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1、先生我帮你把麦克风戴上mjustgonnaattachthislapelmic,sir.你们想让我讲讲波瑟芬妮奥达伊尔那简单So,youwantmetotalkaboutPersephoneOdair?Thatseasy.她是个杰出的企业家梦想拯救世界Shewasabrilliantentrepreneurwhowantedtosavetheworld.我多希望这是她唯一的缺点HowIwishthatwasheronlyshortcoming.一年前我的救生艇公♥司♥可以把整个海洋的海水Mycompany.Lifeboat,cantakeanoceanofsaltw
2、ater救生艇公♥司♥转化成洁净的可饮用水andtransformitintocleandrinkingwater,洁净低成本使用低成本高效率的机器cheaplyandefficientlywithamachine跟一罐燕麦体积相同onlythesizeofacanofoats.燕麦Oats!怀疑的人会说“不能行”Now,thedoubterscallthisgoalImpossible/但我更喜欢说我能行”butIprefertosay:,mpossible.为了可饮用水救生艇公♥司♥的故事第一早一切启动这个故事讲述了一个有梦想的小女孩
3、Thisstoryisaboutalittlegirlwhohadadream.但故事源于另一个Butitbeginswithanotherlittlegirl允许我们使用影片的小女孩whoallowedustousethefootage她采访r现在已经fromwhensheinterviewedthefirstlittlegirl不再是小女孩的第一个小女孩whoisnolongeralittlegirl.很激动可以采访msoexcitedtobeinterviewing救生艇公♥司♥的CEO波瑟芬妮噢达伊尔PersephoneOdaiCEOofLifeboat.波
4、瑟芬妮So,Persephone,你曾是史上最强的童女军youwerethemostbe-badgedgirlscoutofalltime而后追随了比尔盖茨的脚步andthenfollowedinthefootstepsofBillGates从哈佛辍学bydroppingoutofHarvardearly.史上辍得最早的Theearliestever.我们在新生报到日那天连车都没停就辍rOurcardidntevenslowdownonfreshmenmove-inday.欢迎新生太有启发性了Soinspirational.关于救生艇公&hearts词♥的创立灵感Whatwast
5、heAhamomentthatgaveyoutheidea是从何时迸发的呢tostartLifeboat?好问题Greatquestion.丽莎好问题就像大锤And,Lisa,greatquestionsarethejackhammers,可以砸碎怕被打扰的人建立的高墙whichdemothewallsbuiltbydisrupto-phobes从而创建革新的布局规划tocreatetheopenfloorplanofinnovation.我也一直这样认为的vealwaysthoughtthataboutquestions.丽莎我的祖父是二战时的水手1.isa,mygrandfatherwas
6、aWorldWarIIsailor他们的船被鱼雷击沉了whoseshipwastorpedoed.他在救生艇上漂流丽莎Hewasstrandedonalifeboat,Lisa,周围都是无法饮用的水surroundedbywaterbutnotadroptodrink.别告诉我他死了Donttellmehedied.更糟他放弃了Worse.Hegaveup.然后死了因为放弃了希望Andthenhedied,ofquitting还有超级大脱水andsuper-duperdehydration.但我决不放弃ButIwillnevergiveup一定会筹到足够投资来实现救生艇公♥司&h
7、earts;的愿景untilveraisedenoughcapitaltomakeLifeboatareality.所以如果你认识富翁的话Soifyouknowanybillionaires.镇上只有一位富翁是伯恩斯先生Well,theonlyoneinourtownisMr.Burns,他很烂的andhesawful.有次他把一整片森林伐倒Once,heclear-cutaforest就因为他觉得有一只松鼠对他翻白眼becausehethoughtasquirrelwaslookingathimfunny.蒙哥马利伯恩斯MontgomeryBurns.Mm.有趣的想法丽莎Interestin
