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1、我真不敢相信我在和甜品姥姥一起IcannotbelievethatIameatingNanaSugar,scookies吃甜品姥姥做的饼干withNanaSugar.我妈妈和我曾经试过还原你的配方MymomandIusedtotrytore-createyourrecipe,但我们一直都不知道你的秘密原料是什么butWecouldneverfigureoutyoursecretingredient.亲爱的没人知道Oh,honey,nobodyevercould.酷太棒了谢丽尔TJ:Cool!Thatsawesome,Cheryl.那家伙是谁Sowhosthefella?他就是我跟你说过的那个体
2、育记者HesthatsportswriterIwastellingyouabout.那你为什么坐在这里跟我闹聊Well,whyareyousittingheregabbingwithme?只是他超级贴心的It,sjust,he,sthesweetestguy,对每个人都很好andhesnicetoeveryone.不过我一般不喜欢好人Andniceistypicallynotmytype.让我告诉你亲爱的1.etmetellyousomething,honey.Mm-hmm.女人总是认为她们需要一些前卫的东西Womenalwaysthinktheyneedsomethingedgy,但没有什么
3、比得上经典的巧克力饼干butnothingbeatsaclassicchocolatechipcookie.所以你觉得我可以和巧克力饼干在一起吗SoyouthinkIcouldbewithachocolatechipcookie?就像牛奶配饼干一样的天作之合1.ikeaglassofmilk.谢谢甜品姥姥你真是个好人Thanks,NanaSugar.You,rearealone.准备好让我发你的讣告了吗Areyoureadyformetosendoffyourobituary?一准备好了-好Iam.Okay.对了内尔秘密配方是Oh,and,Nell,thesecretingredient?是单
4、饱和谷氨酸盐It,smono-saturatedglutamate.我不知道这里有人呢Ididntknowsomeonewasinhere.又是我那个每天偷新♥闻♥办♥公室Itsmeagain,theguywho,sbeenstealing咖啡的家伙thenewsfloor,scoffeeeveryday.总有一天Youknow,atsomepoint,我会开始收你钱的mgonnahavetostartchargingyou.嘿我明天要给Hey,soIamcoaching办公室的垒球比赛当指导教练打KQUT新闻theofficesoftballgame
5、tomorrowagainstKQUT.我们队有卡尔梅森谢丽尔WegotCartMason,Cheryl.胜算看起来挺高很酷听起来很棒It,slookingreallygood.Cool,soundsawesome.是啊垒球很有趣我过去经常打垒球Yeah,softballsreallyfun.Iusedtoplayalot.嘿是吗Hey.Yeah?你明天想来打球吗Doyouwanttoplaytomorrow?绝对不想Absolutelynot.好吧Okay.好吧-好吧Okay.Okay.好吧Alright.好吧再见Well.goodbye.嘿怎么Hey.What?你干什么你为什么不答应Wha
6、tiswrongwithyou?Whydidntyousayyes?-我以为你喜欢他呢-我高中的时候也打过Ithoughtyoulikedhim.Iusedtoplayinhighschool,不过后来我的好胜心有一点太强了andIcouldgetjust-1getalittlebitcompetitive.但那都是20年前的事了Butthatwaslike20yearsago,所以我敢肯定你已经没那么厉害了somsureyourenoteventhatgoodanymore.-你刚刚跟我说什么好吧Whatdyoujustsaytome?!Okay!你好好看看我这腿脚你知道我能跑多快吗Have
7、youseenthesefeet?Doyouknowhowfast1canrun?再看看我这手臂Haveyouseenthesearms?好吧我明白你的意思了Alright.Iseeyourpoint.Mm-hmm.但是内尔他刚约你出去啊But,Nell,hejustaskedyouout.如果你没有在他关注你的五分钟内Andifyoudonotgiveaguyattention给予他关注withinfiveminutesofhimgivingyouattention,他就会生理上转移注意力hebiologicallymoveson.设太筷了-我知道我在抖音上看到的Thatsfast.Ikno
