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1、必杀打打开机挖挖猴挖挖猴DigChamps!鸟哥Dude.这可能是我这辈子看过最逼真精美的电玩Theseareprobablythebestgraphicsveeverseeninmylife.阿天这跟封面一模一样耶Dude.Itlooksjustlikethecover.太棒了Oh,man.朋友来玩吧Dude,letsplayit.这种游戏不能一拆开就直接玩Youcantplayagamelikethisrightoutofthebox.我们要先暖身一下Weshouldstretchitoutfirst.我可不想扭伤筋骨Wedontwanttopullourhammies.你懂我的意思吧Kn
2、owwhatmsaying?你干什么？Hey,whatareyoudoing?开始了Starting.快点选你的角色吧Hurryupandpickyourcharacter.什么我要当玩家一Aw,what?IwantedtobePlayer1.阿天我是玩家一你是玩家二Dude,mPlayer1,yourePlayer2.我不想当玩家二啦IdontwannabePlayer2.他只会拿十字镐挖Hejustdigswiththepickaxe.我要那个拿铲子的Iwanttheonewiththeshovel.他们都差不多啦Dude,theyreexactlythesame.那你怎么不当玩家二？Th
3、enwhydontyoubePlayer2?我才不要用呆呆十字镐mnotusinthatpickaxe.看吧See.阿天冷静一点Dude,calmdown.来玩打打看谁可以当玩家一1.etsplayPunchiestoseewhogetstobePlayer1.好吧Fine.玩家一就是我啦1.ookslikemPlayer1.不行这不公平No.It,snotfair.你每次都赢我Youalwaysgetyourway.来玩打打*LetsplayPunchies.我受够了msickofit.我怎么可能打得过你OfcoursemnotgonnabeatyouatPunchies.阿天你从来没赢过任
4、何人Dude,youdontbeatanybodyatPunchies.我明明赢过一并没有Yes,1do.-No,youdont医生快一点Quick,Doctor,两片屁屁都糊掉了无法辨识bothofthesebuttcheeksareunrecognizable.以后要让别人看得出来是屁屁的话Ifwewantanybodytobeabletorecognize.thisasabuttinthefuture.我们就要立刻进行人工屁屁移植thenweregoingtohavetodoacompletebutttransplant,一立刻进行一不要再说了stat.-Stoptalking!你明明知
5、道糊掉的只有一边的屁屁Therewasonlydamagetotheonecheekandyouknowit.对喔Thatsright以前我们都叫你单边屁屁王WeusedtocallyoutheOne-CheekWonder.阿天我想起来了Dude,mbringingitback.最好不要Youbetternot.这不是单边屁屁王吗？IsthatOne-CheekWonder?希望他记取屁屁受伤的教训别再玩打打了IhopehesnottryingtoplayPunchieswithcheekslikethat.闭嘴啦不要再看了啦Shutup.Dontlookatthem.我玩打打会赢的等着瞧l
6、lwinatPunchies,youllsee.臭鸟哥我恨你DumbMordecai.Ihateyou.你的臭脚T最好不要踩我的床Youbetternotbemessingupmysideoftheroom.电♥话♥簿这样糟蹋我Youreruiningmylife!笨电♥话♥簿Stupidbook?杀拳道DeathKwonDo?快来学杀拳道让你立刻学会拳打脚踢必杀技1.earnkicks,chops.andpunchesinmoments.今天就完全解放你的潜能Unlockyourfullpotentialtoday.好耶Yes.杀拳道馆
7、好感人的故事我没骗你Itsatouchingstory,reallyitis.可是你还没做好练杀拳道的准备ButIdon,tknowifyou,rereadyforDeathKwonDo.为什么？Whynot?杀奉道重点在自我防卫DeathKwonDoisallaboutselfdefense.但是听起来你只想揍人Butfromthesoundofityoujustwanttohitharder.没有随便教我几招就好了No.Canyoujustteachmesomething?有决心我喜欢Determination,Ilikethat.好吧我就教你初学者自卫基本功Okay,llteachyou
8、somebeginnerdefensivemoves.你只要从这本秘笈选几个招式Allyougottadoispickfromthesacredtext.杀拳道秘笈就能学杀拳道ofDeathKwonDo.可以先教你练必杀健美绝招1.etssee,wecouldstartyouoffwithBicepFlexofDeath.不然来练抬腿必杀技Orthere,stheLegLiftsofDeath.那是很棒的基本功Thatsagoodbeginners*move.或者必杀骨盆俯冲Orthepelvicthrustofdeath.那是我个人最爱之一Thatsoneofmypersonalfavori
9、tes.我要练那招Thatone.ThatstheoneIwant.必杀拳TheDeathPunch.真不好意思那不适合初学者That,mafraid,isnotforbeginners.为什么？What?Why?因为你只想用它来揍朋友Becauseyouonlywanttouseittobeatupyourfriends.你心术不正Yourenotpureofheart.不要说我心术不正What?Don,tcallmenotpureofheart.你顶着那个蠢发型Whataboutyouwithyourstupidmullet?你才心术不正Youretheonewhosnotpureofhe
10、art.够rThatsIt.我现在要背向你然后数三次必杀数mturningmybackonyouandcountingtothree.ofdeath.等我转身回来你就完了AndwhenIturnbackaround.youretoast.一个必杀数Oneofdeath.两个必杀数Twoofdeath.不要No!师♥父♥Sensei?好像有人对马桶用了必杀技IthinksomebodyjustDeath-Kwon-Clogged-The-Toilet.不要No!#超越巅峰因为你只是凡人#要学会忍♥耐的凡人#试着相信关关难过#但是你要撑到关关过#过去有无数
