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1、Unit5TheTapestrjrofFriendshipEllenGoodman1 Itwas,inmanyways,aslightmovie.Nothingactuallyhappened,11erewasnobig-budgetchasescene,nobloodyshoot-out.Thestoryendedithoutanycosmicconclusions.2 YetshefoundClaudiaWeillsfilmGirlfriendgentleandaffecting.Slowly,itpannedacrossthetapestryoffriendship-showingits
2、fragility,itsresiliency,itsroleastheconnectingtissuebetweenthelivesoftwoyoungwomen.3 Whenitwasover,shethoughtaloutthemoviesshehadseenthisyear-Julia,TheTiinungPointandnowGirlfriends.Itseemedthatthepeculiareye,thesociallensofthecinema,haddrasticallyshifteditsfocus.SuddenlytheMaleBuddymovieshadbeenrepl
3、acedbytheFemaleFriendshipflicks.4 Thiswasntjustanotherbingeoftrendiness,butakindofcinemawrite.Foroncethemovieswerereflectingashift,notjustfrommentowomenbutfromonedefinitionoffriendshiptoanother.5 Acrossmillionsofmilesofcelluloid,theidealoffriendshiphadalwaysbeenmale-aworldofsidekicksand-partnersofBu
4、tchCaSSidySandSundanceKids.Tlierehadbeensomethingalmostatavisticaboutthesevisionsofattachments-asifproducersculledtheirplotsfromsomepopanthropologybookonmalebonding.Moiesportrayedtheideathatonlymen,thosedirectdescendantsofhuntersandHemingways,inheritedaprimalcapacityforfriendship.Incontrast,theyport
5、rayedwomenpickingoneachother,thewaytheyoncepickedberries.6 Well,thatdualitymusthavebeenmortallywoundedinsomeshootoutattheYoureOK,nOKCorral.Now,onthescreen,theywereatleastawareofthesubtledistinctionbetweenmenandwomenasbuddiesandfriends.7 About150yearsago,Coleridgehaditten,Awomansfriendshipbordersmore
6、closelyonlovethanmans.Menaffecteachotherinthereflectionofnobleorfriendlyacts,whilstwomenaskfewerproofsandmoresignsandexpressionsofattachment.8 Well,shethouglt,onthewhole,menhadbuddies,whilewomenhadfiiends.Buddiesbonded,butfriendsloved.Buddiesfacedadversitytogether,butfriendsfacedeachother.11herewass
7、omethingpalpablydifferentinthewaytheyspenttheirtime.Buddiesseemedtodothingstogether;friendssimply-were-together.910111213141516171819Buddiescamelinked,likeaccessories,tooneactivityoranother.Peoplehavegolfbuddiesandbusinessbuddies,collegebuddiesandclubbuddies.Menoftenkeeptheirbuddiesinthesecategories
8、,whilewomenkeepaspecialCategOryforfriends.Amanoncetoldherthatmenweren,trealbuddiesuntiltheyhadbeenthroughthewarstogether-corporateorathleticormilitary.Therhadtosoldiertogether,hesaid.Women,ontheotherhand,didntuntthemselvesasfriendsuntiltheyhadsharedthreeIOathSOrneconfidences.Buddieshangtoughtogether
9、;friendshangontoeachother.ItprobablyhadsomethingtodoWithpride.Youdon,tshowofftoafriend;youshowneed.Buddiestrytokeeptheworstfromeachother;friendsconfessit.AfriendOfhersoncetelephonedherIoverJusttofindoutifhewashome.ShehungupwithoutahelloWhenhepickedupthephone.1.ater,wretchedWithCnibarrassnwnt,thefrie