8、w.IsawitonTikTok.你还在复习现代年轻人是怎么约会的吗Youstillbrushinguponhowtheyouthdatesthesedays?是的所以我来做你的恋情教练好吗Yes.WhichiswhyIwillbeyourCrushCoach,okay?我要帮你阻止垒球怪物mgonnahelpyoukeepthesoftballmonsteratbay.所以当务之急是我们得让你重回赛场Sofirstthingsfirst,wegottogetyoubackinthegame.你是对的嗯Youreright.Yes.我要告诉他我也要加入mgoingtotellhimmin.对没
9、错加一点你自己的魅力进去-你说啥Yes!Putsomerizzonit.Comeagain?我真的不该上这么多网Ineedtostepawayfromsocialmediaforawhile.体育板块办公室的咖啡更棒Dennis:Thecoffeeonthesportsfloorisnextlevel.我们新♥闻♥办♥公室的咖啡太难喝了Ourcoffeeonthenewsfloorissonastyitisundrankable.是啊我不会喝的Yeah,mnotgonnadrinkit.嘿你明天有什么安排吗Hey,whatareyoudoingtomo
10、rrow?垒球比赛还需要一个选手Weneedonemoreplayerforthesoftballgame,我希望某人能接受邀请and1washopingsomeonewasgonnatakeit,但她没有中场表演的是谁butshedidnt.Whosthehalftimeperformer?如果是碧昂丝我就来如果是凯蒂派里那就算了!fitsBeyonce,min.IfitsKatyPerry,mout.不这只是和KQUT新闻的一场休闲比赛No,itsjustacasualgameagainstKQUTNews.你是说KQUT新闻啊DidyousayKQUT?对怎么了Um,yes?我以前就在K
11、QUT新闻工作IusedtoworkforKQUT.是的差点就在那里当上了空中播报员Yeah.Almosthadanon-aircareerthere.酷噢嗯应该会很酷的Oh,cool.Yes,itwouldvebeencool.本来会很酷的直到我的办公室恋情翻车Wouldvebeenverycool,untilmyofficeromancesoured我的前女友在我们分手后在我背后捅我刀子andmyex-girlfriendstabbedmeinthebackafterourbreakup毁了我在直升机上直播交通实况的andruinedallofmydreamsofreportingtraf
12、fic梦想livefromthechopper.幸运的是一切都解决了Well,luckily,itallworkedout.你现在有了丈夫和孩子Youhaveahusbandandkids.他们尽力做到最好了Andtheydotheirbest.但我一直梦想着能偶遇她ButIalwaysdreamedofrunningintoher当面斥责她andtellingherofftoherface,这是个绝佳的机会andthisistheperfectopportunity.好好我加入Yes.Yes,Iamin.我需要一只连指手套一只手套llneedamitten.Aglove.好吧Yeah,oka
13、y.嗨你找我吗Hey,so,uh,youwantedtoseeme?我有个大新闻要宣布Ihaveverybignews.爱德华和我明天晚上就要进行第一次约会了EdwardandIwillbehavingourfirstdatetomorrownight,我终于感受到第一次约会的紧张感了andIofficiallyhavefirst-datejitters.哇今天对本恋情教练来说是很忙的一天Wow.ThisisaverybusydayfortheCrushCoach.好吧这个很简单Okay,well,thisoneisano-brainer.假装你已经和爱德华睡了好几个星期了Justpreten
14、dthatyouhavebeensleepingwithEdwardforweeks.因为你已经和爱德华睡了几个星期了BecauseyouvebeensleepingwithEdwardforweeks.是的但约会要亲密得多Yes,butadateissomuchmoreintimate.萨姆我们得隔着桌子看着对方呢Sam,wehavetolookateachotherfromacrossatable.从菜单上点餐分吃一块沙拉Orderfromamenu.Splitanicebergwedge.分吃一块沙拉比那什么还亲密吗Isanicebergwedgemoreintimatethan.?萨姆
15、我打算花一整天准备Oh,Sam,Iplanonspendingtheentiredayprepping,吹发化妆美白牙齿mm-hmm.ablowout,makeup,teethwhitening.亚莱克西斯你知道报社明天要Alexis,didyouknowthatthenewspaperisplayingKQUT和KQUT新闻打垒球吗inasoftballgametomorrow?我不知道我马上去取消比赛1didnot.Illhaveitcanceledimmediately.取消不不不C-Canceled?No.你看我和电台的老板Yousee,vehadalongstandingrivalr
