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1、有关女人的经典幽默句子1 如果一个女人想要一件钻石头饰，她会解释那样会省下一顶帽子钱。 If a woman wanted a diamond tiara, she would explain that it was to save the expense of a bonnet. 创新句子：妻子对丈夫说：我就要这个钻戒算了，我想给你省一副手套钱。 2 我只知道一个女人不想要金子她拿走了钻石。 I never knew but one woman who would not take gold - and she took diamonds. 创新句子：我不喜欢钱，喜欢钻石。 朋友请客，让你点
2、菜，你说：来份龙虾，我想给你省盘儿醋溜白菜的钱。 打车时这样劝自己：打车还能省下坐公共汽车的钱。 3 如果你是个女人，你就会知道女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。 If you were a woman youd know that the most difficult five years in a womans life are from twenty-nine to thirty. 注：女人调侃自己怕老：女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。 4 女人只能保守一个秘密她的年龄。 A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her a
3、ge. 创新句子：我不愿意告诉你我已经30了。 5 只要女人看起来能比她女儿还年轻10岁，她就非常满意了。 As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. 创新句子：谁希望比自己的女儿还年轻10岁？ 6 不允许杀死伤害过你的女人，但什么也禁止不了你去想她每一分钟都在变老。 You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to refl
4、ect that she is growing older every minute. 创新句子：我允许你想我一天天变老。 7 “我想知道他是不是知道如何把女人锯成两半，”Larry(人名)沉思着说，“我的意思是，这样你就可以只要有功能，但不讲话的那一半了。” “I wonder if he knows how to saw a woman in half,” said Larry thoughtfully. “I mean, so that you can get the half that functions but doesnt talk.” 注：丈夫嫌女人唠叨，女人回答：要不你找个魔术
5、师把我锯成两半，你只要会做饭但不说话的那一半。 8 “你曾经在办公室工作过，是不是，Jill(人名)？”一次一个女权主义者热切地问我，“男人骚扰过你吗？” “骚扰过，”我回答，“但还远远不够。” “You worked in an office once didnt you, Jill?” a feminist 男女平等主义者 once asked earnestly.热切地 “Did men ever harass骚扰 you?” “Yes,” I replied, “but not nearly enough.” 创新句子：你骚扰过女权主义者吗？ 9 没有什么比女人直接对着坛子喝酒更缺少女
6、人味的了。 There is nothing less feminine than a woman drinking out of a jug. 创新句子：你喜欢直接对着酒瓶子喝酒的女孩儿吗？ 10 二十年的浪漫使一个女人看起来象一座废墟，二十年的婚姻使她象一座公共建筑之类的东西。 Twenty years of romance浪漫 make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. 创新句子：那二十年的浪漫婚姻呢？ 11 女人的风流韵事就象
7、乘于洪水的潮汐，流向上帝知道是什么地方。 There is a tide in the affairs of women Which, taken at the flood, leads - God knows where. 创新句子：人生象一条河，人生象一场梦，人生象一杯茶，人生什么都象。 12 世界上还有比给女人号脉更糟糕的职业呢。 There are worse occupations职业 in the world than feeling a womans pulse. 创新句子：女人调侃自己情绪多变：我感到生活枯燥无聊时，就给自己号脉。 13 没有丑女人，只有不会打扮的女人。 The
8、re are no ugly women; there are only women who do not know how to look pretty. 创新句子：别人都夸我长得漂亮，但从不当面夸我。 14 女人非常敏感，她们甚至能听到和闻到不存在的东西。 Women have such keen senses they can even smell and hear noises that dont exist. 创新句子：我也是这么敏感，有人说我多疑。 15 女人有一种奇妙的本能：除了显而易见的事情，她们什么都能发现。 Women have a wonderful instinct本能
9、 about things; they can discover anything except the obvious.显而易见的 创新句子：你的观察力不错，除了显而易见的事情，大部分你都能看清事物的本质， 16 女人总是激励我们干大事，又是她们阻碍我们去实现。 It is often woman who inspires 激励 us with the great things that she will prevent us from accomplishing. 创新句子：希望男人成就事业，又希望男人在家多陪她。 我太太一直激励要我做大事，现在我的酒量一天天长起来了。 17 对夸奖没有感
10、觉的丑女人大自然很难造出来。 Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible 无知觉的 to flattery upon her person. 创新句子：别人夸我英俊我也会很高兴，虽然还没人这么夸我。 18女人通常选择愿意选择她的男人。 Generally the woman chooses the man who will choose her. 创新句子：花心男人说：我愿意选择一个感觉我愿意选择她的女人。 19 女人总是在附笔里写出自己的想法。 A woman seldom writes her mind but
11、 in her postscript. 创新句子：顺便说一句，你还该我10块钱呢。 20 我妻子有闭月羞花之容，但在这点上我不屑于同别人辩论。 My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. 创新句子：我妻子很漂亮，我不想同你们争论。 21 一个女人站在门口谈了20分钟，她没有时间进去。 A woman stands 20 minutes talking at a door because she hasnt time to come in. 创新句子：我不想占你太多的时间，因为我很忙。 22 大多数女人只是当丈夫在睡梦中
