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1、辛普森一家第三十五季第十集头条新闻钓鱼冠军挂杆本地新闻钓鱼冠军亚伯辛普森即将退休Inlocalnews,championanglerAbeSimpsonisretiring.是的正式退休Yes,it,so-fish-ial.在斩获了他个人第二十次钓鱼大赛冠军后Afterreelinginhis20thFishingDerbywin,他决定“屈鳍隐退”hesfinallybowingtrout.晚点请继续关注一则“震鲸消息、”1.ater,staytunaforasharkingstory一名有8鱼情节的当地医生aboutalocalsturgeonwithacodcomplex为大&heart
2、s;比♥目鱼杀死病人whokillspatientsjustforthehalibut.亚伯为何现在选择退休Abe,whyretirenow?连续赢了二十年之后我有些厌倦了Well,Iwanttogooutonmy20-yearwinstreak打算将我这唯一的天赋传给我的儿子andpassalongmyonlyearthlytalenttomyson.新近的无聊爱好治愈旧日的无聊创伤明天将由他Tomorrowhesgonnatakeover来代表辛普森家族出战theSimpsonfamilyfishingdominance.所有在看的钓鱼佬们Toallyoufishoutthe
3、rewatching,他来找你们了he,sa-comin,forya!每次你不是因为蠢事上新闻的时候都好性感It,ssexywhenyou,reonthelocalnewsforsomethingnothorrible.这回水里的鱼该害怕了Thosefishshouldbesoscared.鱼一点也用不着害怕Oh,thosefishshouldntbescaredatall.我可从来没赢过Ineverwinanything.为啥我爸觉得我能获胜呢Whydoesmydadthinkllwinthisfishingcontest?可能你只需要坐稳了拿好鱼竿吧Maybebecauseallyouha
4、vetodoissitstillandholdastick.那是两件事Thatstwothings!春田小学语言实验室仍有黄蜂史校长打扰一下PrincipalSkinner,sorrytobargein,我正在申请butmapplyingtothemostselective全国最难进的夏令营kidssummercampinthecountry.他们甚至拒绝了硅谷的神童TheyevenrejecttheSiliconValleyAdderallkids.春田大学夏令营我在想您能不能给我写一封推荐信呢And,Um,Iwashopingyoudwritemealetterofrecommendati
5、on.推荐信Recommendationletter?还从来没人让我写过这东西Noone,severaskedmetowriteoneofthosebefore.我只写过请求法官宽大处理的信vemainlyjustdoneletterstojudgesrequestingleniency.如果我入选了春田大学夏令营的话IfmacceptedintotheUniversityofSpringfieldCamp,就拥有了进人llbefast-trackedtogetinto阿姆赫斯特中学的暑假工作坊的快速通道theAmherstMiddleSchoolSummerWorkshop,就会被加大圣克鲁
6、斯的海军生物研究优先挑选whichisafeedertotheUCSantaCruzMarineBiologyRetreat,这样就一定能参加欧柏林的哲学日间夏令营whichisasureticketintotheOberlinPhilosophyDayCamp还可以选择过夜withsleepoveroption.好吧我记得Edu95软件里Well,IbelievemyEdu95softwarebundle有推荐信的模板didcomewitharecommendationtemplate.读取中别忘了我是班级的仓鼠观测员Dontforget,Iwastheclassroomhamstermon
7、itor.还是艺术社团的议员Andtheartclubparliamentarian.还是给食堂大妈捐赠发网的AndIchairedthefundraiser募捐会主席togetthelunchladiesethicalhairnets.了解Gotit.”兴趣颇丰”Manyinterests.1打印Andprint.没事了Nevermind.春田钓鱼大赛欢迎来到一年一度的春田钓鱼大赛WelcometotheannualSpringfieldFishingDerby,荣誉冠军由达夫迷彩版赞助sponsoredbyDuffCamo.“让鹿再也发现不了喝醉的你”Thedeerwillneversee
8、youredrunk.现在由荣誉冠军Andnow,thechampionemeritus来挥出比赛开始的第一杆willthrowouttheceremonialfirstcast!爸你为啥觉得我能行呢我可从来没赢过Dad,whydoyouthinkIcandothis?Ineverwinanything.我可不相信你Oh,Idon,tbelieveinyou.我是押宝在辛普森的钓鱼基因上了mbankingontheSimpsonsfishinggene.除糟糕的手势外我终于能传承点别的给你了mfinallygonnapassdownsomethingotherthanchronichandha
