗷哦天啊0w!Oh,mygosh!我甚至什么都没做呢巫♥毒♥娃♥娃♥在理解我的想法Ididntevendoanything.Thevoodoodollisreadingmythoughts.所以看起来进展真的不错对吧Soitseemslikeitwentreallywell,right?是啊是啊完全的Grant很好工作也很好Yeah.Yeah,totally.Grantisgreat,thejobisgreat.华夫饼也很好-好啊
16、Thewafflesweregreat.-Great.所以我们差不多准备好把口号♥调查上线了你想看看吗Sowerejustaboutreadytogolivewiththesloganpoll.Youwanttosee?现在Eagleton和Pawnee合并了NowthatEagletonandPawneehavemerged,是时候挑选新的镇口号♥了itistimetopickanewtownslogan.而一个口号♥能给一个镇的旅游业和身份带来巨大的改变Andaslogancanmakeabigdifferencewithtourismandato
17、wnsidentity.有纽约“不夜城”ThereisNewYork,thecitythatneversleeps.然后有佛罗里达州的GlenwaterAndthenthereisGlenwater,Florida,美国最暴♥力♥的沃尔玛停车场之家homeofAmericasmostviolentWalmartparkinglot.好吧所以人们现在可以投票了Okay,sopeoplecanvotenow.是你看这就是这个网站超级酷的一点Yeah,see,thatsthesupercoolthingaboutthiswebsite就是它为我们完成所有工作我们只需要坐稳
18、放松就好isitdoesalltheworkforussowecanjustsitbackandtakeiteasy.不不我们不能那么做No.No,werenotgonnadothat.我们要坐动放紧Weregonnasitforwardandtakeithard.呃啥-还有很多核心事务要做呢BenUm,what?-Theresalotofnitty-grittylefttodo,Ben.我们需要卷起袖子我们需要逐户拜访Weneedtorollupoursleeves,weneedtogodoortodoor,我们需要散发传♥单♥还有民调你知道我们要做什么吗wene
19、edtohandoutfliers,andcanvass.Youknowwhatweshoulddo?我们应该开场媒体聚会宣传调查Weshouldhaveapressjunket,topublicizethepoll.好吧我希望你有午餐计划因为现在你可以取消掉了Okay,Ihopeyouhadlunchplans,causenowyougettocancelthem.嗯我-我有啊Well,I-Idid.所以这曾经是Eagleton最佳的寿司餐厅之一SothiswasoneofEagletonstopsushirestaurants.但你不能永远逃过鲸鱼肉警♥察♥的抓
20、捕Butyoucantoutrunthewhalemeatpoliceforever.这也太棒了我爱死了Thisisgreat.Iloveit!看到它我就能想象了1.ookatit,Icanpictureitnow.那边是政♥治♥家们坐着的地方Thatswherethepoliticianswillsit,这边是有人脉的家伙们带来他们情妇的地方thisiswheretheconnectedguyswillbringtheirgoomahs.这地方太完美了多少钱一个月9000Thisplaceisperfect.Howmuch?-9,000amonth.什么那比我付得
21、起的价格高太多了What?That,swaymorethatIcanafford.无所谓r这也没那么棒啊Whatever.Itsnotthatgreat.而且这离上班地方太远了会很烦人Plus,itsreallyfarawayfromworkandthatdbeannoying.没什么大不了的It,snotabigdeal.我是说一开始启动的时候我会来回跑Imean,whenitfirstlaunchesllgobackandforth,但希望它能起飞变成全职工作buthopefullyittakesoffanditllbecomeafull-timejob.来吧我给你看看一些在你价位的地方C
22、omeon,llshowsomeplacesinyourpricerange.这次媒体聚会是一个美妙的主意不是吗Thispressjunketisabrilliantidea,isn,tit?奇怪的我没见过的摄影师先生Mr.StrangeCameramanWhoINeverMet.1.eslie我说过了我不会参与1.eslie,Itoldyou,Imnotgonnaparticipate你奇怪的JuliaRoberts摄影师老公幻想的inyourweirdJuliaRoberts,cameramanhusbandfantasy.安静摄影师Perd来了Quiet,cameraman,Perd,s
