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1、祝全世界生日快乐Happybirthday,world!天才叔公整容打得好啊兄弟Isay,wellplayed,goodchap.谢谢你老头子Why,thankyou,oldbean.不得不承认今天的草地对我很有利1mustadmit,thegreensdoseemtobeinmyfavortoday.先让我喝完这冷冷的一杯热牛奶Well,letmefinishthisice-coldglassofpiping-hotmilk估计就能给你反转了andperhapsproveotherwise.好像这重力对我可有利了Itseemsasthoughthegravityisindeedinmyfav
2、or.完蛋了那东西哪去了Aw,picklejuice.Whereisthatdangthing?你们有看到我的黑色领结吗Haveyouguysseenmyblackbowtieanywhere?我等下有张重要的照片得去拍Igotarealimportantphotoshootlater得把我形象搞好andIneedtolookmybest.拍照Photoshoot?感觉戴个领结Well,Idontthinkabowtie也抚不平你的皱纹跟眼袋isgonnadoanythingforthosestresswrinklesandeyebags.要不要跟我们来局轻松的槌球Howaboutjoinin
3、gusforanicerelaxinggameofcroquet?我没空玩游戏Idonthavetimetoplaygames.我得准备去拍照Igottoprepforthisphotoshoot.这摄影师在学界的评价特别高Thisphotographerisheldinveryhighregardintheintellectualcommunity所以我形象得高雅soIneedtolookrefined.那就别惦记你的领结了Well,thenforgetthebowtie好好整个容吧andrefineagoodplasticsurgeon.我没空这么玩Idonthavetimeforthis
4、.等等格斯先生我正好有工具Wait,Mr.Gus.Igotjustthething.可以抹点老虎的面霜YoucanputonsomeofTigersfacialcream.面霜深层组织可以让你美滋滋还倍感放松Itllmakeyoulookbeautiful,anditsveryrelaxing.你身上怎么会有那东西Whydoyouhavethatonyou?我以为是蛋糕糖霜就拿了Igrabbeditthinkingitwascakefrosting.意下如何格斯先生So,whatdoyousay,Mr.Gus?要不要帮你整整容Howaboutwefixupyourfaceforyou?能把我形
5、象搞好就行吧Well,Isupposeifitllhelpmelookmybest好了格斯先生Okay,Mr.Gus.先从有问题的区域开始mgonnastartwiththeproblemareasfirst.好了Therewego!现在得弄平一点点Nowwejustgottosmoothitoutalittle最后来放黄瓜片andlastbutnotleast,somecucumberslices!你身上怎么会有那些东西Whydoyouhavethoseonyou?我以为是小型飞盘就拿了IgrabbedthemthinkingtheywereminiFrisbees.合情合理Makessen
6、se.可以了Herewego.现在就只要躺下放松Nowyoujustgottolaybackandrelax让面霜发挥疗效andletthecreamdoitswork.感觉还挺舒服Thisactuallyfeelsprettynice.去角质和黄瓜片的疗效就这么强Itsthehealingpowerofexfoliationandcucumbers.老弟看来你的下一球Well,oldboy,lookslikeyournextshot得打出个高球打到那边的水害isclearingthatwaterhazard这卜.这场比赛我赢定了whichIdeclarewillmakethismatchas
7、hoe-informe.我这强人可一点都不怕Yeah,notaconcernforthiscrustycrusher.找到最适合打比赛的铁球槌就行了Ijustneedtofindtherightkindofironforthejob.看球Fork!你的球好像跑远了Itappearsyourballhasabsconded,oldsport.应该得罚个点球了吧Perhapsapenaltyisinorder.你的脸怎么了Whathappenedtoyourface?什么意思Whatdoyoumean?你样子有点不一样fYoulookdifferent.是好的不一样吗1.ike.gooddiffe
8、rent?天啊Oh,boy.你一直都在抹面霜吗Didyouleavethatcreamonthewholetime?也许应该看看说明书Maybeweshouldvereadtheinstructions.用法少量使用用后2分钟擦掉完蛋了都两小时了Oh,picklejuice!Itsbeentwohours!你脸太放松了维持不住形状Yourfaceissorelaxed,itcantevenretainitsshape.没错你看Yeah,look.完了Oh,no!参考这个刚好放旁边的铜像来捏你脸Maybeareferencelikethisconvenientlyplacedbronzestat