9、te.比赛已经进行了三个小时Werethreehoursintothisnail-biting,紧张的竞赛啊铁子们intensecompetition,folks,也就是说这些屁♥股♥疲劳的勇士们whichmeansbuttfatigueisreallysettingin真的是坐麻了ontheserecumbentwarriors.渝我要是真想看着老爸坐着啥也不干Aw,man,ifIwantedtowatchDadsitanddonothing,我就去看他上班了dvisithimatwork.妈妈我感觉其他夏令营候选者Mom,Ibettheothercampappl
10、icants都在做志愿活动有所成就arevolunteeringandaccomplishingstuff.我就傻站在这里晒出珍珠项链印子mjuststandingaroundheregettingatanlinefrommypearls!宝子肯定能进的啦你啥都能进msureyoullgetin.Yougetintoeverything.我可以捡垃圾营救浮木Icouldpickuplitter,rescuedriftwood,确保海狸不会啃咬被冲来的人体模型手臂makesurebeaversarentchewingonwashed-upmannequinarms.马姬你能不能小声点叽叽歪歪So
11、rry,Marge,butcouldyoumurmuralittlequieter?我在试着钓鱼mtryingtofish.不好Uh-oh.我得让自己跟着转几圈Igottoletmyselfrunalittle.这他妈啥玩意儿走开走开Whatthehellisthatthing?!Getitout!Getit!老侯Homie!这条鱼重7.2磅还有没有更重的呢Thefishweighttobeatis7.2pounds.Willaheavierfisharise?广♥告♥之后马上揭晓Wellfindoutrightafterthis.当你在杀鱼的时候Whenyoure
12、guttingyourcatch,你有没有恶心厌烦那种被冰冷areyousickandtiredofbeingstaredat讨债的死鱼眼盯住的感觉bycold,accusingfisheyes?你需要快乐兜帽YouneedtheHappyHood.没错小鱼儿你会爱上它的Thatsright,fish,youllloveit!快乐兜帽别忘记去玩快乐兜帽的手游AnddontforgettoplaytheHappyHoodmobilegame.侯默辛普森的鱼称重结果是HomerSimpsonsfishcomesinat.10.4磅赢家诞生了10.4pounds.Wehaveawinner!我从来没
13、赢过任何东西我该做什么veneverwonanythingbefore.WhatdoIdo?哎哟我这漂亮的傻儿子Oh,mygorgeousboy.我真的爱死你了veneverlovedyoumore!谢了老爸Thanks,Dad.我可以煮老公拿了奖的鱼了Igettocookmyhusbandsprize-winningfish!整个屋子即将充斥一股胜利的臭味Thewholehouseisgonnastinklikevictory!什么弹珠是这么来的吗What?Isthiswheremarblescomefrom?就跟珍珠和龙虾一样吗1.ikepearlsandlobsters?我的弹弓弹珠怎么
14、会在这里Uh,howdidmyslingshotmarblesgetinthere?你用弹珠增加了我的鱼的重量Youaddedweighttomyfishwithmarbles?!人家控制不住看你失败真的是太无聊了I-Icouldnthelpit!Watchingyoulosewassoboring.所以我根本没赢SoIdidn,treallywinatall.你作弊了Youcheated!哎哟我这漂亮的傻儿子Oh,mygorgeousboy,我真的爱死你了veneverlovedyoumore!春田小学消防演习取消了因为真的着火了”奥勒冈小径冒险故事”TheSagaoftheOregonTr
15、ail,苗浩斯范浩腾作诗apoembyMilhouseVanHouten.”我们扬帆启程前往太平洋WestartedourjourneytothePacific因为我们听说它非同寻常”becauseweheardthatitwasterrific.1我来带巴仔辛普森去看医生mheretotakeBartSimpsontohisdoctorsappointment我要去看医生Ihaveadoctorsappointment?没错好多医生你病得快走了Oh,yeah.Bunchofthem.Yourereallysick.”我们扎了第一次野营一切都准备妥善Wemadeourfirstcampwhen
16、wewereallready.我们做了第一顿晚饭肉丸和意大利面”Wemadeourfirstdinner,meatballsandspaghetti.这不是去看医生的路Uh,thisisn,tthewaytothedoctor.没有医生Theresnodoctor.所以我还没那么病Somnotsick?不知道大家多多少少都有病Idontknow.Everybodysgotsomething.我们爷俩要去作弊Youandmearegoingcheating.当你放在鱼里的弹珠帮我赢r比赛Whenyourfishmarbleswonmethatcontest,那是我作为父亲以来最激动的时刻itwa
17、sthegreatestthrillIeverhadasafather.我就是想再感受一下那种刺♥激♥AndIwanttofeelthatrushagain.春田镇打水漂冠军赛打水漂怎么作弊Uh,howdowecheatatrockskipping?不知道提前谋划作弊感觉太不诚实rIdontknow.Makingaplantocheatinadvancefeltdishonest.兀美Perfect.夏令营招生的大信封Ooh,abigenvelopefromsummercampadmissions!我猜会是好消息Ibetthatsgoodnews!拜托妈妈这是我的保
