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1、友尽专题：如何辨别撒谎,刘宜林,2023/8/3,（入门）,Friendship breaker：How to Discern Lies,1.我已阅读并同意以上服务条款2.”您好我有事不在一会再和您联系“3.正品保障，七天无理由退款4.“厨房正在煮，菜马上就上。”5.“讲完这题我就下课。”.,I have read and agree tothe terms of service“HeyI got sth stuckIll call you later“Wearecommittedtostrictenforcementtaobaomallnoreasontoreturnin sevendays
2、.”“Coming soon.”“finish thisqizz and ill let you go.”,当今社会，说谎并不难见。所谓谎言并不恶毒，恶毒的只是人心。一个谎言，在华丽的又或者是看似平常的背后，往往隐藏着蛊惑和自私。Nowadays,is notdifficult to see someone telling alie.Looking behind the normalorordinary words,often hideconfuse andselfish.“小明，你为什么不交昨天的作业？”“家里着火，不小心把作业烧了。”Ming,why didnt you hand in y
3、ourhomework yesterday?The house wason fire,Mrs.Sheldon.,Although thelies cansolve the problem temporarily,obviously,lying is absolutelynotgo on for long.Lie,body and mindare separated.We may for our comfort making up a lie,thinking that isno danger of anything going wrong.But the lie you madewhat yo
4、u believed,is it too strong to break?Cheated someone mayalsocheated yourself.虽然谎言可以解决暂时的问题，很明显，说谎绝对不是长久之计。说谎时，身心是分离的，也是分裂的。我们为了满足一时的方便，编出一个谎言，认为这样就万无一失了。可是，你所相信的谎言真的就那么牢不可破吗？骗人的同时也骗了自己。,马萨诸塞大学针对说谎者以及说谎环境的调查(1998,Dr.Robert,U.of Massachusetts),89%,75%,85%,受访的1500个样本当中，逾9成的人承认过自己经常有意识或无意识地撒谎,而在这近9成的人当中
5、，常会向亲朋好友撒谎的人高达75%,而85%的谎言都在各种程度上被发觉了,数据来源：http:/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie/VTA-steinn/cfm?b=2Th&c=2&v=11&t=NKJV#s=1118011.org,24%,可是只有25%不到的人选择了识破谎言并拆穿,more than 9percent of peopleadmitted toconsciously lie or not,Inthisnearly 9people,will often lieto the relatives and friends ofpeople up to 75per.,8
6、5%lieswere discovered,But onlyless than 25%of thepeople chose toexpose,英国高等教育调查机构QS公司关于两性生活中说谎以及说谎带来的后果的调查(节选),43%,87%,52%,没有恋爱经历的男女，在日常生活和为人处事当中会说谎的比例占43%,有过两次或两次以上婚姻经历的男女，承认自己会说谎，尤其是在自己的伴侣面前会说谎的比例高达87%,首段婚姻，又或者是热恋中的男女承认自己说谎的比例达到了52%,数据来源：http:/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie/VTA-steinn/cadf=qerg%adfd&a=
7、adfgh=weqfdV#s=3236614.org,twotimes or two times aboveexperience of marriageof men and women,admit that he might belying,especially in front oftheir partnerwill liethe proportion as high as 87%,People in firstmarriageadmitted often lyingreached to 52%,Have no experience in loveof men and women,accou
8、nting for 43%in the daily life,因此，学会如何辨别撒谎，是检测男友是否出轨，闺蜜是否偷食的一大利器。Therefore,How to Discern LiesIts the best weapon to make sure Your BF.derailed or not,内容 content,1.识辨篇2.拆穿篇3.实践篇,Find itNailitUse it in our life,识辨篇 Find it,无论怎样，谎言在这个世界无可避免地存在着，而我们，若是带着一双敏锐的眼睛和一颗能明辨是非的心，便可在人生这场大戏中游刃有余。让我们摒弃繁杂而又无用的方法论，
9、直击谎言内部，学会辨别谎言，进而探讨解决方法。No matter how,liesexistinthe world.ifwe living with a pair ofsharp eyesanda big-heart,between the truth and false,may live in easeinthelife.Let usabandon the complicated anduselesstheory,learn to Discern a Lie,and find out the solution.,识辨,第一句谎言没有经过大脑 first sentence,不涉及自身never
10、 involve itself,“哈？你再说一遍？”“pardon?”,“根据上下文找出问题”,1.不涉及自身 never involve itself,撒谎者往往较少使用第一人称（比如代词“我”“我们”），较多使用第三人称（比如“他”和“他们”）。这是撒谎者让自己和谎话保持距离的一种下意识手段。另外，如果用上第一人称，即用上“我”，从关系的角度出发，错综复杂的关系更能让说谎者站在一种旁观者的角度，好与所讲的事情撇清关系。并且，连接这关系的第一个人，一般都是同学。Liarstend touse fewer first person(such as a pronounIto we),often
