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1、亲爰的霍华德假期不顺我想你想你亲吻我我很快飞回家爱你的米歇尔霍华德鸭收玛盛顿湖滨路3636号♥邮编10031亲爱的我是妈妈听着我知道你忙于新工作Hi,honey,thisisyourmother.Listen,Iknowyoureverybusywiththenewjob但还是要尽量给我们打电♥话♥butpleasetryandcallus.收到我们寄的生日毛衣了吗Didyougetthebirthdaysweaterwesent?我们整个周末都在家拜拜Wellbehomeallweekend.Bye.霍华德我是吉姆我们周六还去打壁球吗？Howard,
2、Jimhere.WestillsetforracquetballonSaturday?哥们给我电♥话♥拜拜Givemeashout,buddy.Bye-bye.嗨我是温迪霍伊我昨晚做了个激♥情♥春梦Hi,itsWendy.Ihadthisreallyintensedreamlastnight,Howie.我的手指穿过你的羽毛突然之间Iwasrunningmyfingersthroughyourfeathers,andallofasudden.你最好今晚过来我让你看看Well,youbettercomeovertonight.接下来到底发生
3、了什么.andllshowyouwhatreallyhappenednext.拜拜霍伊Ciaofornow,Howie.嘿欢迎接续收看里基主持的疯狂舞蹈太兴奋了Hey,RickysbackwithyouagainforlotsmoreDanceFrenzyexcitement!有请三号♥夫妇来自威德福德瀑布的可爱拉丁舞队Herescouplenumberthree,ourlovelyLatindanceteamfromWedfordFalls.查尔斯是海军一级机械师CharlesisaMachinistFirstClassintheNavy他亲爱的妻子玛琪是21点发牌员andhi
4、sdarlingwife,Madgejsablackjackdealer.超棒的运动舞蹈查尔斯和玛琪Justasuperjockdance.CharlesandMadge!来吧我们掌声欢迎-乔治怎么了Comeon,letshearforthem,folks.-Whatsthematter,George?股癣乂发作了我来推荐个好东西Jockitchagain7vegotjustthething.给你何不试试新的短裤喷雾Here.WhynottakeashotofNewShortsBlaster?保证能消灭羽毛真菌It,sguaranteedtowipeoutfeatherfungus.就算是最灵
5、活的胯下也不在话F短裤喷雾ineventhemostactivecrotches.-ShortsBlaster.此外你还赢了一辆新车Inaddition,youvewonanewcar!但不仅如此漂亮Butthatsnotall.-Nice.哦弗雷德我太爱你了Oh,Fred,Iloveyousomuch.疼死了他死了Ithurtslikehell.-Hesdead.79.95块算了吧$79.95?Forgetit!49.99块不行$49.99?Noway!我们是疯子威比大电卖♥♥啦mcrazyandmypricesareinsane!这个月的采访对象是谁Whodid
6、theyinterviewthismonth?我的修图小美女Mylittleairbrushedbeauty.怎么了What?天啊地震了Ohno,itsaquake!我站不起来Icantgetup!出什么事了Whatsgoingonhere?凯西你听到什么声音没Casey,didyouhearsomething?我是如此幸运的女孩msuchaluckygirl.我坠入爱河了minlove.宇宙中theCosmos.无数的世界叠加世界无穷无尽Countlessworldsuponworlds.Worldswithoutend.星系间存在各种可能的现实Inthesegalaxieseverypos
7、siblerealityexits.任何一个世界的现实对其他世界来说只是幻想而已Andwhatisrealityonanyoneworldismerefantasyonallothers.这里真真假假虚虚实实Here,allisrealandallisillusion.现在过去未来以这句话从此开始Whatis,whatwasandwhatwillbestartherewiththewords.故事从.inthebeginningtherewas.霍华德鸭开始.HowardtheDuck!天降神兵鸭哥Boy.!我死定了madeadduck.嘿快来啊Hey,comeon!不No!嘿本德进去吧弗兰肯