18、底项我当然会被录取Mom,thatsmysafety.Ofcoursemgonnagetinthere.佛罗里达州立大学纯粹是个派对夏令营FloridaStatesatotalpartycamp.我怎么还没收到其他消息WhyhaventIheardyet?简妮申请的夏令营都回复了甚至那些难的Janeygotresponsesfromallhercamps,evenherreaches.她论文写了她祖母的移♥民♥经历Heressaywasabouthergrandmothersimmigrantstory.她祖母是渥太华人ShecamefromOttawa.这也算移&
19、hearts;民♥Thatsbarelyanimmigrant.稍后将举♥行♥利雅得利夫匹克球巡回赛Cominguplater,theLIVPickleballTourfromRiyadh,沙漠高约43摄氏度比赛局势如火如荼whereits110degreesinthedesertandtheactionsheatingup.现在进行的是打水漂比赛Butnowit,stimeforcompetitiverockskipping!春田打水漂比赛他们确实在寻找新的体育项目上Theyarereallyscrapingthebottomofthebarrel费
20、尽心思了fornewsportscontent.是啊接下来就是刮桶底比赛Yeah,andbarrelscrapingisupnext.西雅图木桶剃刀春田打水漂比赛戈迪牌投石手套一万名暴徒的选择走来的是去年的冠军Herewehavelastyearschampion,克里塔斯斯帕科勒他正靠近河边CletusSpuckler,takingtheshore.电视机前的观众会注意到Homeviewerswillnotice他脚上的对号♥不是穿了耐克鞋thatsnotthefamousNikeswooshonhisshoes而是光脚吸着水蛭but,rather,leechesonhisba
21、refeet.要投了Herecomestheskip.排名第一22次克里塔斯斯帕科勒第二16次肖娜丘墨士第三14次吉尔冈德森跳了22次22skips!堪比已故的伟大的大♥麻♥安德森Thatsathrowworthyofthelate,greatDoinkAnderson!有趣的事实是他没给遗孀留下任何遗产Interestingfact.helefthiswidownothing.接下来上场的是侯默辛普森Nextup,HomerSimpson,新手但用的是专业人士的装备afirst-timerbutusingthesameequipmentasthesepros,地上
22、捡的扁平石头aflatrockhefoundontheground.排名第一46次侯默辛普森46次46skips.几乎让我觉得搭车来这里是值得的Thisalmostmakesmyhitchhikinghereworthit.春田镇银行一百美元享受作弊的快乐吧This,thisiswhatwedoitfor.Thecheatershigh.你能感受到在血液中欺骗的脉动Youcanfeelthescampulsinginyourblood,就好像吸食乐透刮刮乐的灰尘likesnortinglottoscratcherdust或者像被选为“汉堡星球之王”一样orbeingelectedkingofH
23、amburgerPlanet!爸爸以前我作弊的时候Youknow,Dad,allthetimesIcheatedonStuffbefore.学校考试新冠病毒测试schooltests,COVIDtests.我都会觉得有点内疚Ialwaysfeltkindofbadaboutit,但跟你作弊感觉是对的butcheatingwithyoufeelssoright.我们能再搞一次不Canwedoitonemoretime?儿子我们不会停下的Son,werenevergonnastopdoingit.玉米洞比赛cornhub赞助*该作弊了宝贝*Comeon,letsgetourcheaton,baby
24、*遵守规则多累啊*Noneedtofollowrules,we,relazy+冠军侯默辛普森戈迪牌玉米洞手套时尚与体育相遇*用雪碧装满水杯*OrderwaterbutfillyourcupwithSprite*说自己是军人优先登机* SayyoureintheArmytopreboardyourflight*飞盘高尔夫比赛* 伪造公♥司♥推特卖♥♥空股票* Fakeacorporatetweettosellastockshort*带着猪上班作为安抚动物*Takeyourpigtoworkasemotionalsupport*两人的阴谋团队
25、*We,reatwo-manschemingcrew*欺骗让父子感情升温*Cheatingsourfather-songlue*老实说我们从没合得来过*Honestly,withhonesty,wenevergotalong*扑克比赛*成长路上我没教你好*Iraisedyourightbyteachingyouwrong*开医院证明拖延大学考试*GetadoctorsnoteformoretimeontheSAT*臀部震动器直肠信使*用ChatGPT写你的学期论文*WriteyourtermpaperwithChatGPT*男土选女士选*输掉选举就说它不公平*Loseanelectionand
26、callitunfair*扇巴掌比赛*靠租来的轮椅不排过山车的队*Cuttherollercoasterlinewitharentedwheelchair*最后一扇*把你当做我的作弊灵魂兄弟* Ireckonyouremycheatingsoulbrother* 一切都作弊* Cheatonanything* 唯独不骗你* Butnevereachother*唯独不骗你* Butnevereachother*巴仔我终于明白为何有些人故意要当爸爸Bart,Ifinallygetwhysomedudesbecomedadsonpurpose.这是我这辈子过的最棒的一周Thishasbeentheb
