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1、书面表达讲评,三门中学 黄敏,假设你是星光中学的李华，将参加主题为“Lets Ride Bicycles”的英语演讲比赛。请撰写一份演讲稿，主要内容包括：1.目前汽车带来的空气污染和交通堵塞等问题；2.骑自行车的益处，如节能环保、有利健康等。参考词汇：低碳生活（low-carbon life）;节能(energy saving)注意：1.词数：120字左右演讲开头结尾已给出，不计入总词数。Good morning,everyone,I am LiHua from Xingguang Middle School.The topic of my speech is“Lets Ride Bicycl
2、es”,Good morning,everyone,I am LiHua from Xingguang Middle School.The topic of my speech is“Lets Ride Bicycles”.As is know to us,with the development of the economy,cars have become a popular way of transport,while it take some problems such as air pollution and traffic jams.Most people knew what is
3、 the low-carbon life,but why people still pollute enviroment?In my oppion,use the bike to work instead car is a good way to save energy.Besides,use the bike can make our body more stronger.I hope everyone in the earth should take action to improve situation.why not to do it?,分段,时态,拼写,语法,影响给分的主要因素：文中
4、所采用的语言材料,人靠衣装文靠词装,Polishing,A.Words and expressions,B.Sentence patterns,C.Linking words and phrases,2、词组优先原则,4、弃旧取新原则,A.Words and expressions,四项基本原则,1、地道原则,四项基本原则,1、地道原则,四项基本原则,2、词组优先原则,1、地道原则,四项基本原则,2、词组优先原则,四项基本原则,4、弃旧取新原则,四项基本原则,4、弃旧取新原则,3、同义多样原则,四项基本原则,1、地道原则,原文Driving cars has taken some proble
5、ms such as air pollution and traffic jams.improve Driving cars has caused/led to/resulted in many problems such as air pollution and traffic jams.,2、词组优先原则,原文Riding bicycles can help us protect environment.improve Bicycles are environmentally friendly because they dont produce harmful gases.,3、同义多样原
6、则,原文 Riding bicycles is good for our health.improve1.We can benefit from riding bicycles.2.Riding bicycles is beneficial to our health.,4、弃旧取新原则,原文 With the quick development of economy,improve With economy progressing in a flash,two wheels,一、肯定不如双否好,二、陈述不如倒装巧,三、单句不如复句妙,四、从句不如短语傲,B.Sentence patterns
7、,四个“不如”,原文It is a good choice for us to ride bicycles.improve There is no doubt/denying that riding bicycle is a wise choice.,We cannot emphasize(强调)the importance of protecting environment too much.translation 再也不为过,一、肯定不如双否好(double negative),原文 we should take action to improve our current situatio
8、nimprove Only by taking action should we improve our current situation.,二、陈述不如倒装巧(inversion),原文 cars have become a popular way of transport.It brings us convenience to our life.improve it using attributive clauseCars have become a popular way of transport,which brings us convenience to our life.,三、单
9、句不如复句妙(compound sentences),四、从句不如短语傲(phrases),improve Cars have become a popular way of transport,which brings us convenience to our life.Further improve Cars have become a popular Way of transport,bringing us convenience in life.,原文 When we face the problems,how can we solve it?improve Facing/faced
10、 with the problems,how can we solve it?,C.Linking words and phrases,有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑,Good morning,everyone,Im Li Hua from Xingguang Middle School.The topic of my speech is“Lets Ride Bicycles.”Introduction:As we know,air pollution and traffic jams.Faced with the problems,Body:For one thing For
11、anotherConclusion:Therefore,Ladies and gentlemen,Lets Thank you!,Read this composition again.First correct the mistakes and then polish it according to what you have learnt in the class.,Good morning,everyone,I am LiHua from Xingguang Middle School.The topic of my speech is“Lets Ride Bicycles”.As is
12、 know to us,with the development of the economy,cars have become a popular way of transport,while it take some problems such as air pollution and traffic jams.Most people knew what is the low-carbon life,but why people still pollute enviroment?In my oppion,use the bike to work instead car is a good
13、way to save energy.Besides,use the bike can make our body more stronger.I hope everyone in the earth should take actions to improve situation.why not to do it?,Good morning,everyone,Im Li Hua from Xingguang Middle School.The topic of my speech is“Lets Ride Bicycles.”As we know,with economy progressi
14、ng in a flash,cars have become a popular means of transport,bringing us convenience in life.However,they have caused some problems such as air pollution and traffic jams.Faced with the problems,how can we solve them?There is no denying that riding bicycles is a wise choice.,For one thing,bicycles ar
15、e environmentally friendly because they dont produce harmful gases.For another,riding bicycles is beneficial to our health.Therefore,only by taking action can we improve our current situation and create a low-carbon life.Ladies and gentlemen,Lets do it together right now!,Summary,词汇选择地道新颖，出奇制胜;,句型结构灵活多变，错落有致;,连接词运用自然巧妙，行文流畅,language（correct beautiful),handwriting(neat beautiful),Enjoy writing Enjoy learning English,Homework:,Read your own composition again.Correct the mistakes if there are any and then polish it,using writing assessment to give marks by your yourself.,