11、usethe third person(such asheandthey).This isthe liar whatlet himself and thelieto maintain asub conscious,and keepdistance.In addition,if you usethe first person,namely theuseI,starting fromthe perspective of the relationship between,perplexingrelationshipcan letliarstanding ina other persons point
12、 of view.Andthe first personto connect with thisrelationship,are generally”classmate”.,“他都是这样说.”“我初中同学的表哥就经常.”“我有個friend嗝同學.”“.”Hesaid so.Myjunior high school students cousinoften.I have a friendsmate.,2.第一句谎言没有经过大脑 first sentence,只有4%的人说起谎来滴水不漏，但是，人的第一反应很难作假。在没有精心编辑出的第一句谎言之前，所有脱口而出的谎言都是有漏洞的。并且这些脱口而
13、出，看上去都非常的蹩脚。Only 4%of the peoplespoke a lielike watertight,however,peoples first reactionis difficult to cheat.Without carefuleditingof the firstliebefore,allof lies by escape-lips are flawed.And these lies,all look reallybad.关键词：“没什么”“只不过”“而已”“偶尔”“没什么，我只是跟她吃个饭而已。”“现在偶尔还会有联系，不过只是普通朋友。”,另外，为了让第一句谎言不被
14、拆穿，说谎者往往要继续编下去，从而制造一个又一个的谎言，进而增大了被拆穿的可能性。所以，判断一个人是否说谎，请留意他的第一句话。In addition,in order to keepthe firstlie notexposed,liarstend to continue to continue,thusmakinganotherlie,increasing thepossibilityof being exposed.“我吃饭的时候还碰见了王小明，”“你看我连她微信都没加”So,to judge whether a person islying,pay attention tohis fi
15、rst sentence.,3.“哈？你再说一遍？”“pardon?”,一个心思缜密的谎言，看上去是如此地牢不可破，那是理所当然的。因为说谎者精心编织的谎言已经在心中重复了数十遍，以至于骗了自己，才有勇气说出口来骗人。但是这种自信只来自于自欺欺人的勇气，一旦被听见谎言的人所肯定，内心当中的自信便愈加旺盛起来，以至于对自己说“我没有做错”而在骗人的道路上越走越远。Athoughtfullie,looked sothe dungeon,can not be broken.Because liars carefully designed lie in their mind forseveral re
16、petitions,untilcheat everyone.Then they have the courage to speak to people.But couragethis confidencecomes only fromdeceive oneself and others,onceheardpeoplecertainly,insideself-confidencewill become increasinglystrong,sosay to yourself:I amnot wrongwhilelyingon the roadmore walk more far.,但如果带有一种
17、否定又貌似看穿的怀疑的情绪去面对谎言，说谎者虽然在身体语言上不会有多大变化，可是内心当中也已经乱了阵脚，脑中会思考着“是不是哪里有疏漏”“不会呀应该很完美的”重复这种怀疑则可以打断说谎者的思考，进而使得气急败坏，狗急跳墙，伤肝动气。“都说了不是你想象的那样子的！”所以当你判断不准的时候，不妨来一句哈？你再说一遍？“But if withanegativeand seeminglythroughdoubtto facelies,liarthough inbody languagewill notchange much,but they alreadyin disarray,the brain m
18、ightthinking“Is it right?Where there areomissions”“itshouldbe perfect blablabla”repeatingthisdoubtcaninterruptthe liars thinking,and may make them angry.“都说了不是你想象的那样子的！”So whenyou judgeallowed in the time,you may try this-ah?Pardon?,4.“根据上下文找出问题”,第一次去夜店的人绝对有人陪同，自身懒惰的人绝对不会勤劳，喜爱偷窃的人基本很难收手，讨厌的人再怎么也不会喜欢
19、上你。对不起其实是一句屁话，而谢谢你也只是因为不谢就不好意思。一次的劳累其实也是为了以后一百次不再这么辛苦，一百次的帮忙而获来的评价会毁在仅仅一次的拒绝当中，初次交往的都会说这次绝对是真爱，而有过三次婚姻的人也别谈什么爱情。因为一个谎言而阻碍你的判断，请根据上下文来找出问题。另，从上下文当中找出问题者，一般最为靠谱，远远在所谓猜测和第六感之上。,提问,不涉及自身第一句谎言没有经过大脑“哈？你再说一遍？”“根据上下文找出问题”,拆穿篇 Nail it,纸包不住火，谎言总有一天会不攻自破。但如果我们什么时候都只是靠时间来进行裁夺，未免有些懦弱。Murder will out.liesone day
20、maycollapse of itself.But seemscowardly what if wejustwaiting fortime tojudge.,时间(误)是检验真理的唯一标准,怎样华丽地拆穿谎言？,How to nail a lie?,1.大声指出/私下提出 Public/Private,无论谎言打着怎样的旗号，说着怎样的借口，归根到底，说谎就是不好的。每一个靠谎言而蒙混过去的说谎者往往都带有一种侥幸的心理，因为简简单单而又不用付出什么而得到想要的结果，所以“就骗这一次下次不会再说了”是绝对不会存在的。人无论怎么样，都要面对现实，说谎其实就是一种逃避。No matterwhatl