8、gidea,Lisa.我没说这是个好主意No,Ididntsayittobeanidea!他是个烂人Hesterrible.不论如何都别去找他Whateveryoudo,dontgotohim.但曾经在实践作业Butthewomanwhooncetried试图复♥制&hearts/雪莉尔桑德伯格的人tocloneSherylSandbergforaschoolproject佛罗里达能源展是不会被吓退的wouldnotbedeterred.老化石们谈论化石燃料：我们闪耀的不可持续未来欢迎来到奥兰多提醒一下WelcometoOrlando.Quickheads-up.我们可能会把这段
9、剪短Wemayhavetocutthispanelshort因为我们本季度第三次duetoourthirdonce-in-a-million-year百万年一遇的飓风hurricanethisseason.把这个发到我快拍上去Putthisonmyreel!运气太差了完全不是任何人的错Terribleluck.-Nofaultofanyones.伯恩斯先生气候变化已经将地球置于险境Mr.Burns,climatechangehaslefttheearthinperil.谁派你来的约翰缪尔弗里德里希恩♥格♥斯♥Whosentyou?JohnMuir?Fr
10、iedrichEngels?核能石油煤炭迈克杜恩斯伯利MikeDoonesbury?我收到消息说这场飓风mgettingwordthatthishurricaneismeetingup将与沼泽火灾相遇withtheevergladessuperfire.蒙哥马利我是一家海水淡化机公♥司♥的创始人Montgomery,mthefounderofadesalinationcompany.世界的水资源正在枯竭Ourworldisrunningoutofwater,我们需要一个英雄可以拯救我们andweneedaherotorescueus.而我坚信那个英雄就是你的钱And
11、Ibelievethatthatheroisyourmoney.我们出♥售♥可以灭这场火的化学品Wesellchemicalsthatcanputoutthatfire.可惜这些化学品会把短吻鳄变成哥斯拉Granted,thosechemicalsturnalligatorsintogodzillas,不过我们正在造一个可以弥补的炸♥弹♥butwe,reworkingonabombthatcanfixthat.抱歉小姐海水淡化机真的让人乏味Sorry,miss.Desalinationisasnooze.但我真心想加盟哥斯拉炸&heart
12、s;弹♥ButIdowantinontheGodzillabomb.波瑟芬妮在追伯恩斯先生这一点上毫无保留PersephonewasnotshyabouthoundingMr.Burns,他也在放狗追人上毫无保留andhewasntshyabouthoundingher.一些鱼只会跟着潮汐游Somefishjustswimwiththetide.我是那种永不停息的鱼mthekindofrelentlessfish在跃龙门前宁愿跌落十次thatfallsdowntentimesbeforeitrunsupthemountain.穿着海滩鞋Onoceanshoes.财富大视界你的自信
13、会引领你走向成功与幸福救生艇公♥司♥资金流/流失率行给你五分钟Eh.Fine,youvegotfiveminutes.这些留着山羊胡的浪荡子都是谁Whoarethesegoateedwastrels?纪录片拍摄团队Adocumentarycrew.只有最能转变思维的CEO才拥有他们Onlythemostparadigm-shiftingstart-upCEOshavethem.伯恩斯先生你的生活是场美妙的商业歌♥剧Mr.Burns,Iseeyourlifeasabeautifulbusinessopera投资在救生艇公♥司♥
14、就是高&hearts闸♥的咏叹调andinvestinginLifeboatastheclimacticaria会把你直接捧上众神之巅正如盖蒂家族thatwillputyouinthesamepantheonasGetty,范德比尔特家族内衣女王Vanderbilt,theSpanxLady.海水淡化机是一项昂贵又低效率的产业Desalinationisanexpensiveandinefficientindustry跪求被重整beggingtobedisrupted.成功是一个决定Successisadecision.敢不敢选先生Daretochooseit,sir.敢不敢-当
15、然Dareto.-Ofcourse.就像我是如何选择含着金汤匙出生的1.ikehowIchosetobebornrich.联手一起我们可以重整大♥片♥盐水Togetherwecandisruptbigsaltwater.你是说海洋吗Youmean.theocean?一点没错或者我应该说Exactly,orshouldIsay.妙极了Excellent.我不仅会抵押个人的若干财产NotonlyamIpledgingmuchofmypersonalwealth给救生艇公♥司♥我还会给予该公♥司♥冷却塔AtoLife