23、here.1.eslie你的调查是设计来选择一个新口号♥的1.eslie,yourpollisdesignedtochooseanewslogan.而一个口号♥是有意义的一系列的词语Andasloganisaseriesofwordsthathaveameaning.太正确了PerdSotrue,Perd.镇口号♥的所有选择都很精彩Allofthechoicesforthetownsloganarewonderful,但如果我要选择自己最喜欢的butifIhadtochoosemyfavorite那可能会是“卓越过去光明未来”itwouldprobab
24、lybeStoriedpast,brightfuture.嗯我对这个事情的兴趣的“拙“见是它是中等的Well,thestoryofmyinterestlevelis:Itsmedium.Joan这次调查是一个机会可能给我们新合并的城市一个新的身份-Joan,thispollisachancetogiveournewly-mergedcityanewidentity-真的给这个镇重新命名toreallyrebrandthistown.是的好问题我一直在考虑给自己重新命名Yes,greatquestion.IhavebeenthinkingOfrebrandingmyself你觉得JuanCall
25、amezzo怎么样WhatdoyouthinkaboutJuanCallamezzo?Juan”不是个男用名吗不它的意思是“花”IsntJuanaman,sname?-No,itmeansflower.我觉得意思是“John”IthinkitmeansJohn.疯狂Ira与混♥蛋♥来自93.7FM老快活了CrazyIraandtheDouchefrom93.7FM,theGroove.1.eslie你相信这个新口号♥1.eslie,doyoubelievethatthisnewslogan会把Pawnee和Eagelton结合成一个有凝聚力的城市吗wi
26、llintegratePawneeandEagletonintoonecohesivecity?哇这是个深思熟虑的问题啊疯狂IraWow,thatsaverythoughtfulquestion,CrazyIra.是的是我觉得-后续问题LeslieYes,yes,Ido.-Follow-upquestion,Leslie,给我们看你的奶♥子♥showusyourboobs!臀部这能贴在保险杠贴上面吗Willthisfitonabumpersticker?天啊这个地方人挤人的你们乡亲们应该真的很喜欢这家伙吧Gosh,thisplaceispacked.Youfolks
27、mustreallylikethisguy.亲爱的他可是热狗那么性感啊Honey,heissexonastick.女士们先生们伸出你们爵士的双手欢迎我的朋友银爵士先生1.adiesandgentlemen,putyourjazzyhandstogetherformyman,Mr.DukeSilver!一个顺畅而丝滑的晚上敬你们Asmoothandsilkyeveningtoyouall.在这样的夜晚当寒风吹起Onnightslikethis,whenthecoldwindsblow,而空气被我们梦想的漩涡所淹没andtheairisawashintheswirlingeddiesofourdr
28、eams,来与我一起找到安全的避难所comewithmeandfindsafehaven.就在充满我爵士的温暖浴缸里inawarmbathtubfullofmyjazz.嗯好消息是你的调查大受欢迎Well,thegoodnewsisyourpollwasabighit.有上千人投了票-挺好啊哪个领先Thousandsofpeoplevoted.-Thatsgreat.Whatsleading?”卓越过去光明未来”吗-不Storiedpast,brightfuture?-No.目前领先的是“Pawnee欢迎来到混♥蛋♥国度ThecurrentleaderisPawne
29、e,welcometoDouchenation.1什么-疯狂Ira和混♥蛋♥What?-CrazyIraandtheDouche让他们的笨蛋电台粉丝用自填选票涌进调直gottheirboneheadradiofanstofloodthepollwithwrite-invotes.为什么我们要包含自填的选项啊Whydidweincludeawrite-inoption?因为每个选举都有自填选项啊Becauseeveryelectionhasawrite-inoption.这就是民♥主♥的方式Thatshowdemocracyworks.我不
30、是独♥裁&hearts渚如果我是独♥裁♥者的话mnotadictator.IfIwereadictator,我会不经审讯就把混♥蛋♥扔进监狱IwouldthrowtheDoucheinprisonwithoutatrial.我会是一个很强硬的独♥裁♥者Iwouldbeaverystrongdictator,而你会是我的保镖而且你会领导我的军队andyouwouldbemybodyguard,andyouwouldleadmyarmy.好吧我知道我们应该想出如何解决Okay,Iknowweshoul