8、维尼我们终于给你找了个约会对象HeyBender,goonin,Frankenweed.Wefinallyfoundyouadate.这是什么Whatisthis?这种装扮别想糊弄我孩子不准进入Hey!Thatcostumedontfoolme.Nokidsallowed.嘿让开嘿等等那是我的约会对象Comeon,Kid.-Waitaminute,that,smydate!我说了让开Isaidoutoftheway!不等等No,wait!你这个小讨厌鬼从我的车上滚下来你这个肮脏的废物Youlittlecreep!Getawayfrommycart,youfilthydegenerate!天啊它
9、摸我它究竟是什么Christ,ittouchedme!-Whatthehellisit?我什么都没想做真的-比利踩它Iwasn,ttryinganything!Honest!-Steponhim!那里There!图局在上Upandaway!想听离奇故事吗Areyoureadyforanincrediblestory?弄走它玛丽弄走它一天啊Wasteit,man,wasteit!-No!糟糕的一天Talkaboutarottenday.我们刚看了你的演出Justsawyourshow!很好谢谢-贝弗莉我们喜欢你的音乐Great,thanks.-Beverly,weloveyourmusic.再见
10、你能在我衬衫上签名吗Byenow.-CouldIhaveyourautographonmyshirt?还有我在我内♥裤♥卜.签名Metoo.Onmyshorts?真可爱走开好吗-我们在跟你说话呢摇滚明星Realcharming.Justgoaway,okay?-We,retalkingtoyou,bigrockstar!放手变♥态♥喂别瞧不起我们Donttryanything!-Dontgosnotnoseonus.我们是你的忠实粉丝-我说了放开我Wereyourbiggestfans.-Letmego!救命救命Helpsomebody,
11、help!Help!过来瞧不起人的家伙Comehere,snotnose!够了不能再当好好鸭先生了that,sit.NomoreMr.NiceDuck!放开那个雌性生物1.etthefemalecreaturego!每只鸭户都有底线你们这些渣滓超出了我的底线Everyducksgothislimit,andyouscumhavepushedmeovertheline.吉米你看到我看到的了吗)immy,doyoulikeseewhatIsee?一只会说话的鸭子是的没错Atalkingduck?-Yeah,thatsit.我喝太多了嘘快飞走vebeendoingtoomuchtoot.Shoot!
12、Flyaway!没人敢嘲笑嘎夫大♥师♥NoonelaughsatamasterofQuack-Fool吉米你没事吧Jimmy,youokay?放开我Getoffme!讨厌滚开You,creep,getoutofhere!我手指要被你扭断了Yourebreakingmyfingers!在我发怒之前你和娃娃脸快给我滚青春痘先生*Now,youandbabyfacearegonnabeatiright,Mr.Zitz?BeforeIgetreallymad!快点我们快走Comeon!Let,sgetoutofhere!这里绝不适合聪慧灵敏的鸭子thisisobviousl
13、ynoplaceforanintelligent,sensitiveduck.这不是真的不可能是真的thisisunreal.Imean,itcantbe.谢谢-你不会真的是只thanks.-Yourenotreallya.鸭子吧？.aduck?这开始严重伤害我的自尊心了Youknow,thisisbeginningtoseriouslyunderminemyself-esteem.对不起我想我要谢谢你把那些家伙赶走msorry,IguessIshouldthankyouforchasingthoseguysoff.你还好吧当然好极了Areyouokay?-Yeah,sure.Terrific
14、.我只有一个大问题我在哪儿？Ijusthaveonegiantquestion.WhereamI?这个亮灯那边是第九大街公交站那边是鲍威尔角Ohwell,thelightsupthereareNinthStreetandthebusstopsatthecornerofPowell.不我是问这地方是哪儿No,no,no,no.masking,whatisthisplace?克利夫兰-克利夫兰Cleveland?-Cleveland?Uh-huh.这个星球的名字还真是奇怪that,saperfectweirdnameforthisplanet.星球不这是个城市Planet7No,no,thatsa
