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1、Unit5 Four Rules for a Successful MarriageUnit 25 Four Rules for a Successful Marriage Couples usually ask for advice when they are just about ready to throw in the towel. Their Love Banks have been losing love units so long that they are now deeply in the red. And their negative Love Bank accounts
2、makes them feel very uncomfortable just being in the same room with each other. To be in love again means they must re-deposit all of the love units that were withdrawn. In order to deposit enough love units to fall in love, they must follow rules that they dont feel like following. The Rule of Care
3、: Meet Your Spouses Most Important Emotional Needs Even when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when its gone entirely, it can be recovered whenever you both go back to being an expert at knowing each others needs and learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjo
4、yable for you, too. The Rule of Protection: Avoid Being the Cause of Your Spouses Unhappiness Its pointless to deposit love units if you withdraw them right away. So in addition to meeting important emotional needs, you must be sure to protect the Love Bank from withdrawals by paying attention to ho
5、w your everyday behavior makes each other unhappy. You and your spouse were born to be angry, disrespectful, demanding, annoying and dishonest. These are normal human traits that I call Love Busters because they destroy affection. To eliminate them, you will do whatever it takes to overcome these de
6、structive tendencies for your spouses protection. The Rule of Honesty Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plants for the future. Honesty and Openness can trigger the feeling of
7、love. But its counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the most destructive Love Busters. Besides, honesty is the only way couples will come to understand each other. To avoid conflict, they sometimes deliberately misinform each other as to their feelings, personal history, activities, and plans. This not
8、 only leads to a failure to meet an important emotional need, and a withdrawal of love units when the deception is discovered, it also makes marital conflicts impossible to resolve. After all, how can you and your spouse solve a problem if your cards are not on the table? Without honesty, the adjust
9、ments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made. The Rule of Time: Take Time to Give Your Spouse Your Undivided Attention When you are dating, you give each other this kind of attention and you fall in love. When people have affairs, they also give each other
10、this kind of attention to keep their love for each other alive. Why should courtship and affairs be the only times love is created? Why cant it happen in marriage as well? It can, if you set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention. Schedule your time to be alone with each other
11、as your highest priority, even if your career, your time with your children, and a host of other demands will compete for your time together. 译文： 成功婚姻的四大准则 夫妻仅仅在他们准备要放弃的时候寻求忠告意见。他们的爱情银行的“爱元”长期亏损以至于陷入赤字。他们负面的银行账户使他们即使彼此在同一间屋子里也会感到不安。想再次相爱他们必须重新储存所有的“爱元”，使自己的爱情账户不在赊欠。为了出入足够多的“爱元”来使他们坠入爱河，他们必须遵循以下他们感觉不
12、喜欢的法则。 关心法则：了解和满足爱人的情感需求 即使爱开始消退，或完全消失了，也能重新找回只要你们双方重新又称为通晓彼此需求的专家，并学会用对你的配偶和你自己都满意、愉悦的方式来满足这些需求。 保护法则：避免引起爱人的苦恼 如果你立即提取“爱元”，存款是没有意义的。所以为了满足重要的情感需要，你必须要重视你是对方不高兴的日常行为来保护你的爱情银行被取款。你和你的爱人生气、不敬、苛求、讨厌和欺骗。这些普通人的特征因为它们破坏感情，我们称之为“爱情克星”。为了驱逐它们，你无论如何要克服这些破坏性的倾向来保护你的爱人。 诚实法则： 尽可能向你的配偶透露你所了解的关于你自己的各种情况你的想法、感觉、
13、习惯、喜好、讨厌、私人历史、日常活动和未来的计划。诚实和公开会引起爱的感觉。但是它是相应的，不诚实，是大部分破坏的爱情克星之一。除此之外，诚实也是夫妻唯一了解彼此的方式。为了避免冲突，他们有时候故意假传信息给彼此关于他们的感觉、个人历史、行为和计划。这不仅仅是导致满足重要感情需要的失败和当骗术被发现时取出“爱元”，也会使夫妻间的矛盾不可能解决。毕竟，当你的银行卡不在桌子上时，你和你的爱人如何解决这个问题？没有了诚信，在夫妻间创世纪的兼容性调整是不能被完成的。 时间法则：一心一意的花时间给你的爱人 当你们约定，你们给彼此这种关心，你们就坠入爱河了。当人们有风流韵事时，他们也会给彼此这种关心来保持
14、他们彼此的生活。为什么恋爱期和有事务应该应该仅仅一点时间的爱被创造？为什么不能也发生在婚姻中呢？如果你每周设定一个时期来关心彼此，它就能。在你最高的优先级计划一个彼此独自的时间，即使是你的工作时间，你陪孩子的时间和许多更多的要求来一起完成你的时间。夫妻要把握好事业，家庭和浪漫之间的平衡，给对方不可或缺的关注。 词汇： account n.账户 adjustment n.调节，调整 affair n.风流韵事 career n.职业 compatibility n.相容性，融洽 compete vi.争夺 counterpart n.配对物，相应物 courtship n.求爱 crucial
15、adj.至关重要的 deception n.欺骗 deliberately adv.故意地 demanding adj.苛求的 deposit vt.储蓄 destructive adj.破坏性的 disrespectful adj.不敬的，无礼的 fulfilling adj.令人满意的 misinform vt.告知错误信息 negative adj.负面的 overcome vt.克服 pointless adj.无意义的 reveal vt.揭示 trait n.特点 undivided adj.专注的，不分心的 unit n.数量单位 withdraw vt.提取，撤回 withdrawal n.提取，撤回 流行短语： a host of 许多 as to 关于 do whatever it takes to + V. 尽一切努力去 in the red 欠债 set aside 拨出(时间，钱财) throw in the towel 认输
