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1、The Feeling of Being Important 【Abstract】 In our daily life, there are various pursuits we are chasing for. Some are basic and elementary; some are difficult and advanced. For we human beings, the feeling of being important is an advanced and prolong thing we want to possess. But all kind of people
2、cannot think totally alike. Not all will think the positive way to fulfill their value, to reach their destination. They adopt different ways to achieve what they wish to be.【Key Words】 feeling of importance; motivations; adoptive ways; sincere appreciationsThe feeling of being importantI. The few t
3、hings that we do wish, we crave with an insistence that will not be denied.I1. Health and the preservation of life.I2. Money and the things money will buy.I3. Life in the hereafter.I4. The well-being of our children.I5. A feeling of importanceII. Why do people desire the feeling of being important;
4、the motivations.III. How do we get a feeling of importance?III1. Historical famous persons.III2. The ways around us.III3. Why do they use insanity to arouse peoples attention?IV. Honest and sincere appreciation is the basic element of self-important.I. IntroductionHave you think about what the highe
5、st layer of self-value is? As for us, what will be the most important thing?After researches, we have gradually found that there are seven wishes which we crave with an insistence that will not be denied. Some of the things most people want include: health and the preservation of life, food, sleep,
6、money and the things money will buy, life in the hereafter, sexual gratification, the well-being of our families, and a feeling of importance. With every layer gratified, they may come up with newer and upper requirements. Almost all these wants are usually fulfilled, all except one. That is what Im
7、 going to elaborate-the“desire to be important.”John Dewey, one of Americans most profound philosophers, phrased that the deepest urge in human nature is “The desire to be important”. Lincoln once begin a letter saying,“Everyone likes a compliment.” William James said，“The deepest principle in human
8、 nature is the craving to be appreciated.” He didnt speak of the “wish”or the“desire” or the “longing” to be appreciated. He said the “craving” to be appreciated.Obviously, the point and the final goal of everything we have done are to achieve self-value, being important and being appreciated. Every
9、 gratification made us look forward to next satisfaction and appreciation. Not only the philosophers in the history, the famous people in the world, but us now. We need to achieve ourselves, to become importance. The adversities and setbacks which we have been through and taught us to be stronger th
10、an before should pave the way to be feeling of importance.II. The motivations of people who desire the feeling of being important.I have already asked my fellows why they want to be important. Some persons said it was evolvement, God decided us to be like this. Some said that it was desire what drov
11、e us. We are longing for somebodys admiration and achieving our self-worth, even to be the limelight within the public. Thats our ordinary and common thoughts, isnt it?I have been told that Sigmund Freud had said generally that everything you and I do springs from two motivates: the sex urge and the
12、 desire to be great.But in my opinion, I want to add something to the desire to be great. Speak of the desire to be great, there are three branches of it. Firstly, in order to understand knowledges, master skills, elaborate and solve problems systematically on their own initiative, they aimed at the
13、 acquisition and the satisfaction of knowledge. We called this cognitive drive. Secondly, it just comes from your inner mind that you want scholastic achievements or the need of status and prestige. These kinds of persons have their eyes and minds fixed upon the position and vanity. We named this eg
14、o-enhancement drive. The last one is affiliated drive. This kind of person just focuses on the compliments from fellows, praises from teachers, and the commendations from their elders.But I think “motivation” is a neutral term. It has nothing to do with goodness and badness. In other words, whatever
15、 your target will cause, contribution or destruction, its all because the motivation. Everyone have their own ways to achieve goals and do what they firmly believe that was right way to be important.On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt New York City had ever known had come to its climax. The
16、 police were looking for the “Two Gun” killer Crowley. Finally, he was at bay, trapped in his sweethearts apartment on West End Avenue. Over a hundred policemen and detectives laid siege to his top-floor hideaway, they smoked out Crowley with tear gas and mounted their machine guns. With the crack o