15、city.星球名是你不知道这个星球？theplanets.Youdontknowtheplanet?好吧这个星球叫地球应该是Ohwell,theplanet,scalledEarth,Ithink.显然我在做可怕的噩梦Andmobviouslyinsomesortofterriblenightmare.是吗？是你的噩梦还是我的噩梦？Ohyeah?Yournightmareormine?问得好Goodpoint.我想我最好先走了So,IguessIbetterbegoing.再次感谢thanksagain.拜拜Bye.拜拜Bye.喂你有地方去吗1.isten.Yougotsomeplacetog
16、o?我要是有地方去肯定不会来克利夫兰IfIhadsomeplacetogo,Icertainlywouldn,tbeinCleveland.来吧Comeon.地方不错你租的吗Niceplace.Doyoupaytolivehere?很便宜我乐队经纪人给我找的It,scheap.themanagerofmybandfounditforme.我建议你找个新经纪人ISuggestyoufindanewmanager.我倒是想但我们和这个混♥蛋♥签了合同dloveto,butwegotthisdamncontractwiththissleazoid.他连欠我们的钱还没给我们
17、呢Hewontevengiveusthemoneyheowesus.请进Comeonin.乱得一塌糊涂It,ssortofadisasterarea.我们一直在练习新歌♥Wevebeenworkingonsomenewsongs,youknow.乐队名叫樱桃炸♥弹♥See,thebandscalledCherryBomb,and.我们一直在这个脏乱的小地方排练等着一炮而红.wevebeenplayingthesegrungymong-holeswaitingforourbigbreak.你不明白我在说什么吧鸭子Youdonthaveanyideawha
18、tmtalkingabout,doyouMister.你好先生Hello.Duck?我叫霍华德谢谢-好的霍华德ItsHoward,thankyou.-Right,Howard.你好我叫贝弗莉Hi,mBeverly.你想吃点东西或喝点？1.isten,wouldyoulikesomethingtoeatordrink?牛奶吗？我可以倒到碗里Milk?Icouldputitinabowl.美女我不用碗喝东西你有啤酒吗？Doll,Idontdrinkoutofbowls.Yougotabeer?啤酒？啤酒对了Beer?Right,beer,right.天啊真不敢相信God,Icantbelievet
19、his.是啊我才要把你放到碗里呢-什么llputyouinabowl.-What?饶了我吧No.Givemeabreak.这是什么钱包Whatsthis?-Itsapurse.我在跳蚤市场买♥♥的-很可爱Igotitataswapmeet.-Cute.大百基啤酒抱歉我很紧张Bigone.msorry,msonervous.我从没Itsjustthatveneverbeenarounda.我是说我从没养过宠物Imean,Iveneverevenhadanypetsoranything,youknow?它们好像都很麻烦theyseemlikesuchahass!e.Yo
20、uknow,feedingthem.要铲屎我尽量小心cleaninguptheirlittlepoo-poos.-lltrytobecareful.不我不是说你会No,Ididntmeanthatyou.你还是先坐下吧1.ook,whydontyoujustsitdown.好的何乐而不为-就像在自己家-样Okay,whynot?-Andmakeyourselfathome.像在自己家我倒是想听着Makemyselfathome?Iwish.-Listen.不别再来了Ohno,notagain!霍华德没事你还好吧Howard,it,sokay.Areyouallright?椅子在晃只是一辆卡车开
21、过thechairstartedshaking.-Itwasjustabigtruckgoingby.卡车我知道卡车Atruck?!knewthat.我不知道的是我究竟在这里干什么WhatIdontknowiswhatthehellmdoinghere!一次倒霉之旅还出现了身份危机Itslikeabadtrip.Imean,talkaboutanidentitycrisis.是的多么可怕的事情Yeah,whatanawfulthingtohappen.霍华德我有点好奇Howard,Iwasjustkindawondering.你们星球的都长你这样吗.doeseverybodyinyourpla
22、netlooklikeyou?当然怎么了没什么就是好奇Obviously,why?-Noreason,justwondered.你在家是做什么的有工作吗要上学吗So,Whatdoyoudobackhome?Yougotajob?Yougotoschool?我上过一段时间医学院-你上过医学院？Iwenttomedschoolforawhile.-Youwenttomedschool?是的我父母想让我当医生Yeah,myparentswantedmetobeadoctor.整形外科医生赚大钱做大事塞起尾巴Plasticsurgeon,makingbigbucks,doingbigjobs,tail
