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1、,荷塘月色,作者简介,朱自清（18981948），原名自华、号秋实，改名自清、字佩弦；现代著名散文家、诗人、学者、民主战士。 他的散文朴素缜密、清隽沉郁、语言洗炼、文笔清丽、极富有真情实感；以独特的美文艺术风格，为中国现代散文增添了瑰丽的色彩，为建立中国现代散文全新的审美特征创造了具有中国民族特色的散文体制和风格。 主要作品有背影春桨声灯影里的秦淮河荷塘月色 欧游杂记等。,译者简介,朱纯深，英国诺丁汉大学博士，现为香港城市大学中文、翻译及语言学系教授，长年从事与翻译有关的教学研究工作。主要译作有：自深深处古意新声似余（煜）者死 等。 杨宪益戴乃迭夫妇，著名翻译家。合作翻译全本红楼梦、全本儒林外
2、史等多部中国历史名著，在国外皆获得好评，产生了广泛影响。,作品背景,本文写于1927年7月，那时作者在清华大学教书 文中所写的荷塘即在清华园。当时正值“四一二”政变及大革命失败，白色恐怖笼罩着中国大地。同当时大多数有良知、有社会责任感的人们一样，作者也处于苦闷彷徨中，他想投身革命，却有太多的顾虑和犹豫；他选择了逃避，却又在矛盾中挣扎。在如此复杂的心绪之下，他借景抒情，写出了这篇著名的荷塘月色，通过对夏夜荷塘景色的描绘，表明了自己对时局的担忧和内心矛盾的心情，表达了对自由的向往。,题目：荷塘月色朱译：Moonlight over the Lotus Pond杨译：The Lotus Pool B
3、y Moonlight,对于题目的翻译，二者都具有音律美。朱译“荷塘上洒满的月光”，强调的是moonlight；杨译“月光笼罩下的荷塘”，突出的是lotus pool。本文主要表现的是月光下的荷塘美景，所以杨译更好。,第一段：这几天心里颇不宁静。今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。,朱译：I have felt quite upset recently杨译：The last few days have found me very restless,句法角度：原文虽未直接表明人称，但可读出主语是“我”。朱译以第一人称为主语，贴近原文；杨译则以第三人称
4、“the last few days”作主语，尽显英文的物称倾向。,（选词角度） upset: afflicted with or marked by anxious uneasiness or trouble or grief; thrown into a state of disarray or confusion 表示陷入了一种彷徨困惑焦虑不安的状态，心情难以平静;而restless: unable to relax or be still; worried and uneasy 简单表示精神不能放松，焦虑，结合作者的写作背景，upset更能体现作者当时的心境。,第二段：没有月光的晚上，
5、这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。,朱译：The foliage, which, in a moon- less night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil.杨译：On nights when there is no moon the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quit
6、e clear, though the moonlight was pale.,greyish (grayish): 浅灰色的；微带灰色的veil: 面纱；面罩pale: 苍白的；暗淡的对于“淡淡的”翻译，朱译用“a thin, greyish veil”, 将抽象词语具体化，“veil”一词将月光朦胧梦幻的感觉刻画地淋漓尽致，使读者有种身临其境的感觉；杨译用“pale”一词，也可表情达意，但不及朱译。,第三段：这一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。,朱译：This bit of the universe seems in my possession now.杨译：I
7、felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine .,对于“天地”的翻译，杨译用“whole earth and sky”, 朱译则用“universe”,后者比前者范围更广，更能表达出作者对自由的憧憬。,对于“是我的”翻译，朱译用“my possession”, 杨译用“mine”,而“possession”具有“个人财产、私人财物、领地”的意思，结合作者当时的心境，更能使读者感受到作者渴望自由光明的期望，故朱译更好。,第四段：曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。,朱译：All over this winding stretch of water,
8、 what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves.杨译：As far as eye could see, the pool with its winding margin was covered with trim leaves.,关于“田田的”翻译, 朱译为“silken field”. “silken”一词易使读者想象到荷叶层层，错落有致，微风拂过，荷叶轻摇的美景，兼顾到了触觉和空间印象, 使句子琅琅上口, 极富节奏感;而杨译用“trim”（整齐的)略显平淡，不及朱译。,第四段：叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。朱译： Th
9、e leaves, which have been standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught trembling in an emerald heave of the pond.杨译： As the closely serried leaves bent, a tide of opaque emerald could be glimpsed. (1) Tremble : to shake slightly Serried:（literary）standing or arranged closely together in rows or lines朱译
10、 shoulder to shoulder 似乎是局部看到的场景，杨译用serried描绘荷塘整体的感觉，荷叶多且茂盛。,2) heave（especially literary）a rising and falling movementOpaque: not clear enough to see through or allow light throughopaque 又是将“凝碧”一词中的“凝”字发挥的淋漓尽致。朱译trembling描述局部荷叶的动态； heave 则将整体动态体现无疑， 将trembling 和heave 结合是局部与整体描写的完美体现，各有千秋。,第四段：叶子底下是
11、脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更见风致了。朱译：Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view，and none can tell its color; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.杨译：That was the softly running water beneath, hidden from sight, its color invisible, though the leaves looked more grac
12、eful than ever.Analysis： (1) Exquisite: delicate and sensitive Soft: pleasant gentle and comfortable.这里exquisite 没有将文中“脉脉的”表达出来，脉脉有默默和温情的意思，后者译成softly就好多了，而且用running 修饰water ，将水的动态表现出来了。,第五段：月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。,朱译：The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers.杨译：Moonlight c
