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1、英语作文如何修改,青浦一中 朱守哲 leeden_tisa,“My Way to Learn English”,As we all know,English learning is more and more important.Its a big problem to improve our English.I used to be poor at English.But after trying many useful ways,I make some progress.I was poor at reciting.To slove this problem,I write down th
2、e words list.I read it when I am waiting for the bus or waiting in line.After using this way and working hard,my English has improved a lot.What a useful way to learn English.,简析,写英语学习方法也是十分热门的考题。这篇文章中规中矩，思路较为清晰，语法也没有错误。但在考场上也拿不了高分，以上海2012中考评分为例，本文最多是7+8+2=17分。这篇文章要修改，主要可从以下几个问题上入手：语言平平无奇、繁琐；句式单一；缺少
3、复合句；缺少中心句；接下来我们一个点一个点地来修改。,1,As we all know,English learning is more and more important.Its a big problem to improve our English.As far as Im concerned,Its such an urgent problem to learn English well because of the wider use of English.润色语言（改换已经用烂了的短语）；添加复合句（because of）,2,I used to be poor at Engli
4、sh.But after trying many useful ways,I make some progress.I was poor at reciting.语言重复繁琐且单调。改：I used to be poor at reciting English words.注：使用了方法并取得进步可以放在后文进行具体的交代。,3,To slove this problem,I write down the words list.I read it when I am waiting for the bus or waiting in line.改换成更为自然的介词短语，并改换其在句中的位置（为
5、了突出“我”所用的学习方法）。此外简化语言。I try writing down the words list and carry it with me so as to memorize them efficiently and go over them anytime.,4,After using this way and working hard,my English has improved a lot.语言繁琐却不能表达中心。改：With the help of this useful way and my hard work,I make big progress in my En
6、glish learning.注：看似句子变长了，但是将时间状语改为介词短语，更加能突出这种学习方法对我的帮助之大。而且后半句明确点出我获益于这种方法。这句话也成了全文的中心句！,5,What a useful way to learn English.这种结尾真是太不给力了，一点都不出彩。如果放在一篇好文章的结尾显得虎头蛇尾，很有可能会影响阅卷老师的最后评分。改：Therefore,why not try the way yourself to improve you English.使用提议的句型能在总结的基础上发出呼告。,改后范文,As far as Im concerned,Its s
7、uch an urgent problem to learn English well because of the wider use of English.I used to be poor at reciting English words.I try writing down the words list and carry it with me so as to memorize them efficiently and go over them anytime.With the help of this useful way and my hard work,I make big progress in my English learning.Therefore,why not try the way yourself to improve you English.,SEE YOU！,In summary：作文的修改还是要多读多感知，写完考场作文后一定要再通读几遍，检查语法。尽量还是先打好草稿，这样检查语法同时，润色语言，再誊抄到答题纸上才能发挥自己的最高水准。青浦一中 朱守哲,