12、嘟嘟囔囔时才全神贯注听他们说话。 The only time most women give their orating husbands undivided 专心的 attention is when the old boys mumble 咕哝 in their sleep. 注：妻子说梦话时，丈夫也很专注。 23 女人唯一不喜欢的金制品是沉默。 The only golden thing that women dislike is silence. 注：沉默是金。 24 她昨天晚上粉擦得太多，衣服穿得太少，对女人来说那常常是一种绝望的迹象。 She wore far too much r
13、ouge last night and not quite enough clothes; that is always a sign of despair in a woman. 注：浓妆艳抹就是对自己没有信心。 25 女人对秘密有两种看法：一是它不值得保存，二是它太好了不能保存。 A woman has two views of a secret. Either its not worth keeping, or its too good to keep. 创新句子：为什么要保守秘密？ 26 男人不应该对妻子有秘密，她总能发现他的秘密 No man should have a secret
14、 from his wife; she invariably finds it out. 创新句子：妻子渴望发现丈夫的秘密，更渴望发现没有秘密。 27 女人有时侯对由她无情地引起的悲伤感到同情。 A woman sometimes feels pity for the sorrows that she causes without remorse. 注：先甩了男人，再表示同情。 28 一个女人的姿态是另一个女人的毒药。 One womans pose姿态 is another womans poison. 注：东施笑颦。 29 年轻早已经成了她的一个习惯，她跟年轻分不开了。 Youth had
15、 been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it. 创新句子：我已经习惯年轻了。 30女人的直觉对男人来说通常只不过是透明的东西罢了。 What passes for womans intuition 直觉 is often nothing more than mans transparency.透明 创新句子：表达谦虚可以说“我的直觉对你来说不过是透明的东西“； 表达骄傲可以说：“你的直觉对我来说只不过是透明的东西。” 31 女人的直觉是百万年来不思考的结果。 Womens intuition is the r
16、esult of millions of years of not thinking. 创新句子：我的直觉是我多年不思考的结果。 32 女人不是为购买艺术着迷，而是为画廊里嘈杂的声音着迷。 A woman is fascinated 着迷 not by art buy but by the noise made by those who are in the art field. 33 房间里一个男人等于大街上的两个。 A man in the house is worth two in the street. 注：模仿： 一鸟在手等于二鸟在林 A bird in hand is worth
17、two in the bushes. 到手的东西才是自己的 34 女人第一次结婚是为了爱，第二次是为了找个伴，第三次是为了获得供给，剩下的只是出于习惯了。 A woman marries the first time for love, the second time for companionship, the third time for support, and the rest of the time just from habit. 注：有这样的女人。 35 如果有很多人都象她，那点儿库存光环早就用光了。 If there were many more like her, the s
18、tock 库存 of halos would give out. 创新句子：如果人人都象她那么成功，成功的光环早就用光了。 36 漂亮女人是眼睛的天堂，钱包的地狱。 A beautiful woman is paradise 天堂 for the eyes, hell for the purse. 37 我非常喜欢和女人在一起，喜欢她们的美丽，喜欢她们的风情万种，喜欢她们的活泼可爱，还喜欢她们的沉默。 I am very fond of the company of ladies; I like their beauty, I like their delicacy, I like their
19、 vivacity, and I like their silence. 38 女人会对她的第一个情人长时间地保持忠诚除非她碰巧弄到了第二个情人。 A woman is faithful to her first lover a long time - unless she happens to take a second. 创新句子：我会一直忠于你的，如果实在找不到第二个情人的话。 39 你搞不清她这身装束是去听歌剧呢，还是去做手术呢。 You couldnt tell is she was dressed for an opera 歌剧 or an operation. 40 不管是什么东
20、西只要女人认为商店赔钱了她都要买。 It makes no difference what it is, a woman will buy anything she thinks a store is losing money on. 创新句子：大减价时老太太买了两双旱冰鞋，老头对老太太说： 这回商店可赔惨了。 41 女人的胃口很大程度上由环境决定。 The size of a womans stomach depends largely on her surroundings.环境 创新句子：我喜欢在干净的环境里吃饭，旁边不能有猪圈什么的。 42 女人有时侯会为她的罪忏悔，但我从没见过承认自
21、己错误的女人。 A woman will sometimes confess her sins, but I never knew one to confess her faults. 43 女人必须选择：和女人都喜欢的男人在一起不安全；和女人不喜欢的男人在一起，不快乐。 A woman must choose: with a man liked by women, she is not sure; with a man disliked by women, she is not happy. 44 美女的窃窃耳语比责任的大声疾呼传得还要远。 The whisper of a beautifu
22、l woman can be heard farther than the loudest call of duty. 创新句子：亲爱的，我为了你上刀山，下火海也甘心情愿，你让我把我的旧电视机捐给贫困山区，我也愿意。 45 女人用她们的弱点来武装自己时最强大。 Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. 创新句子：男人都喜欢怜香惜玉，你也不例外。 46 她失去了贞洁丢掉的？她带着贞洁在森林散步，遗弃了它。 Losing her virginity贞洁 - losing it? Shes taken it for a walk in the woods and abandoned遗弃 it. 注：她是故意失身的吗？