17、f pistol fire, Crowley surrendered eventually. But how did “Two Gun” Crowley regard himself? “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one-one that would do nobody any harm.” When he arrived at the death house in Sing Sing, he was sentenced to the electric chair and said, “This is what I get for d
18、efending myself.” Apparently, he didnt think he had done wrong, anything wrong. He told himself and the world he just defended himself. From his point of view, defending himself is the one thing that can achieve his importance. Because he thought protecting himself is the way to be important. Becaus
19、e he thought himself important.III. The ways we get a feeling of importance.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals. To illustrate: one of my friends is a farm boy. His father bred fine hogs and pedigreed cattle. He told m
20、e that his father and he used to exhibit the livestock to show throughout the village, and they won the first prize for the fine livestock. The hogs didnt care about the prizes they had won, but his father did. These prizes gave him a feeling of importance.I have thought that if our ancestors hadnt
21、had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would have been impossible. Without it, we should have been just about like animals.History sparkles with amusing examples of famous people struggling for a feeling of importance. It was desire for a feeling of importance that inspired
22、Charles Dickens to write his immoral novels. This desire made Sir Christopher Wren to design his symphonies in store. George Washington wanted to be called “His mightiness, the President of the United States”. This desire makes you want to follow the fashion tendency, to wear the latest styles, poss
23、ess a bag with world brand. But things always have the duality. It is this desire that tempts many boys and girls join into gangs or engage in criminal activities.Nowadays people sometimes became invalids in order to win sympathy and attention, in order to get a feeling of importance. Lets take Mrs.
24、 McKinley whose husband was William McKinley, the 25th president of the United States, as an example. She got a feeling of importance by forcing her husband to neglect important affairs of state while he reclined on the bed beside her for hours at a time, his arm about her, soothing her to sleep. Sh
25、e held her gnawing desire for attention by insisting that he still with her while she was doing everything like going to the dentists. Or she will create a storm scene when her hubby was to leave her alone for his work. This situation we may usually experience in our daily life. Many people show the
26、ir disadvantages and weaknesses to the public that may won others attention or controversy. After causing a dramatic turmoil, relevant departments will pay more attention to them, and take care of them. The society also will sympathize them. Wining the sympathy is the purpose and the desire of impor
27、tance for them.IV. Honest and sincere appreciation is the basic element of being important.Once a story happened in Connecticut. A janitor who was doing a very poor job was always jeered and littered the hallways by the other employees to show him what a bad job he was doing. What did his supervisor
28、 do? She, the supervisor who is responsible for him, tried various ways to motivate this person. She noticed that occasionally he did a particularly good piece of work. She made a point to praise him for it in front of the other employees. Gradually, he started doing all his work efficiently. Now he
29、 does an excellent job and other people give him appreciation and recognition.In other words, hurting people not only does not change them, sometimes will destroy their feelings of importance.There was an old saying that I have cut out and pasted on my diary where it can remind me everyday:I shall p
30、ass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now, let me no defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.Honestly, everyone appreciate to be important on the position they stand. We try our best to achieve the
31、 feeling of being important. Even though we adopt different or unacceptable ways, but its the way we choose to fulfill, to reach the highest layer of our value which we think of is the suitable way.Some people prefer to be insane, to try to gain sympathy and attention. On contrary, some will fulfill
32、 or reach their goal by their own hands, by the demand they made. Different ways were used by different kinds of people. But being important sometimes also need extraneous factor, like others honest praise and sincere appreciation. It is the motivations you encourage yourself keep on going.【Referenc
33、e】Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People. Published in 1937.The Finantial post, April 24 2008.How to Put Magic in the Magic Formula in1946.Alan Garner：Conversationally Speaking. Published in 2004.Samuel Smiles: Self HelpThe Secret: Rhonda Byrne李开复:与未来同行 2006.10.1罗伯特科利尔:做最好的自己.重庆出版社2010.4.1