13、ascaded like water over the lotus leaves and flowers.,Liquid: 1)existing as or having characteristics of a liquid; especially tending to flow 2)clear and bright 在句中修饰“月光”除了有液态的意思外，还有清澈明亮的意思。用liquid一词，月光的流动，清澈，灵性就跃然纸上了。Cascade: rush down in big quantities, like a cascade 强调像瀑布一样倾泻而下，不太符合原文中表达的月光静静洒在荷
14、塘上的意思。,第五段：叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样；又像笼着轻纱的梦。,朱译：look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.杨译：A light blue mist floating up from the pool made them seem washed in milk or caught in a gauzy dream.bath 有浸泡、沐浴 之意，体现出月光犹如少女出浴之娇媚， 美不胜收，媚而不妖。而wash 仅有“清洗”之意，较之于 bath，逊色不少。W
15、rap：有“包裹”之意，动作意味过于浓烈，置于此时安详、宁静的之氛围中，略少几分贴切。,第六段：月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，峭楞楞如鬼一般；弯弯的杨柳的稀疏的倩影，却又像是画在荷叶上。,朱译：The moonlight is streaming down through the foliage, casting bushy shadows on the ground from high above, dark and checkered, like an army of ghosts; whereas the benign figures of the droo
16、ping willows, here and there, look like paintings on the lotus leaves. 杨译：As the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves.,(1)本句描写了哪两种树影的哪些特点？ 灌木参差的
17、斑驳的黑影。“参差”是长短、高低、大小不齐的意思。 “斑驳”的原意是指一种颜色中杂有别的颜色，这里指影子深浅不一。灌木株距密，枝干不分明，所以用“参差”、“斑驳”写其黑影，显示了黑影的长短不齐，浓淡相宜，描绘明确恰切，给人以美感；杨柳稀疏的倩影，说明距宽 。因此朱和杨戴的译文中用的checkered都是正确合理的，checkered在牛津高阶英汉双解词典中的解释为：varied, with good and bad parts，也就是包含了参差和斑驳两种意思在里面了。但从翻译的句子形式来说杨戴的译文更好。,第六段：这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们的，我什么也没有。,朱译
18、：But the liveliness is theirs, I have nothing.杨译：But this animation was theirs alone, I had no part in it.,朱译属直译，符合原文；而杨译把作者不能参与其中的无奈与感伤表现了出来，使读者更能理解作者当时心情。,经典原文（段落）,沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊(wng)郁郁的。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的 。,美感层面,Alongsi
19、de the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond. On the side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with
20、 some others whose names I do not know. The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil. （朱纯深译文）,动感美：run、frequent、interlace、loom 韵味美：peaceful、secluded、solitary、lush、shady 比喻手法：a thi
21、n, greyish veil .,经典原文（段落）,曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜(nio,nu)地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动，像闪电一般，霎时传过荷塘的那边去了。叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉(m)的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更见风致了。,美感层面,All over this winding stretch of wate
22、r, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace. Here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms, some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, or twinkling stars,
23、or beauties just out of the bath. A breeze stirs, sending over breaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building. At this moment, a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and flowers, like a streak of lightning, straight across the forest of lotuses. The leaves, which have bee
24、n standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught trembling in an emerald heave of the pond. Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view, and none can tell its colour; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.（朱纯深译文）,音韵效果 (节奏美）： stirs-sending-singing； breeze-breaths-buil
25、ding； fragrance-faint-from； drifting-distant； sending-singing-building； streak-straight； leaves-like-lightning-lotuses.,体会,翻译要结合作者的时代背景翻译不必拘泥于原文的结构，可采用合译等方法调整译文结构翻译时不用追求什么高深的词汇，选择运用最为贴切原文意境的词语即可翻译要尽量保持原文风格翻译没有最好，只有更好，我们要在赏析名家译作的过程中不断学习。,散文翻译原则,1、文气贯通,气韵生动 英国散文翻译家 Hilaire Belloc(希莱尔贝洛克)为文学散文翻译制定了6 条原
26、则，认为翻译的本质是异地之魂假借本地之躯的复活 (The essence of translating is the resurrection of an alien thing in a native body) ,强调散文的翻译不能拘泥于原文之字句,要视段落或部分为整体。翻译要“以意译意( translate intention by intention) ”2、 传神写照“意,气,文”三位一体 在散文翻译中,我们要想译得曲尽其妙,须得传神地摹写作者的气质神韵。每一个作者有每一个的个性特点、气质精神,着手翻译之前,要先对作者进行深入的研究,把握其时代背景、人生经历、创作风格等,这样的翻译方能做到传神达意,否则,难免貌合神离。 “美”是散文翻译的重点。,参考文献,1石琼洁,郭兰英.荷塘月色两个英译本对比赏析基于读者反应论J.吉林省教育学院学报,2010,(03):112-114.2朱纯深. 翻译探微: 语言. 文本. 诗学M . 南京: 译林出版社, 20083戴成社. 5荷塘月色6赏析 J. 教材研究, 2004, ( 1): 56- 57.,谢谢,