9、ue应该就行了canhelpyou.试试不会怎么样Itcouldnthurt.等等Wait.半身像不遂了Whatabust.也许我可以修一下底部MaybeIcanjustfixthisbottompart.完蛋了Oh,picklejuice!往好的方面看你的新酒窝跟亮皮肤Ontheplusside,yournewdimplesandshinyskin可以显得你很快乐makeyoulookhappy.你觉得我现在这张脸很快乐吗Doesthislooklikethefaceofahappymantoyou?我调整一下1.etmejustadjustthis.好了Herewego.我脸上的表情Now
10、doesmyoutwardexpression有没有反映出我内心的愤怒echothedispleasuremfeelinginside?有Yeah.你之前的表情一点嘲讽都没有Yoursarcasmwaslostontheotherexpression.现在这个可强了Butyou,rerockingthisone.你们就只会给我惹麻烦Youguysarejustgettingintheway.我要去整容什么都阻止不了我mgonnagofixmyface,andnothingcanstopme.抱歉格斯先生我憋不住笑Sorry,Mr.Gus.Icantkeepastraightface.他憋得住H
11、esurecan.巨型写实风飞行老虎GiantRealisticFlyingTiger我用了你的放松面霜Iusedsomeofyourrelaxingfacialcream.这我知道我是来道歉的Iknow,Iknow.Icametoapologize.没错Oh,right.我的脸肯定害我一点诚意都没有了Myfacemustbeunderminingmysincerity.我只想今晚拍照可以好看点Ijustwantedtolookgoodformyphotoshoottonight.完蛋了Oh,picklejuice!这么晚了我得去拍照Thetime!Igottogettomyphotoshoo
12、t.但愿到那边可以恢复正常IhopethiswearsoffbythetimeIgetthere.突发消息Breakingnews.危险罪犯脱逃Dangerouscriminalbadguyontheloose.危险罪犯看到他请立刻报♥警♥Ifyouseehim,callthepoliceimmediately.完了我得摆出道歉的表情Oh,no.Igottoputonmyapologyface.请你出示证件1.icenseandregistration.我看看1.etmeseehere.格斯先生你知道我是谁吗DoyouknowwhoIam?完蛋Oh,pick-我很清
13、楚你是谁1knowexactlywhoyouare!让我好好下车我可以解释1.etmegetoutpeacefully.Icanexplain.车门好像卡住了Thedoorappearstobestuck.完蛋了Oh,picklejuice!他把警♥察♥给敲晕Thatguynon-fatallyknockedthatcopout!等等那不就是那个罪犯吗Waiisthatthebadcriminalguy?!抓住他Gethim!等等别Wait,no!停那不是我们在找的动物园出逃鳄鱼吗Isthatthezoosescapedgatorwevebeenlookingfor
14、?抓起来不就知道是不是了Ireckonweoughttocatchhimandfindout.干草叉店干草叉促销兄弟看牌子Hey,buddy,readthesign!勿踩干草叉兄弟你要去哪Buddy,whereyougoing?我们暴民想知道你有没有干草叉Usangrymobwerewonderingifyouhadanypitchforks.兄弟买♥♥干草叉Buddy,youbuyapitchfork就送免费火把andyougetatorchfreerightnow!卖♥♥你螺丝钉我宝贵的螺丝钉啊Mypreciousscrews!完蛋了
15、Oh,picklejuice.给我赔钱Yougottopayforthose!这下你真完了格斯先生Youreallydoneitthistime,Mr.Gus.快躲起来快躲起来Gottohide.Gottohide.好垃圾都在底下Allthegoodtrashisatthebottom.要来加入我们帮派吗Whattojoinourgang?好完美的犯罪Itstheperfectcrime.那个危险罪犯Thedangerouscriminalbadguy!那条鳄鱼Thegator!五金用品破坏者Thehardwarevandal!等一下Waitasecond.照相馆不好意思我是格斯先生Excus
16、eme.mMr.Gus.得去哪里拍照WheredoIgoformyphotoshoot?抱歉格斯先生Mybad,Mr.Gus.我都不知道你这么挫Ididnotrealizeyouweresodroopyinperson.给你找个造型师吧1.etsgetyouinwiththestylist,shallwe?肯定是在从下往上整Workingfromthebottomup,Isee.都准备好了Okay,wereallset,people.开始拍吧1.etsdothisthing!先补妆了再拍Donttakethephotowithoutsometouchup!鳞片与尾巴跟我预想中有所不同但拍完了照