16、y莎伦达林森之间有着长♥期♥竞争withthestation,sowner,SharonDarynson.在鲁伯特默多克的白色派对上AtRupertMurdochsWhiteParty,她从我眼皮底下偷走了自助餐上的shestolethatlastshrimponthebuffet最后一只虾当时我都已经宣告了那只虾的主♥权♥了rightoutfromunderme.Ihadalreadycalledit.我知道你有多讨厌甲壳类归属权游戏Iknowhowmuchyouhateshellfishpowergames.所以我想让她看到我明天和我
17、女儿一起去出现在比赛现场SoIwanthertoseemeatthegametomorrowwithmydaughter.为什么因为她的孩子们很讨厌她Why?Becauseherchildrenhateher.我今天的约会准备就到此为止了Well,somuchformydayofdateprep,都是因为我和我父亲关系很好allbecauseofmywarmrelationshipwithmyfather.嗯Yeah.好吧我一直在思考Alright.vebeenthinkingaboutit,我改变主意了and1changedmymind.我真的很想参加比赛Idefinitelydowantt
18、obeinthegame.哦哦该死怎么啦Oh.UhOh,damn.What?我刚把最后一个名额给了丹尼斯IjustgavethelastspottoDennis.什么但你不介意What?Butyouwouldntmind把你的位置给内尔吧givingNellyourspot,wouldyou?介意我要走上球场No.Iamgoingtogooutontothatcourt,单凭一己之力赢得比赛single-handedlywinthegame,让珀尔尝尝我的厉害andgivePearlapieceofmymind.内尔我们明天会想你的Nell,wellmissyoutomorrow.好吧丹尼斯O
19、kay.Dennis,mgoingto我去给你找些垒球教程-谢谢getyousomesoftballtutorials.Thankyou.嗯Yeah.丹尼斯丹尼斯你搞什么啊DenniS.Dennis,whatthehell?1TJ想让我打球如果我不能进人球队TJwantedmetoplay.IfIdontmakeitonthatteam,一他就会从生理上转移注意力-哦我也看到那条抖音了he,sgonnabiologicallymoveon.Oh,IdidseethatTikTok.但是姑娘我不能支持办公室调情But,girl,Icannotsupportanin-officeflirtuati
20、on.怎么嘛-没人应该经历What?Nooneshouldhavetogothrough我和珀尔所经历过的事whatPearlandIdid.不用谢Yourewelcome.嘿明天球场见伙计Hey!Seeyouonthefieldtomorrow,buddyboy.我们到时候在休息区讨论加密策略Welltalkcryptostratinthedugout.谢谢体育版块Man:Thanks.Sports.梅森早上好Mason,goodmorning.所以我需要你明天在比赛队伍里的位置So,Ineedyourspotinthegametomorrow.哦不行小小内尔Ohh,nocando,Shme
21、llyNelly.领英说办公室之外的活动1.inkedlnsaysthatoutofofficeactivities是建立人际网络和建立arethenumberonewaytonetwork有意义联♥系♥的首选方式andmakemeaningfulconnections.我本不想这么做的但是1didntwanttohavetodothis,but,um.我知道有些事你不想公开Iknowsomethingsyoudontwantoutintheopen.比如什么九个字1.ikewhat?Threewords圣诞晚会包装纸蒂娜Christmasparty.Wrappin
22、gpaper.Tina.给你了Itsyours.哇我猜得好啊Wow,thatwasagoodguess.欢迎来到这场盛大的比赛公园的喧嚣WelcometothebiggamelTheRumbleinthePark,媒体之战thebattleofthepresses,KQUT新闻和南加州独♥立♥报之间的thefirsteverhead-to-headthrow-downbetweenKQUT第一次正面对决andyourSoCalIndependents.哦嘿看看你嘿OohlHey,lookatyou.Hey.这身行头表明你是正经运动员表明得对Thisoutfitsay
23、smaplayer,andmaplaya.对没错Iam.Yeah.但是我觉得我的队员们不太正经ButmnotsureIcansaytherestformyteam.卡尔在演空手道小子CarlsdoingKarateKid.露丝穿着勃肯鞋就来了RuthworeBirkenstocks.格雷格格雷格在这里做什么And,Greg,whatisGregevendoinghere?格雷格对蜜蜂过敏啊Gregisallergictobees!好的我们不关心这些Okay,sowerenotgoingtocareaboutanyofthat.我们要集中精力和TJ调情好的Wearegoingtofocusonf