23、tucks.然后呢？-我退学了Whathappened?-1droppedout.我决定在现实世界自行学习街头万象And1decidedtoeducatemyselfintherealworld,onthestreets.所以我晚上写歌♥白天做建筑工So,Iwrotesongsatnightanddidconstructionworkbyday.天啊听起来好极了知道吗我也写歌♥Wow.thatsoundsgreatYouknow,Iwritesongstoo.你都写什么听着这无所谓Whatkindof.-Listen,itdoesntmatter.都是白日梦我烦死了
24、大家都说Itwasallapipedream.Igotsotiredofeveryonesaying:“霍华德懂事点吧我想我终于长大了Growup,Howard,.IguessIfinallydid.上个月我找了一个他们所谓的有前途的工作1.astmonthIgotwhattheycallapromisingjob.是吗什么工作-广♥告♥撰稿员Yeah?Doingwhat?-Advertisingcopywriter.“只有夜禽油和他可以触摸我的羽毛”Onlytwothingstouchmyfeathers,thisnOilofNightFowlandhim.这是我
25、写的Iwrotethat.天啊霍华德听起来产品一定卖♥♥得很火Geez,Howard,itsortofsoundslikeyousoldout.或许吧但冥冥中我还有这种感觉Maybe.ButsometimesIstillgetthisfeeling.某种特殊的命运正等待着我.there,ssomekindofspecialdestinywaitingforme.霍华德就是这样或许这是你到这里的原因Howard,that,sitMaybethatswhyyourehere.什公-我相信What?-1mean,Ibelieve.宇宙中没有巧合.thattherearen
26、oaccidentsintheuniverse.或许你来这里有更伟大的使命Maybeyourehereforsomegreaterpurpose.某种宇宙使命-你疯了吗Somecosmiccause.-Areyounuts?我可不想被困在这里Igotnointentionofbeingstrandedhere.我一定要回去Igottagetback.怎么回去是另一回事-没错我们需要帮助How,isanothermatter.-Yeah,right.Wegottagetsomehelp.但是霍华德But,Howard.天啊Oh,geez.霍华德Howard.!我该拿你怎么办小鸭子？WhatamI
27、gonnadowithyou.ducky?真是有失脸面我只是不想thisishumiliating.-1justdontwantpeople.人们到处抓狂-那我呢.freakingoutallovertheplace.-Whataboutme?我后半辈子每天都得mgonnahavetoseeapsychiatrist.看精神病医生放松点我们快到了.everydayfortherestofmylife.-Relax,werealmostthere.太好了菲尔是科学家他能帮上忙Oh,goody.-Philsascientist.Hecanhelp.霍华德这样不行-该死我早就知道了Howard,th
28、isisntworking.-Tellmeaboutit.需要帮忙吗？CanIgiveyouahandwiththat?不用我们在-袋子里是什么？No,we,redoing.-Whatsinthebag?我挺好的非常感谢mdoingfine,thankyouverymuch.放我出去1.etmeoutofhere.打扰一下需要帮忙吗-不Excuseme.CanIhelpwiththat?-No!需要Yes!怎么停了Whyarewestopping?嗨-嗨贝弗莉Hi.-Hi,Beverly.我们预约我们尽快赶到了这里WehadanappointmentWegothereasfastaswecou
29、ld.天啊听着各位就是它我看到了God.Listen,everybody,thisisit!vejustseenit!它在那里是个.Itsinthere!It,sa.its.那是没什么没什么别介意Its.Itsnothing!It,snothing,nevermind.查宾博士您继续Carryon,Dr.Chapin.太神奇了人类最古老的幻想thisisamazing.Man,soldestfantasy.穿越星辰大海抬头仰望天空Acrossaseaofstars!Lookupinthesky!是只鸟是架飞机It,sabird!Itsaplane!不是只鸭子-菲尔你得帮帮我们No,itsadu