16、boatbutmgivingthecompanycoolingtowerA用作其总部touseasitsheadquarters.冷却塔A是伯恩斯先生最爱的塔CoolingtowerAwasMr.Burnsfavoritetower.他总说那里贮藏了很多珍贵的记忆Healwayssaiditheldsomanypreciousmemories.另外所有7-G分区的工人Inaddition,allworkersinsector7-G将马上被解雇areimmediatelyfired.渔那是我去您的吧臭猪Hey,thatsme!Screwyou,pig!并将重新被雇佣到更高技术的工薪阶层.anda
17、rerehiredathighertechindustrysalaries.祝福你臭猪猪Blessyou,pig!伯恩斯带着他最有钱的朋友们Burnsbroughthiswealthiestfriends进入波瑟芬妮的圈子intoPersephonesfold.我投资的时候看的是商业最关键的根本WhenIinvest,Ilookatthebusinessskeyfundamental:我是不是妄想能跟首席执行官一拍即合AmIunderthedelusionthatIhaveashotwiththeCEO?那种永不停息的鱼在跃龙门前宁愿跌落十次穿着海滩鞋伯恩斯和波瑟芬妮很快就BurnsandPe
18、rsephoneweresoon肩并肩一起运营着新公♥司♥runningthenewcompanysidebyside,坐拥着一种创业文化overseeingastart-upculture其中每个人都有一个新颖的头衔whereeveryonehadacreativetitle.波瑟芬妮奥达伊尔创始人和现状破坏者PersephoneOdainfounderandstatusquodemolitionist蒙哥马利伯恩斯首席变革炼金术土MontgomeryBurns,chiefchangealchemist.韦隆史密瑟斯速必达巫师WaylonSmithers,purp
19、osefulnesswarlock.卡尔卡尔森大脑转储魔术师CarlCarlson,braindumpmagician.莱尼莱昂纳德讲故事的忍♥者1.ennyLeonard,storytellingninja.侯默辛普森失利摇滚明星HomerSimpson,Compet-ticyRockstar.你是想说实力吗Competency?你说啥Sayitagain.如果有人能改变伯恩斯IfanyonecantransformBurns,宙斯之女被冥王劫持娶作冥后那真是创造了像珀耳塞福涅一样的神话itsavisionarylikePersephone.就像如果你在救生艇公♥
20、司♥工作1.ike,ifyouworkatLifeboat,youhavetouse你得用这种金属吸管thesemetaldrinkingstraws.卷次用完清洗真是太方便了It,ssoeasytocleanaftereveryuse.等一下mjust.为什么会打弯啊Whydoesithavetobend?*这是我的战斗之歌♥*Thisismyfightsong+* 掌控我的生活之歌♥* Takebackmylifesong* 证明我IE确之歌♥* Provemallrightsong*让我火力全开之歌♥*Mypowers
21、turnedon*救生艇公♥司♥会员们MyfellowLifeboaters!很高兴跟大家一起踏上这段旅程msoexcitedtohaveyouonthisjourneywithme.想象一个有无尽饮用水供用的世界Imagineaworldwithanendlesssupplyofdrinkablewater.一个酒店毛巾被用一次Aworldwhereeveryhoteltowelcanbeusedonce就可以丢在地上的世界andthendroppedonthefloor.伯恩斯已经改变很多了Oh,therearealotofchanges.跟以前核电站不同Unl
22、ikewhenthiswasanuclearplant,现在警戒特别严securityssupertightnow,我们必须签署严格的保密协议andwehavetosignstringentNDAs.而我并不擅长保守秘密AndIambadatkeepingsecrets.就像我不该说出莱尼对他的1.ikehowmnotsupposedtotalkaboutLennyscrush意大利家教老师有意思-侯默onhisItaliantutor.-Homer.我杀你Tiammazzo.你这个蠢货Cretino.救生艇公♥司♥数据很好看1.ifeboatwassoaring,