24、lirtingwithTJ.Right.好好好好好好GotGgotit,gotit,gotit,gotit,gotit.天啊这口香糖可真大坨-嗯哼Ooh,boy,thatsalotofgum.Mm-hmm.这是怎么回事怎么了Whatsgoingonhere?What?这墨镜看起来像是八十年代的而且不是好的八十年代Theselookliketheyrefromthe80sandnotthegoodpart.那是我的幸运墨镜我戴着它带我的球队Thosearemyluckyshades.1tookmyteamtostatefinals-进了州决赛那你当年就不该把他们带同来inthose.Theysh
25、ouldhavestayedthere,okay?所以暂停注意听你的恋情教练说Sotimeout.PayattentiontoyourCrushCoach.好开始了专心啊Uh-huh.Okay.Therewego.Headinthegame.这些是你唯一需要关心的东西对吧Thesearetheonlyplaysthatyouneedtocareabout,alright?第一项叫做“看向别处”Thefirstoneiscalledthe1.ookAway.好我们要微笑Okay.Weregonnasmile.要笑Gonnalaugh.要把目光移开Weregonnalookaway.一这个我可以下
26、一项是抢分战术IcandothatNextupistheSqueezePlay这就是抢分战术-我知道抢分战术ThisishowtheSqueezeOh,IknowtheSqueezePlay.击球手击出手三垒跑垒员Thisiswhenabatterbunts,andtheguyonthird去尝试盗垒triestostealhome.别再想那个了Getthatoutofyourbrain太恶心了Thatisdisgusting.抢分（捏人）战术是这样的TheSqueezePlaygoesdownlikethis.好吧你摸一下Okay.Youdoatouch.捏一下Oh.Youdoasqueez
27、e.然后放手Ooh.Youdoarelease.我起鸡皮疙瘩了-我知道Ijustgotgoosebumps.Iknow!好吧谢谢你的训练Alright,well,thankyouforthetraining,-但别担心我能行的-嗯butdontworry,Igotthis.Yeah.今天的主角是我和TJ没错TodayisaboutmeandTJ.Thatsright.我甚至都不会去想mnotevengoingtothinkaboutthefact谢丽尔IE在外场拔蒲公英的事thatCherylisintheoutfieldpullingdandelions.谢丽尔你在搞什么啊Cheryl,wh
28、atthehellareyoudoing?1一起来这将会是一个漫长的赛季Getup!Thisisgonnabealongseason.谢丽尔起来站起来Toyourfeet,Cheryl!Toyourfeet.今天的比赛是新闻和垒球界名副其实的名人录啊Today,sgameisaveritablewhoswhoinnewsandsoftball.我想我看到了亿万富翁邓肯罗兹IbelieveIspotRajiIlionaireDuncanRhodes.多么有趣Howfun.没有扶手坐垫或靠背的Chairswithnoarmrestsorcushions椅子orbacks.哟哟哟Well,well,
29、well.这不是莎伦达林森吗IfitisntSharonDarynson.看看她穿着商务休闲装出现在我面前1.ookather,huh,showingupinherbusinesscasual,想让我难受tryingtomakemefeelbad,就好像我是个呆板与世隔绝的公♥司&hearts次佬likemsomekindofstiff,out-of-touchcorporatetitan.今天没门儿莎伦达林森Well,nottoday,SharonDarynson.哈Huh?帮我个忙帮我拿一下好吗Domeafavor.Holdthis,willyou?把热狗放下Puttheho
30、tdogdown.你在干什么Whatthehellareyoudoing?美牙套Whiteningtrays.今晚晚些时候我有个特别会议Ihaveaspecialmeetinglatertonight.把口腔用具离莎伦达林森远点KeepthemouthapparatusawayfromSharonDarynson.哇我喜欢这双鞋Wow,Ilovethecleats.谢谢是啊我的脚还是和高中时一样大Thanks.Yeah,mstillthesamesizeIwasinhighschoolYUU好吧Okay.伙计们过来Hey,team,letshuddleup.好吧我希望今天大家玩得开心Alrig