11、见证#努力就能成功#不要怀疑自己#用力实现梦想#你永远最强#打败你只是幻想#你永远最强#该验收必杀拳的成果了Timetotakethisbabyforatestdrive.不会吧老兄Oh,no,bro.轮到你了鸟哥Yourenext,Mordecai.好了阿天不要再赖皮了Allright,Rigby.Crybabytimesover.去吃东西吧我请客Comeon,letsgogetsomefood,mbuying.什么？Aw,what?阿天Rigby.他得付出代价Hesgonnapayforthis.杀奉道？DeathKwonDo?你在哪里鸟哥？Whereareyou,Mordecai?我要跟
12、你玩打打IwannaplayyouPunchies.先生有没有看到鸟哥？Hey,mister,haveyouseenMordecai?没有谁是？No,whois.有没有看到他？Haveyouseenhim?看到谁？Seenwh.那你呢？Howboutyou?你以为玩打打能够赢过我吗？SoyouthinkyouregonnabeatmeatPunchies?告诉你一件事Igotnewsforyou.我知道你的秘密了Iknowyourlittlesecret.接下来换这脚Nowmassagethisfoot.可是刚才按过那只了ButIalreadydidthatone.再按一遍啊Thenrubit
13、again.除非你想要挨必杀拳Unlessyouwannagetpunchedagain?棒棒伯凉风吹到哪里去了AndPops,whatswiththeeasybreezy?扇快一点Speeditup.没看到我的胸毛快要烤焦了吗？Mychesthairareroastingdownhere.尚青看到鸟哥没有？MuscleMan,doyouseeMordecaiyet?我什么都看不到Icantseeanything.我在这里阿天mrighthere,Rigby.给我Gimmethose.看样了你练了几招杀拳道嘛1.ookslikeyoulearnedthewaysofDeathKwonDo.看样
14、子你只学会说多余的话1.ookslikeyouknowhowtosaythingsthatpeoplearealreadyawareof.随便啦你打不过必杀拳的Whatever.YoucanthandleTheDeathPunch.听起来像是在下战帖Thatsoundslikeachallenge.因为我的确在下战帖Thatsbecausemaybeitisachallenge.那你还赖在上面干什么？Well,thenwhatareyoudoingupthere?尚青看到鬼MuscleMan.HighFives.抬我下去Carrymedown.小心一点别让我摔下去Dontdropme.Beca
15、reful.歪了1.eaning.这里放我下来Here.Setmehere.你练了什么招？Whatmovedidyoulearn?有种来试试看就知道了Whydontyoucomeoverhereandfindout?怎么会？What?你怎么没被打死？Howcomeyourenotdeadyet?因为我练了不死功ProbablybecauseIlearnedTheDeathBlock.不死功第一次使出来还满有用的Itworkedprettygoodforafirsttry.不然就是你的必杀拳实在太逊了EitherthatoryourDeathPunchtotallyblows.打扁你Illkil
16、lyou.你玩打打永远都赢不了我YourenevergonnabeatmeatPunchies.你到底打完了没有？Areyoufinishedyet?我非打扁你不可NotuntilIsmashyou.怎么了一点点岩浆你也怕What?Areyouafraidofalittlelava?朋友别再闹了Dude,thisisserious.再不逃就来不及了Wegottagetouttahere.我不要我要玩打打赢过你Never.NotuntilIbeatyouatPunchies.阿天住手我们会死的Dude,stop.We,regonnadie.管你的我恨透你老是赢我Idontcare.msickof
17、youalwayswinning.我要赢你才要停mnotquitting,til1win.你赢TYougotme.Yougotme.你赢可以停了吧？Youwin.WehavetostopnowcauseIlost我就说一定会赢你吧Itoldyou1wasgonnawin.模了吧Inyourface.我终于可以当玩家一了IfinallygettobePlayer1.你就是为了这个？What?That,swhatthisisabout?你只是想当玩家一？YoujustwantedtobePlayer1?对啊不然呢？ThatsallIeverwanted.阿天玩家一永远让你当Dude,youcant
18、otallybePlayer1.不要再哭了玩家一都让你当了Dude,quitcrying.IsaidyoucanbePlayer1.我知道Iknow可是现在当玩家一有什么用but,whatgoodisbeingPlayer1now?我们现在要死在岩浆里了Werejustgonnadieinthislava.放心阿天Dontworry,dude,我可以救我们俩出去Icangetusawayfromthelava.真的吗？怎么救？Really?How?你以为我会笨到只偷练一招杀拳道招式？Youthinkmdumbenoughtoonlysteal.oneDeathKwonDomove?什么？你想要
19、用哪一招逃出去呢？What?-Now,howdoyouwannagetouttahere?必杀跳还是必杀吐？TheDeathJumporTheDeathDump?太猛了Sick.还是必杀跳好了Bettergowiththedeathjump.抱紧咯Holdontight.你们看1.ook!杀奉道馆没错Whyyes,sir.我的必杀跳跟必杀吐秘笈就在IhaveTheDeathJumpandTheDeathDumprighthe.不要No!挖挖猴挖挖猴DigChamps!好耶终于可以玩了Aw,yes.Itsfinallyhappening.对啊你这次耍无赖终尸成功了Yep,foroncebeingahugebabyactuallyworkedoutforyou.你闭嘴Stoptalking!阿天快点认真玩啦Dude,justhurryupandplay.反正你一开打就会立刻死掉Yourejustgonnadierightatthebeginninganyway.看我的llshowyou.玩家一开始什么？What?蜗牛是坏人？我以为是好人Snailsarebad?Ithoughtsnailsweregood.你错了蜗牛是坏人No,dude,snailsarebad.可恶烂透了Oh,man.Thissucks.我要当玩家二IwannabePlayer2.待续谢谢观赏