23、但没人能预料到这家公♥司♥butnoonecouldvepredictedwhatshockingturn将会发生怎样的惊人事件wasinstoreforthecompany.现在是在拍那种Um,isthisoneofthosedocumentaries我不该看镜头的纪录片吗wheremnotsupposedtolookatthecamera?还是就像办公室那样得一直看着镜头OrisitlikeTheOffice,whereIalwayslookatit然后做个大动作观众就知道anddoabigtakesotheaudienceknows该笑了whentolaugh
24、?无论富裕还是富有无论富足还是富饶Inrichnessandwealth,forricherandricher,我现在宣布你们结为夫妻Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife.满船清梦压星河救生艇公♥司♥的故事第一早波瑟芬和老蒙我还在掐自己mstillpinchingmyself.我竟然嫁给了蒙哥马利伯恩斯mmarriedtoMontgomeryBurns.核电业界传奇Nuclearindustrylegend.一个只对男性开放的权贵俱乐部在波西米亚精英帮会上大受欢迎Chiefs,moretoasterattheBohemianGrove.第一个
25、没有血型的男人Thefirstmanwithnobloodtype.想象每天早上醒来Whatajoytowakeupinthemorning,在枕头上转过头去turnmyheadonthepillow透过我的高压氧舱玻璃andseeherbedroomdoorthroughtheglass看着她的卧室门ofmyhyperbaricchamber.很快波瑟芬妮和伯恩斯成了核电界新潮情侣Soon,PersephoneandBurnswerethenewitpowercouple.福布斯一位100岁以下一位100岁以上纽约邮报摇篮嫁给r坟墓任天堂力量超级夫妇媒体永远拍不够这对情侣的Andthepre
26、sscouldntgetenoughofthismay.极限浪漫last-minute-of-Decemberromance.看着这样一位意气风发的年轻女性Itssorefreshingtoseeayoungperson把蒙哥马利伯恩斯视作荣耀withtheworldatherfeet真让人♥大♥开眼界whoalsoseestheglorythatisMontgomeryBurns.波瑟芬妮该开♥发♥她NowitwasuptoPersephone神奇的海水淡化机的tocreateaworkingprototypeof样品了heramazi
27、ngdesalinationtechnology.你们面前放着Thewaterinfrontofyoucomesfrom救生艇公♥司♥海水淡化机thefunctionalprototypeof产出的试饮用水theLifeboatdesalinationmachine.大家请举杯Soeveryonepleaseraiseaglass亲自体验这一历史性的时刻tomilestonethishistory-definingmoment.哦不现在还喝不了Oh,no,youcan,tdrinkitnow.No.潜在竞争对手可能会从你们的尿液中Ourcompetitorscoul
28、dstealtheproprietaryaquatech窃取我们的净化技术inyoururine.为防止我们专利的蒸发雾技术Andjustincaseanyofourpatentedevaporatedmist进入你们的膀胱madeitintoyourbladders,我们为大家安排了导尿手术wevearrangedtohaveyouallCatheterized.救生艇公♥司♥只是在遵循科技彳J一业的一贯操作SoLifeboatwasjustfollowingthetechindustryplaybook:卡拉斯威舍硅谷记者先画饼再化缘Fakeittillyoum
29、akeit.我称之为“打幌子混上市”OrasIcallit,Lie-pountilyouipo.但员工们已经开始梦想赚大钱了Buttheemployeeswerealreadydreamingofcashingout.技术工种的薪水不要太高哦Techsalariesarethegreatest.这周我给了马姬200份股票期权Thisweek,IgaveMarge200stockoptions用来买♥♥菜togogroceryshopping.根本花不了Itdidntworkatall.我还得把购物车里的东西都摆回去Ihadtoputallthefoodbackont
30、heshelves.与此同时新晋的科技工作者们Meanwhile,thenewlymintedtechworkers正在适应一种截然不同的企业文化wereadaptingtoamuchdifferentcorporateculture.新公♥司♥的同事们都神秘兮兮的Atthenewcompany,peopleweresosecretive他们居然把锁屏密♥码♥的便利贴theyactuallymovedthepost-itnoteswiththeirpasswords全部从显示器上撕掉了offtheirmonitor.每天都有人被裁员Wor