31、ht.Iwanttodaytobeallaboutfun.不管输赢我们都会玩得很开心Winorlose,we,regonnahaveagreattime.你们想打什么位置Mm.Whatpositiondoyouguyswanttoplay?我不在乎只要我有机会Idontcare,aslongasIgetthechance告诉我的前女友totellmyex-girlfriend她是一条偷走我生命的毒蛇就可以thatsheisalife-stealing,poisonousserpent.所以三垒吧行啊So.thirdbase?Yeah,sure.谢丽尔你觉得什么位置有趣DNTCheryl,wha
32、tpositiondoyouthinksoundsfun?嗯游击手听起来很可爱Well,shortstopsoundscute.ENDE听起来很像迷你煎饼而且我喜欢煎饼Itsoundslikeshortstack,andIlovepancakes.太可爱了Thatiscute.教练我只是好奇我真的很喜欢Um,Coach,just,uh-justcurious.I-1reallylove这种”不论输赢按乐趣选位置”的感觉the,like,win,lose,pickingpositionsforfunthing.而且我以前打球的时候Butalso,whenIusedtoplay,我们会根据球员的技
33、术给他们安排位置youknow,wewouldgivepeoplepositionsbasedontheirskills这样我们就有最大的获胜机会NDENsothatwehadthebestchanceatwinning.内尔很有激♥情♥我喜欢Nellbringingthefire.1likeit.是的你想去哪个位置Oh.Rah.Yeah.Wheredoyouwanttoplay?对我来说无所谓但是游击手吧Oh,itdoesntmattertome,but-Shortstop.对不起谢丽尔Sorry,Cheryl.好吧你去游击手吧耶Okay.Youcanhavesh
34、ortstop.Yay.谢丽尔我想你会发现二盆Cheryl,Ithinkyouregonnafind有很多乐子的secondbasealotoflaughs.听起来不像迷你煎饼啊Doesntsoundlikeshortstack.我们开始热身吧好1.etsgoaheadandwarmup.Yeah.我想我喝了三到四瓶之类的IthinkIhavethreeorfourbottlesorsomething.哦上帝莱克西来了Oh,God.1.exi,shere.你为什么不去陪她坐坐呢Whydontyougositwithher?我不能-为什么Icant.Why?我为我们的第一次约会veprepare
35、dtwohoursworthoftopics准备r够说两个小时的话题todiscussonourfirstdate大学电影college,movies,最喜欢的陆地哺乳动物应该够用到吃完甜点favoritelandmammalshouldgetusthroughdessert.但今晚之前我可不能ButIcantaffordtoburnthroughanyofthese一把这些都先用掉-我相信你自然beforetonight.msureyouwill会找到话题的comeupwithsomethingtotalkaboutnaturally.开放式谈话不在我的舒适区里Openconversatio
36、nisntreallyacomfortablespaceforme.如果我了解女人IfIknowwomen,莱克西肯定想让你坐过去1.exidefinitelywantsyoutocomeoverthere.哦请不要过来Oh,pleasedon,tcomeoverhere.去啊-请不要过来Goon.Pleasedontcomeoverhere.看看她1.ookather,huh?想玩心理游戏Tryingtoplaythemindgames.呵那我可要上钩了莎伦达林森Yeah?lltakethebait,SharonDarynson.你好莎伦我没看见你在这儿Hello,Sharon.Ididnt
37、seeyouhere.我看见你看见我了所以你撒谎了Isawyouseeme,sothatsalie.电视新闻那边怎么样啊So,howsTVnews,huh?不好意思法律允许你Oh,msorry,areyoulegallyallowed把你喷在屏幕上的东西叫做“新闻”吗torefertowhatyousprayalloverthescreenasnews?我们的数据从来没有这么好过Ournumbershaveneverbeenbetter.印刷新闻那边怎么样它是还在等着被淘汰Howisprintjournalism?Isthatstillcirclingthedrain,还是已经被社会淘汰了or
38、didsocietyalreadyflushit?我们还坚持得住那是因为我97岁的Wereholdingourown.Thatsbecause哮喘奶奶还在myasthmatic97-year-oldgrandmother订阅你们的报纸stillsubscribestoyourpaper.她用它来给她那只玄风鹦鹉接屎Sheusesittolinehercockatoosbirdcage.她大小便失禁我是说鸟不是我奶奶Shesincontinent.Thebird,notmygrandmother.奶奶的身体可健康了Grandmasastightasadrum.你知道吗你和你奶奶Youknowwh