17、后Well,itwasntwhatdhoped,butaftertheshoot造型师也确实帮我整了容thestylistdidhelpmefixmyface让我容光焕发withsomeimprovements.我找到了披萨史蒂夫Ifoundit,PizzaSteve!等等天才叔公Wait,UncleGrandpa.不会吧Oh,no!太可怕了Thehorror!你把他毁容了叔公Youruinedhisface,UncleG!他样子好丑Helookssougly!快给我照镜子Quick,somebodybringmeamirror.那是平凡的一天Itwasadayjustlikeanyother
18、day.侦探叔公公务私♥家♥侦♥探♥只是这一天不平凡Onlythisdaywasdifferentthanmostdays.我在处理-桩悬案dbeenonacasethathadnoendinsight.这个案子里的点就是连不起来Ijustcouldntconnectthedotsonthisone.连接各点这是谁呢我被难倒了Iwasasstumped好比一棵砍得只剩树桩的大树asatreethathadbeencutdowntojustthebaseofthetrunk.你要不就是能胜任这个行业Inthisbusiness,youree
19、ithercutoutforthejob就是这个行业裁了你orthejobcutsyouout抑或是行业里有你的纸板画像ortherescutoutsofyouonthejob.然而手工无法破案Butartsandcraftsdidntcrackcases.四处弥漫着忍♥冬与葡萄棒棒糖的气味TheairsmelledOfhoneysuckleandgrapelollipops.我不是很喜欢葡萄veneverbeenafanofgrape.但当困难来临时Butwhentimesgettough就要坦然接受现状youtakewhatyoucangetinthisworld.此时此刻她
20、进来了Thatswhenshecamein.你好侦探Hello,Detective.她有着我见过最长的睫毛Shehadthelongesteyelashesdeverseen但她的香水butherperfume有种衡户清洁剂跟陈年香肠的恶臭kindofreekedofwindowcleanerandoldsalami.我都说出来了吗msayingthatoutloud,arentI?没错但是Yes,but没事要吃棒棒糖吗Itdoesntmatter.CanIofferyoualollipop?好Sure.行Okay.你要棒棒糖吗Wouldyoulikealollipop?我看不出来都是什么口味
21、的Icanttellwhatflavorswhat.抱歉等一下Sorry.Hangon.可以了Thereyougo.谢谢Thankyou.不用谢Noproblem.我其实是来找你帮忙的mactuallyherebecauseIneedyourhelp.她似乎是那种会找你求助的贵妇Sheseemedlikethekindofdamewhowouldaskyouforhelp等你需要帮助了反而会害你无助thenleaveyouhelplesswhileyouwerelookingforhelp.那是什么意思Whatsthatsupposedtomean?我又把内心戏说出来了吗WasIthinkin
22、goutloudagain?不对是他说的No.Thatguywas.抱歉我要走了Sorry,llleave.大家都让我来找你破案Iwastoldtocomeseeyouaboutaproblem.不难看得出来Well,itdoesnttakemuchtosee两个独行侠的问题theproblemsoftwolonelypeople在这个独行的世界不足挂齿dontamounttoahillofbakedbeansinthislonelyworld.我都不知道那什么意思Idontevenknowwhatthatmeans.就是他老妈Thatshim,Mommy!就是他偷走了我的解密书Thatsth
23、emanwhostolemypuzzlebook!偷走Stole?!你不是要雇我破案的吗Ithoughtyouhiredmetosolveit.不对我之前是找你要笔No,Ijustaskedifyouhadapenonyou.那孩子很机灵Thekidwassharp.可不想让他玷污了你的名声Notthekindofkidyouwanttarnishingyourname.公务小丑好好好别玷污我名声了Okay,okay,stoptarnishingmyname!解密动物园还你解密书Heresyourpuzzlebookback.于是又一天就这么结束了Andsoanotherdaycometopass.又是一桩窃书案Anothercaseforthebooks.又是为了案子找一本书Anotherbookforthecase.连接各点又为了办公室放书架Anotherbookcasefortheoffice.我唯一能想象的就是AndwhatIcanonlyimagineas片尾职员表的华丽登场thebeginningofabeautifulcreditsequence.真是太好吃了Thatwasquitedelicious.