31、kersweregettingfiredeveryday.纹身属于公♥司♥的知识产权Thattattooistheintellectualpropertyofthecompany.出口整个公♥司♥闹得人心惶惶Thewholecompanygotsoparanoid.因为侯默签了一堆保密协议BecauseofthoseNDAshesigned,他回家了都不能分享今天过得如何Homercouldnteventellmehowhisdaywas.我无法承认或否认我过了一天IcanneitherconfirmnordenyIhadaday.奇怪的
32、是他们不允许我Well,itwasstrangetheywouldntletme看一眼杯子的内部构造但我的职位lookinsidethemachines,sincemytitlewas是机器内部技术主管chiefengineerofinsidethemachine.每当有记者来采访Andwheneverareportercameby,他们就像试图要掩盖什么似的itseemedliketheyweretryingtocoversomethingup.专利机密好吧怎么也比为扎克伯格打工好Well,stillbetterthanworkingforZuckerberg!他们在隐瞒着什么这让我很害怕T
33、heywerehidingsomething,anditwasreallyfreakingmeout.所以我给波瑟芬妮发了邮件SoIemailedPersephone.结果第二天卡尔就被裁了Andthenextday,Carlwasgone.卡尔卡尔森无名氏卡尔的米粉不许碰尽管救生艇公♥司♥有很大的问题DespitetheredflagsflyingfromthisLifeboat,用杯子大小的机器改变世界波瑟芬妮对抗全世界海水水牛城新闻报“可饮用”任务波瑟芬妮奥达伊尔离不开这几样东西财富杂♥志♥这位首席执行官积攒了数百万高层办公室“顿悟
34、”时刻Water2.0海滩鞋独角兽骑行他们还是招募了不少信徒therecontinuedtobebelievers.波瑟芬妮是我的偶像Persephonedominatesmyvisionboard.她是嫁给了伯恩斯先生没错Sure,shemarriedMr.Burns,但她是首席执行官掌握着实权butasCEO,awomanhadallthepower.当代猎狗所以网上的喷子才会急ThatswhatmadetheInternettrollssomad.所有这些负面的帖子Alltheonlinenegativitystirredup波瑟芬妮是大骗子首席执行官她不行是董事会不是女人茶话会看波瑟芬
35、妮作死激起了一位巨魔指尖上的愤怒thefinger-temptedangerofadifferentkindoftroll.救生艇的股价belike*这是我的战斗之歌♥*Thisismyfightsong*波瑟芬妮盛会生日快乐波瑟芬妮*掌控我的生活之歌♥*Takebackmylifesong.*我想给我的妻子哇妻子Iwantedtogivemywife.wow,wife,还没习惯这么叫stillgettingusedtosayingthat.一份特别的生日小礼物alittlesomethingspecialforherbirthday.推特礼品卡ATwittergi
36、ftcard?不我给你买♥♥下了推特No.IboughtyouTwitter.整个公♥司♥相当便宜Thewholecompany.Itwasabargain.马斯克的星舰被国际空间站撞毁之后Thepreviousownerhadtosellitafterhisself-drivingMarsrocket就把公♥司♥卖♥♥掉了crashedintotheinternationalspacestation.伯恩斯先生你删广所有波瑟芬妮的负面推特Mr.Burns,youdeletedall
37、negativetweetsaboutPersephone.这是你信奉主一般狂热崇拜她Isthatevidencethatyoureinakindofcult不愿听任何批判她的言论的证据吗andwon,thearanycriticismofyourleader?是我确实信奉她婚姻的力量Yes,Iaminacult.It,scalledamarriage.我老婆是我的主我的任务就是支持她Mywifeistheheadofit,andmyjobistosupporther.也许事实上你是你婚姻中的主安德鲁Now,maybeyourethecultleaderinyourmarriage,Andre