31、dfigureouthowtofixthis.但我想象你是独♥裁♥者开始有点性致了这很糟吗Butmstartingtogetkindofturnedonimaginingyouasadictator,isthatbad?不没事No,itsokay.你知道我们可以就为挑选口号♥找到不同的策略Youknow,Wecouldjustfigureoutadifferentstrategyforpickingaslogan.你不需要上他们的节目Youdonthavetogoontheirshow.不我想做这个我享受这种挑战No,Iwanttodothis.Ien
32、joythechallenge.所以我看起来如何So,howdoIlook?我需要这些家伙觉得我就超级放松Ineedtheseguystothinkthatm,like,superchill.这能行吗-哦咋啦LezIsthisgonnawork?-Oh,whatup,Lez?巾11子反戴-展示对权威的真正不尊重Backwardshat-showsareallackofrespectforauthority.我喜欢Ilikethat.咋滴啦小市长你又要抓狂了吗Whatsup,littlemayor?Areyougonnafreakoutagain?所以LeSIie什么情况啊So,Leslie,w
33、hatsthedeal?你来这就是再吼我们一次的吗Areyoujustheretoyellatusagain?是啊我们要准备好再来一次LeslieKnope唠叨会吗Yeah,weareinstoreforanotherLeslieKnopenagsesh?疯狂Ira洗盘子去吧CrazyIra,dothedishes!经典不会啊我不是来唠叨的伙计们Classic!Noway!mnotheretonag,guys.我只是来到演播室超兴奋的你们知道吧我就是.mjustpsychedtobeinthestudio,youknow?mjust.在演播室儿和我的将们儿放松呢chillininthestud
34、eswithmydudes.如果你真的不是真来唠叨的Ifyourereallynotreallyheretonagus,那或许你能在下个环节帮我们thenmaybeyoullhelpuswithournextsegment.“名人咪♥咪♥打分Ratingcelebritiesboobs!兀美Perfect.从1分到啊啊啊要出来了Onascale,from1toga-ga-ga-going!你要给EmmaWatson的咪♥咪♥打多少分HowwouldyourateEmmaWatsonsboobs?首先我要给她的表演打Firstofall,I
35、wouldrateheractingasanA.你有三秒钟的时间回答不然我们就撤回一笔慈善捐款-撤回吗哦Youhavethreesecondstoanswerorwe,regonnawithdrawadonationfromcharity.-Fromcharity?Oh.A-Aminus.更像是DD减MorelikedoubleDminus.我好饥渴哦Mesohorny!我就知道我就知道Iknewit.Iknewit.有什么事吗可能CanIhelpyou?-Maybe.我昨晚在那个爵士酒吧Iwasoutatthejazzclublastnight为联合演唱会物色乐队scoutingbandsf
36、ortheunityconcert.然后我看到些很有意思的东西AndIsawsomethingveryinteresting.我就是银爵士你有个双胞胎兄弟IamDukeSilver.-Youhaveatwinbrother.什么什么What?-What?我有个双胞胎兄弟-你就是银爵士1haveatwinbrother.-YouareDukeSilver?是的我就是银爵士Yes,IamDukeSilver.其他人里只有Tom和April知道TheonlyotherpeoplewhoknowareTomandApril.所以拜托别声张So,please,keepittoyourself.你开玩笑吧
37、你真的很好啊Areyoukiddingme?Youarereallygood!你就像是萨克斯手里的加州葡葡干那种好Youare,like,thesaxophoneplayerfortheCalifornia-raisins-good.没开玩笑你知道吗Nojoke.Youknowwhat?我要预订你上联合演唱会mbookingyou.fortheunityconcert.当然不行我的音乐事业是隐私Absolutelynot.Mymusicalcareerisprivate.如果我的秘密泄露出去这间办公室里堆满的女性内衣能没过腰部Ifmysecretgotout,thisofficewouldbe
38、waist-deepinwomensundergarments.不我负责给演唱会预订乐队No,minchargeofbookingthebandsfortheconcert,而我说你要来你就安排在and1say,yourein.YouregonnaplayrightafterBobbyknightranger后面他们是个只穿红毛衣的NightRanger翻唱乐队Bobbyknightranger.It,sanightrangercoverbandwheretheyonlywearredsweaters.红毛衣是BobbyKnight的标志性打扮会超精彩的Itsgonnabeepic!最后一轮L