39、at?Youandyourgrandma想怎么侮辱我就怎么侮辱我caninsultmeallyouwant,但我觉得你们今天输了之后butIdontthinkyouregoingtobesofullofyourselves就不会这么得意了whenyoulosetoday.哦真的吗既然你这么肯定会赢Oh,really?Well,ifyouresosureyou,regoingtowin,为什么我们不打个小赌whydontwemakealittlewager好给这一切加点趣味呢tomakethisgamealittlebitmoreinteresting?打个虾赌不r谢谢Alittleshrimp
40、wager?No,thanks.我们打个大赌吧莎伦达林森1.etsgojumbo,SharonDarynson.让我们看看观众里都有谁1.etsseewhowehaveinthecrowd.有情侣来拍接吻镜头吗Anylovebirdsforthekisscam?你好啊-你好啊Hello,there.Hello.这是垒球哈So,thisissoftball.是的我喜欢Yes.Ilovehow.它这么户外outsideitis.你要在大庭广众之下这么做吗Youregonnadothatrightouthereintheopen?你是警♥察♥吗Whatareyou,aco
41、p?咱们家姑娘怎么样了Howsourgirldoing?她看起来有点紧张Sheseemsalittleintense.内尔嘿内尔Nell!Hey,Nell你搁哪儿瞎比划什么呢Whatthehellkindofsignisthat?把你的辫子拉到肩上Pullyourbraidoveryourshoulder.那样看起来真的很可爱Itlooksreallycutethatway.就像这样准备好了吗1.ikethat.Youreadytoplay?戴生来就准备好了-好Iwasbornready.Good.哦-因为我觉得这场比赛PEOh.Causemgonnacallthisgame会比甲虫屁&hea
42、rts;股♥缝还紧张tighterthanabeetlesbuttcrack.你会后悔抢了我位置的Youregonnaruethedayyoustolemyspot.我会在你的梦里缠着你Iamgonnahauntyourdreams.击球-天啊Batterup!Geez.开打Playball!她现在来了说着莫妮莫妮JHereshecomesnowsayinMonyMonyJ你出局了Man:Youreoutl看起来不错啊塞拉诺1.ookinggoodoutthere,Serrano.谢谢Thanks.来吧莫妮JComeonMonyJ干得漂亮卡尔Greatjoboutthere,Ca
43、rl!嗯保持下去我的意思是手套戴好Yeah.Keepitup.Itbeingyourglove这样你就不会错过容易抓到的球了好吗sothatyoudontmisseasyflies,okay?内尔Sam:NelH我的意思是我相信ImeanIbelieveinyourability你有能力用你的手和眼睛touseyourhandsandyoureyes!你想喝一口吗想Youwantadrink?Yes!因为你让我觉得J,CauseyoumakemefeelJ安全上垒什么Mason:Safe!What?1安全上垒安全上垒你逗我呢Safe?1Safe?1Areyoukidding?1你看到我看到的了
44、吗还安全你知道什么不安全吗DidyouseewhatIsaw?Safe?Youknowwhatsnotsafe?你不安全梅森所以你今晚最好睁一只眼睡觉Yourenotsafe,Mason.Soyoubettersleepwithoneeyeopen,你这个臭youlittlebi-i-漂亮男孩beautifulbabyboy.南加州独♥立♥报的开局不太顺利啊Ah,roughstartfortheSoCalIndependents.看看看台上有没有人得分1.etsseeifsomeonescoredinthestands.你有没有Haveyou.看过什么好电影seen
45、anygoodmovies?对Yes.尴尬咯Awkward.现在轮到丹尼斯辛博-琼斯上场了Andnowuptobat,DennisSimbeauxJones.你能行的丹尼斯好吗Yougotthis,Dennis,okay?别紧张你先过去Pearl:Easyout!Youjustgetonfirst,老内尔会带你的andoNellysgonnatakeyourightonhome.放松点-我今早Easyout!Youknow,1already已经教训过珀尔了toldoffPearlthismorning.哦淋浴的时候Nell:Oh!Intheshower.在我的脑海里说的实际卜.进行得很顺利Inmyhead.Itactuallywentreallywell.你洗澡的时候上垒了呜Mm.Didyougetonbaseintheshower?因为我需要你这么做Causeth