38、w,可我和皮拉尔熟她肯定不会认同butIknowPilar,andIsuspectsheddisagree.但目前救生艇公♥司♥声誉在经受考验ButLifeboatwasrockedbyafreshscandal,救生艇一个匿名消息提供者供出whenananonymouswhistleblowerbravelycameforward美国有线新闻调查一则惊人内♥幕♥withdamningnewinformation.我兄弟卡尔被救生艇绑♥架♥了MybestfriendCarlwasabductedbecauseh
39、ewasabouttogopublic因为他要向公众告发会毁掉公♥司♥的秘密withastorythatwoulddestroythiscompany.人♥民♥值得了解真♥相♥Peopleneedtoknowthetruth.救生艇公♥司♥的机器根本没作用TheLifeboatmachinedoesntwork.救生艇一时间人尽皆知Thewhistlewasblownandthedamagewasdone.斯普林菲尔德报道漏水导致救生艇沉没论&hearts坛♥报直到告发
40、尽头纽约发布救生艇运送床铺泰♥晤♥土♥报♥我们需要更好的船只美国新闻哀哉你的船女士女士有消息称唯一见过Maam,maam,thewhistleblowerclaimstheonlyperson您公♥司♥生产的海水淡化机的人消失了whohasseentheinsideofyourdesalinationmachinehasdisappeared.您不认为这很可疑吗Isntthatsuspicious?为什么你选择相信那个男性侧影WhydoyoudoubtafemaleCEO而不相信我这个女性首席执行butbeli
41、evethesilhouetteofamansittinginthedark?重大新闻现在女人抛头露面合法Newsflash!Womenhavefacesnow.目前对于其核心科技无效的指控Atthismoment,allegationsthatitscoretechnology关乎救生艇公♥司♥的存亡doesnotworkarethreateningLifeboatsverysurvival.这会是曾被看好的新兴公♥司♥衰落的开端吗Isthisthebeginningoftheendforthisonce-promisingstart-
42、up?答案是Andtheansweris.当然不了absolutelynot.救生艇公♥司♥将拯救全人类1.ifeboatwillsavehumanity成为世界最为盈利的公♥司♥andbecometheworldsmostprofitablecompany.不信就加入救生艇漂浮分公♥司♥JoinusnexttimeforLifeboatAfloat,波瑟芬妮的最佳辩护Persephonestotalvindication.该纪录片在伯恩斯科海洋零售店有售ThisdocumentaryseriesisnowaB
43、urnscoproduction.蒙哥马利伯恩斯不满关于妻子创业的纪录片MontgomeryBurnswasnthappywiththedocumentary于是收♥购♥其制♥作♥公♥司♥abouthiswife,sstart-up,soheboughtthecompanythatmadeit,但这也只能阻挡一家之言butthatdidntstopothersfromtellingthestory,毕竟商业纪录片的生意是个大生意becausethebusinessOfbusinessdocumentariesi
44、sbigbusiness.盐以为你缺爱彼得杰克逊导演我们找出更多前所未见的披头士珍贵影像Weveunearthedevenmorenever-before-seenfootageoftheBeatles,其中包括他们花费六小时谈论饮用水includingsixhoursofthemdiscussingdrinkingwater.水没有水就沏不出茶Thethingaboutwater,youcantmaketeawithoutit.用咖啡也能泡茶呢Whatifyoumadeteaoutofcoffee?用茶也能沏咖啡呢Whatifyoumadecoffeeoutoftea?哥们还是玩玩音乐吧Uh
45、,fellas,maybeweshouldplaysomemusic.为什么叫它氧化氢WhydotheycallitH20?我看亳无道理Ibetnoreasonatall.娱乐体育电视网出品纪录片如履薄冰救生艇公♥司♥冠名风波儿周前救生艇公♥司♥不再支付Justweeksago,Lifeboatstoppedpayment名下♥体♥育场的冠名ontheirstadiumnamingrights.救生艇FTX交易所影飞丘比巴♥特&hearts你&hearts澹姆斯葡萄酒冷却器尽管救生艇公♥司♥的纪录片层出不穷DespitetheglutofLifeboatdocumentaries,最具权威版本却十分有说服性thedefinitiveversionwasmadebyastorytellersocompelling,并且引人人胜hemade12hoursonthenationalparksfeellike11.救生艇被弃船肯