39、eSlie胸还是臀Finalround,Leslie,boobsorass?难以相信这对你们电台听众是个有趣的游戏Hardtobelievethisisafungameforyourradiolisteners.啊我想说屁♥股♥Ah.mgonnasaybutt.叮叮叮Ding,ding,ding!好你是对的Yes!-Youarecorrect.这是我妈的垃圾车Thisismymomsdumper!哦妈咪Oh,mommy!我不知道你是怎么搞到的我拍的Idontknowhowyougotyourhandsonthat.-1tookit.好啊嗯和我的伙计们弟兄真的很有意思
40、Good.Well,itisbeensofunbro-ingoutwithmydogs.我从不知道物化女性可以这公好玩Ineverknewthatobjectifyingwomencouldbesomuchfun.我们快没时间了所以抓紧提醒各位自填Wererunningoutoftimeheresojustaquickremindertowrite-in欢迎来到混♥蛋♥国度WelcometoDouchenation!作为pawneecity.gov上的官方镇口号♥astheofficialtownsloganforpawneecity.gov.或者你们
41、知道什么会很/S♥吗Oryouknowwhatwouldalsobekindofdope混♥蛋♥国度的人们forthepeopleofDouchenationtodo?就是给另一个口号♥投票It,svoteforanotherslogan.比如你知道的”卓越过去光明未来1.ike,youknow,Storiedpast,brightfuture?但是.我不在乎我屁都不在乎兄弟们But.Idontcare.Idontgiveafart,bros.你知道就做你们的事吧鸡翅们Youknow,justdoyourthing,chickenwing
42、.嘿疯狂Ira你看到我的棍子了吗Hey,CrazyIra,haveyouseenmystick?你的棍子呢-我不知道啊Wheresyourstick?-1dontknow.比尔博巴金斯魔戒中的人物蕾丝边巴金斯你知道我的棍子在哪吗1.esboBaggins,youknowwheremystickis?你-哦找到我的棍子了You-Oh!Foundmystick.哦你在哪找到的啊Oh,wheredidyoufindit?在LeslieKnope的屁♥股♥bUpLeslieKnopesbutt!哟我棍儿在哪呢-在她屁♥股♥上呢宝贝Yo,where
43、mystickup?-Itsupherbutt,papi.犹太Greg不管我们付你多少钱都不够JewishGreg,whateverwerepayingyou,itsnotenough.该死我差点儿就搞定了Damnit,Ialmostpulledthatoff.不你真没有No,youreallydidnt.就把调直删掉对这个口号♥的事情放手吧Justdeletethepoll.Letthesloganthinggo.或者或许我们溜回去-0r,maybewesneakbackinthere-你让那些家伙分心大概3090分钟youdistractthoseguysfor,like,3
44、0,90minutes,我上电台直播我发表一番关于我想支持的口号♥的演讲Igetonliveradio,IgiveanimpassionedspeechaboutwhatsloganIwanttoendorse然后我放几首歌♥因为这是我一直想做的andIplayafewsongs,which1alwayswantedtodo,然后我们看看会发生什么andthenwejustseewhathappens.不我就应该放手好吧No.Ishouldjustletthisgo.Okay.大哥你在干嘛呢Dude,whatareyoudoing?那看起来像是个挺好的萨克斯箱子啊T
45、hatlookslikeaperfectlygoodsaxophonecase.等等箱子里面是啥Waitaminute.What,sinsidethatcase?我要结束我的秘密音乐事业了Iamendingmysecretmusicalcareer.我必须杀r银爵士不别啊兄弟IhavetokillDukeSilver.-No,comeon,man.你真的很棒你不能退出啊抱歉AndrewYourereallygood.Youcantquit.-Sorry,Andrew.我宁愿再不演奏也不想所有人知道我的秘密Iwouldratherneverplayagainthanhaveeveryonekno
46、wmysecret.再见了银爵士Good-bye,DukeSilver.愿你安息、于爵士乐Mayyourest.injazz.所以Tom说你是某种电脑专家So,Tomtoldyouaresortoflikeacomputerexpert.呃是啊可以这么说Uh.yeah.Youcansaythat.这些混♥蛋♥想劫持我的在线调查Thesejerksaretryingtohijackmyonlinepoll,而迄今领先的镇口号♥是andsofartheleadingtownsloganis,LeslieKnope屁棍之家”HomeofthestickupLeslieKnope,sbutt.是啊是啊我也投了那个Yeah,yeah.Ivotedf