30、ck!-Phil,yougottahelpus!我们该怎么力、很好小鸭子Whatarewegonnado?-Niceducky.我是菲尔你是霍华德我们是朋友MePhil,youHoward.Webefriends.毫无疑问地球上最有才智之人在这里UndoubtedlyonofEarthsgreatestmindshere.菲尔别那么和他说话他跟你样聪明HeyPhil,donttalktohimlikethat.He,sjustassmartasyouare.我现在真的很郁闷智商很高可能Nowmreallydepressed.-Highlyintelligent,perhapseven.等等就是
31、这个我们得看看Wait,thatsit.We,reabouttosee.实验对象是否有地球人没有的能力.ifsubjecthasanyabilitieswedon,thaveonEarth,any.什么-比如说超能力What?-.shallwesay,superpowers?霍华德Howard!你能折弯这个吗？Canyoubendthis?你疯r吗？-霍华德Whatareyou,crazy?-Howard.你能用激光眼在这上面烧个洞吗？.canyouburnaholethroughthiswithsomekindofeyelaser?我能用超级喙咬掉你的鼻子吗？CanIbiteyournose
32、offwithmysuperbill?霍华德别隐瞒r我希望你集中精力Howard,quitholdingout.Iwantyoutoconcentrate.读我的思想-好的你在想.andreadmymind.-Right.Yourethinking:“他们知道我是冒牌货优柔寡断”theyknowmaphony.theyknowmayo-yo.菲尔告诉我我猜得对不对Tellmeifmwarmonanyofthese,Phil.我需要你卜问未来告诉我你的所见Iwantyoutolookintothefutureandtellmewhatyousee.我看到我走出了那扇门是的我也是Iseemysel
33、fwalkingoutthatdoor!-Yeah,metoo.不等等你们不能走-是吗为什么No,no,no,wait!Youcantleave.-Yeah,whynot?因为还有论文要写还有研究要做Becausetherearepaperstobewritten,there,sresearchtobedone.还要举♥彳j♥讨论会进行巡回讲座.andtheressymposiumstogive,lecturetours.霍华德我们要进入科学名人堂Howard,weareonourwaytotheScienceHallofFame.看看达尔文看看爱因斯坦你好诺贝尔奖
34、1.ookout,Darwin!Lookout,EinsteinIHello,NobelPrize!我们不是来让你出名的布鲁姆伯特Werenotheretomakeyoufamous,Blumburtt.听着贝弗莉我从没在科学互助会上说过别人坏话Beverly,listen,!neverbad-mouthedothers.但你要用袋子装个外星人来找别人.inthescientificfraternity,butyoubringinanalieninabagtomostguys.他们肯定会说.andWhamoJTheyaretalking.我们把它切碎看看内脏的颜色1.etscuthiminto
35、littlepiecesandseewhatcolorhisorgansare.我只想知道第一我来这里干什么Ijustwannaknow:A:Whatmdoinghere?第二我怎么回去AndB:Howmgonnagetback?小菜一碟第一我是帮你的人Pieceofcake.A:mjusttheguytohelp.因为第二我已经有理论了AndthatsbecauseB,vealreadygotatheory.什么理论当然了这是进化阶梯Whattheory?-Well,thisis,ofcourse.展示人如何从猴子进化而来.theevolutionaryladdershowinghowman
36、progressed.比如说我你是说进化过程.frommonkey,tome,forinstance.-Youconsiderthatprogress?天啊你们都是无毛的猩猩真是恶心Geez.Youreallhairlessapes7thatsreallydisgusting.你们俩设想一下宇宙中的某处Now,Iwantyoubothtoimaginesomewhereintheuniverse.是霍华德的家想象一下.isHoward,sworld.Pictureitinyourmind.一个和我们差不多的世界Aworldalmostexactlylikeours.除了优势物种的祖先不是猴子.