21、iesunderwhat kind of banner,in the final analysis,lyingisnot a good thing.Everyliar when they past,often believe they were lucky,becausesimply paylessandget the results what they want,greed is great.:)sotrick forthis time andnext time iwontdo againis absolutelynot exist.No matter what,we haveto face
22、 the reality,lying,in fact is a kind ofescape.,数十年的生活经验告诉我们，如果你真的在乎他，请揭穿他。Dozens ofyears oflife experience tellsus,if youreally care about him,pleasenail him.,2.转移话题 Change the subject,如果不喜欢这么直接地戳穿一个人，又难以忍受他拙劣的演技，不妨在他表演的时候转移话题吧。Ifdidnt likesodirectlyexposea person,alsohard to endurehis badacting,mig
23、ht as well asfind anothertopic whenhe was acting.“饿不饿，下面给你吃咯。”“.不饿.我跟你讲，其实他”“饿不饿，下面给你吃咯。”“.”“饿不饿，下面给你吃咯。”,如果是猪，重复几次对方应该也会发觉被发现了，该干啥干啥去吧。If he is apig,repeated several timeswill catch his mindhey mate you were spotted,do whatyou have to do.,3.“喝喝。”,If you really dont care and you really give a shit,喝
24、喝 is enough.,可以说，欺骗是每个人最不能忍受的伤害之一，谁都不喜欢被别人蒙蔽，但是当我们和朋友相处的时候，我们会发现，他在跟你说谎，或者他曾经跟你说过谎，你可能会感到愤怒或者不解。甚至，你可能会揭穿他的谎言，会质问他。可是，作为朋友，你是否有想过，他为什么会跟你说谎？其实，面对谎言你大可不必如此愤怒，因为有些谎言本身并没有杀伤力。朋友之间的谎言，多数是无恶意的，或许只是想提高一下他的形象，又或许是想了解更多的事实。It can be said,isone of the most difficultto deceiveeveryonehurtbear,whodoesnt love b
25、lindedby others,but when weandfriends,wewill find,heis lying to you,or hehad told youa lie,you may feelangry orconfused.Or,you mayexpose his lies,willquestion him.However,as a friend,have you ever thought why would helie to you?In fact,in the face ofthe lieyou need notso angry,because some liesin an
26、d of itselfwithout hurt you.Between the friendlies,most areharmless,orjust want to improvehisimage,however,perhapshe just wants to know more facts.,当你面对欺骗时，首先，分清善意的和恶意的谎言，不要因为憎恨被欺骗，而伤了真正爱你和关心你的人的心。其次，不怨恨，不愤怒，不因为他人欺骗了你，就要用同样的谎言去惩罚他，这样你就从一个受害者，变成了一个施害者，如此，你跟那个让人厌恶的欺骗者有什么区别？第三，从心底里宽容欺骗你的人，因为他让你学会了辨别事物的
27、好坏丑恶，懂得了如何保护自己。When you face thedeception,first of all,to distinguish betweengood andmalicious lies,not because ofhatebeing deceived,and hurtreallyloveyou andcare about youthe persons heart.Secondly,not angry,notangry,notbecauseothersdeceive you,you should usethe same liesto punish him,so youfroma v
28、ictim,turned out to be avictimizer,so,you and thepeople hate thecheaterswhat is the difference?Third,from the bottom of my heart,toleranceto deceive you,because he letyou learn todistinguish betweengood and badevil,know how toprotect themselves.,所以，当面临谎言之时，最好就是就是微笑。MOSTLY,it is best tosmile when u f
29、ace alie.:),实践篇,我在小时候曾经偷偷拿过爸爸妈妈的钱出去请朋友吃东西还有出去网吧上网，然后被爸妈发现了好好教育了一番,参考资料,艾克曼,保罗.说谎揭穿婚姻中的骗局.北京:生活读书新知三联书店.2008-12:10.ISBN 978-7-108-03004-7译言网|史上十大谎言 维基百科 马萨诸塞大学研究课题http:/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie/VTA-steinn/cfm?b=2Th&c=2&v=11&t=NKJV#s=1118011.org维基百科 QS http:/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie/VTA-steinn/cadf=qerg%adfd&a=adfgh=weqfdV#s=3236614.org,鸣谢,组员罗翠雯 总结文案提供组员李宗昊 实践例子提供,谢谢观看,Thx for watching!,