10、ndmoaned,wCanyoubelieveme?Athirty-five-ycar-oldlawyer,makingachickenCalI?TOgethertheylaughedandmacleitbetter.Buddiesseekapproval.Butfriendsseekacceptance.Sheknewsomanymenwhohadbeentrainedinrestraint,afraidofeachothersjudgmentorawkwardWitheachothersaffection.Shewasntsurewhich.1.ikebuddiesinthemoieslt
11、heywoulddieforeachother,butneverhugeachother.ShehadrereadBabbillrecently,thatCxtraordinanrcatalogueofmalegrievances.,heonlyrelationshipthatgavemeaningtotheclaustrophobiclifeofGeorgeBabbitthadbeenwithPaulRiesling.Butnotonceinthetragedyoftheirliveshadonebeenabletosaytotheother:Youmakeadifference.Evenn
12、owmenshockedherattimeswiththeirdescriptionoffriendship.Doesthisonehaveabestfriend?7Vhy,ofcourse,weseeeachothereveryFebruary.Doesthatonecallhismostintimatepallongdistance?Why.certainty,wheneverthcre,sarealreason?DothosetwooldchumsCVerhavedinnertogether?Youmeanalone?Withoutourwives?Yet,thingswerechang
13、ing.Theidealofintimacywasntthisparallelplaymate,thistearnnatc,thistrenchrnatc.NoteveninIIollywwd.Inthedoublestandardoffriendship,foroncethefemaleversionwasbecomingacceptedasthegeneralideal.Afterall.abuddyisatinelife-companion.Butonesfriends,asSantayanaoncewrote,*arcthatpartoftheracewithwhichonecanbe
14、human.”友情面面观埃伦古85受1 从多方面看来,这是一部不足挂齿的小制作电影.平淡无奇。没有大成本制作的追逐员面,没有血相的枪战.故事结尾也没得出什么意味深长的结论.2 然而她还是觉得克劳迪娅R尔的电影女华友?温婉动人。它缓缓地向我们呈现了友俏的全貌一一它的脆斑、生命力,以及它连接两个年轻女子人生的纽带作用。3 电影放完了,她回想起这一年看过的几部电影一一茉莉亚机4转折点还有现在这部女挚友h似乎电影作品镜头这一特别视角已经大大变更了聚焦对象。一转瞬出俩好的电影已经被反映出蜜友情的影片所泞代。4 这并不仅仅是另一场时尚狂欢,而是一种实录电影的潮流.就这一次电影反映一种转向,不只是从男性转向
15、女性,而是从友情的一种定义转为另一种定义。5 纵观数百万英里长的电影胶片,友情的志向主角总是男性一一满世界都是类似布奇R西迪斯及其铁母们山丹胆基德斯这样的密友、同伴的故事.这些形影不离的银幕形望似乎是来自远古社会一一故事情节似乎是制片人从诠择男性间亲密关系的人类学通俗读物里选取出来似的。影片诠择了一个观点,即只有男性一一那或猎人和海明喊式硬汉的传人一一才维承了对于友情的原始的实力.相反,女人的总是被描绘成相互挑刺.就似乎她们从此选择装果那样.6 哦,那种两面性在OK牧场怆战中肯定己经受了致命的枪伤了。现在,在银窑上,他们至少意识到男人作为哥们、女人作为闺密的微妙区分.7 大约150年前,柯助律
16、治写道:“比起男性,女性的友情更接近爱恋.男性之间相互影响体现在亲高或友善的举动中,而女性不须要这么多实实在在的例证,却须要更多依恋之情的外在表羯。”8 好吧.她想,总体来说,男人行肉们女人有闺春.母们相互关联,闺蜜相互宠爱。哥们共同面对逆境,但闰也直面彼此。明显,两者共度时间的方式互不相同。哥们似乎一起做”事阳蜜只不过“在”一起。9 哥们像同伙一样靠各种活动联系在一起.人们有一起打高尔夫的哥们.有商场上的部们,高校时的哥们和俱乐部的哥们,男人常常按这些类别给哥们归类,而女人们把阕密特地归类。IO一个男人曾经告知她男人不会成为真正的肉们,除非他们曾经“并将作战”一一在商场上,运动场上,或是战场
17、上.他说,他们得在一起当兵打仗才成-男一方面,女人们除非共享了3个讨人嫌的隐私之后才视彼此为周蜜。11哥们在一起共渡难关,倒蜜则相互依然。12或许这和自尊有点关系.对个闺资,你不会炫辘.你只会告之你的须要.哥们相互把以槽耗的状况藏得掖着,阳室会相互倾诉苦痛。13她一个闺蜜有一次给情人打电话,就是想确认他是否在家他刚把电话接起来她就挂心事后.这个挚友觉褥很楂尬.哀叹道:“你信叫?一个35岁的律加打这种偷偷携摸的电话?”她们一起哈哈大笑,这样感觉好一些了。14哥的追求相互认同,而闺室追求相互接受。15她相识很多男人.这些人在自我克制方面训练有素。他们胆怯来自彼此的看法,若彼此宠爱也很不自由.她不消
18、昭是哪种状况.就像电影中的哥们,他们情愿为对方献诞生命.却从来不彼此拥抱,16最近她也读了巴比特*.这是关于男人难处的非凡作品.乔治巴比特过着幽闭恐惊症的生活,唯一令他这种生活有意义的人际关系来自保罗里斯令.然而在他们悲剧性的生活中没有任何一个人时对方说过一次这样的话;有了你,我的生活与过去不一样。17即使现在她有时还是会对男人关于友情的描述蹲到能惊,这个人有最要好的挚友吗?“怎么啦,当然啦,我们每年2月都会见面.”那个人会给他最好的挚友打长途电话吗?“怎么啦,当然啦,好次直的有5的话就会打不。”这两个老弟友Zl的在一起吃过饭吗?“你意思就两个人?不带上各自的老婆?”18然而.状况正发生着变更.亲密的志向状态不是这种平行式的玩伴、队友、战友关系.即便是好茶坦影片也不是。在友情的双丞标准下,就这一次这种女性版本的友情作为普遍志向正在被人的接受.19哥们终归是很好的终身伙伴.但正如桑塔雅筋曾经写下的那样,人们的挚友是种族中与之结交后人们就可成其为人的那部分人”.