37、exceptthattheprogenitorofthedominantspecies.而是鸭子算是理论.wasnotamonkeybutaduck!-Sometheory.每只上过学的鸭子都知道这个Everyschoolduckknowsthisstuff!随着鸭子在进化阶梯中进化Andasduckclimbeduptheevolutionaryladder.它们的翅膀退化心智能力提升.hesaidadiostohiswings.Hismentalcapacityincreases.它们开始进化出什么贝弗莉Hebeginstodevelop.Beverly?购物中心？-不对是部落Shoppi
38、ngmalls?-No,tribes.克罗马侬鸭并最终进化成霍华德Cro-MagnonDuck,whoultimatelyevolvesintoHoward.嘿布鲁姆伯特HeyBlumburtt?Blumburtt?快点你在干什么Comeon!-Whatthehellareyoudoing?什么你在-别动别呼吸What?-Dontmove!Dontbreathe!你打扫完样本实验室了吗Didyoufinishcleaningupthespecimenlab?快打扫完了Almostfinished.拿着拖布去海洋动物展览馆Well,getdowntotheMarineLiftExhibitwit
39、hamop.有个孩子吐到蕨类植物化石上了Somekidupchuckedalloverthefernfossils.好的会擦干净的查宾博士RightGoodasdone,Dr.Chapin.脏菲尔你是科学家还是清洁工So,Philsey,youareascientistorajanitor?我是实验室助理malabassistant.好极了真是完美是的我先走了that,sterrific!Justperfect-Yep,moutofhere.听着这只是临时工作等我毕业有了自己的博物馆1.ook,itsjustatemporaryjobuntilIfinishschoolandgetmyownm
40、useum.对自命不凡的你会打造好的展览-霍华德霍华德等等Yeah,stuffedyoudmakeagreatexhibit.-Howard!Howard,wait!典型的无毛猩猩-霍华德拜托Typicalhairlessape.-Howard,look,comeon.别气冲冲地就走听着贝弗莉Dontflutteroffinahuff!Beverly,listen.我这里还有重要物件要清理我今晚打给你.vegotsomeimportantmatterstocleanuphere,butIllcallyoutonight.我会找出帮助霍华德的方法llfigureoutawaytohelpHowa
41、rd,Iswear.我发誓别带它见别人-他们看着很饿Justdontshowhimtoanybodyelse!-Yeah,theylookhungry.给他们个香蕉把它藏起来带它去看电影Getthemabanana.-Hidehim!takehimtoamovie!听着我不知道还能找谁帮忙-进来布鲁姆伯特Ididntknowwhereelsetogoforhelp.-Inside,Blumburtt.来了霍华德你为什么这么生气Coming!Coming!-Howard,whyareyousopissedoff?为什么听着如果你被炸得在太空中飞了数百万公里Why?Listen,ifyougotb
42、lastedmillionsofmilesthroughspace.最后来到另一个星球.endeduponanotherplanet.还被一个清洁工测试智商你也会有点生气.andweregivenanI.Q.Testbyajanitoyou,dbepissedofftoo!听着或许你是被困在了从未来过的世界1.ook,maybeyouaretrappedinaworldyounevermade.可是我自己也有麻烦我整个职业生涯都崩溃r.butIgotproblemsofmyown.Mywholecareerisfallingapart.你的事业那我的人生呢Yourcareer?Whatabou
43、tmylife?我被困在这飞船失事-看看这个奇妙的展品mstrandedhere,shipwrecked!-Lookatthiswonderfulexhibit.明白我的意思吗我是个怪胎处处被排斥YouseewhatImean7mafreak.Anoutcast.真是栩栩如生逼真极了走开It,ssolife-likeandrealistic.-Bugoff.什公-我说走开Excuseme?-1said,beatit.变种人你也走Mutants-You,too.别管我什么1.eavemealone!-What?我不需要你的同情和怜悯Idontneedanymoreofyoursympathy,y
44、ourcharity!好吧好吧我刚发现一个.Okay.Okay,fine.Imean,Ijustfoundsomething.我是说一个身处奇怪困境的人我努力想帮忙ImeetsomebodyinaprettyweirdpredicamentandIwastryingtohelp.如果你想这样那就再见了小鸭子Butifthat,sthewayyouwantit,thensolong,ducky!别为我流泪亲爰的你就顾影自怜吧Dontshedanytearsoverme,toots!-Youcanwallowinyourownselfpity!好的谁需要你啊Right!WelI,whoneedsyou?我谁都不需要-是啊1dontneedanybody!-Yeah,right.是的Yeah.该死我不能坐在这垂头丧气Damnit!Icantsithereonmytailfeathersfeelingsorryformyself.我得想想实际问题：吃的住的工作Ivegottothinkaboutpracticalmatters:Food,shelter.ajob.现在你知道为什么把你派给我了吧Nowyoudoknowwhyyouweresenttome?因为我