27、estweekofmylife.我也是Me,too!而且我的人生不像你的那样无聊Andmylifesnotabarf-nadolikeyours.你不觉得有点奇怪吗Doyouthinkitsalittlestrange你♥爸♥爸怎么突然赢广这公多比赛thatyourdadissuddenlywinningallthesecontests获得这么多大奖andgiantprizes?我也注意到了Yeah,venoticedthesamething.我猜我就是假设美国的体育运动IguessIjustassumedthatsportsinAmerica越来越简单了吧-亲爱的
28、weregettingmuch,mucheasier.-Hey,honey.你想要这套女士吉利服吗Doyouwantthisladies,ghilliesuitIwon是我在吐烟圈比赛上赢来的atthetobacco-spittingcompetition?侯默我们得谈谈Homer,weneedtotalk.我喜欢跟你说话Oh,Ilikewhenwetalk.但不喜欢“得谈谈的时刻IdontlikewhenWeneedtotalk.你最近可真是赢了不少Youresurewinningalotofactivities以前从未试过的比赛youvenevereventriedbefore.抱歉我问这
29、种问题但是msorrytoaskthis,but.你在作弊吗areyoucheating?扑克比赛重量级选手我不能跟你说谎Oh,Icantlietoyou.等等那是个谎话Wait,thatsalie.我可以说谎也确实说过但这次我不会IcanlieandIhave,butmnotgoingtonow.我有作弊但不是为了奖品和荣誉Iamcheating,butnotforprizesorglory.我跟巴仔以团队身份在作弊MeandBartarecheatingtogetherasateam.这是父子感情维系的一种方式Itsourfather-sonthing.你不能跟巴仔做点别的吗Cantyou
30、dosomethingelsewithBart,比如给他的足球队当教练likecoachhissoccerteam?足球你是说贿赂裁判吗Soccer?Youmeanbribingrefs?这有什么难度呢Wheresthechallenge?这种程度的作弊Thatsnotthekindofcheating不能让父子关系更亲密thatbringsadadandhissoncloser.我们有特别的羁绊就像失和之前的Wehavethisspecialbond,likeLaVarandLonzoBall拉瓦尔与朗佐鲍尔和塞索与普林斯菲尔德orCecilandPrinceFielderbeforethe
31、ybecameestranged.都是运动员父子不不不No,no,no,no,no,no.作弊是不对的Cheatingiswrong.你得跟儿子找到其他提升感情的方式Maybeyoushouldfindanotherwaytobondwithyourson,比如做个好父亲likejustbeingagooddad.那样有什么奖品呢Oh,wherestheJetSkiinthat?马姬你总是说Marge,yourealwayssaying想让孩子们成功youwantourkidstosucceed.那说不定不作弊就是骗他们Thenmaybenotcheatingischeatingthem.刷新
32、Refresh.没有Nothing.刷新Refresh.还是没有Stillnothing.刷新Refresh.旋转的彩虹特效Spinnyrainbow!没有Nothing.丽莎辛普森1.isaSimpson,我是春田大学夏令营的mherefromtheUniversityofSpringfieldCamp.很激动地通知你Andmveryexcitedtotellyou你已经被录取到我们的夏日项目中thatyou,vebeenacceptedintooursummerprogram.我进了Igotin?太好了Thatsamazing!Oh!谢谢I射I射谢谢Thankyou,thankyou,th
33、ankyou!亲自来告诉每个人录取结果好有仪式感Itssoclassythatyoucametotelleverybodyinperson.作为赛艇教练我喜欢当面欢迎Astherowingcoach,Iliketopersonallywelcome我们未来赛艇队的小队员们alltheincomingmembersofourcamprowingteam.什么赛艇What?Rowing?你申请上配的图很让人眼前一亮Yourapplicationphotoswereamazing.你在轻型赛艇船尾船头宝力豪Youcanrowanywhereintheshell.宝力豪奥体运动店津城最具性价比的健身房
34、♥都划如鱼得水的stroke,bow,powerhouse.什么Uh,what?夏令营见Seeyouatcamp.你的亨利汗衫HeresyourHenley!春田大学夏令营赛艇队有人把P过的照片放进我申请里Someoneputdoctoredphotosintomyapplication!我知道是谁干的AndIknowwho.春田镇扔斧子游戏你为了我Youcheated.作弊Forme!什么我没有What?!No,Ididnt!宝贝怎么了Honey,whatsthematter?爸爸和巴仔把我P成奥林匹克赛艇手DadandBartputmyheadonanOlympicrower
35、,sbody作弊让我进夏令营tocheatmywayintocamp!我们才没我们干嘛要帮个No,wedidnt.Whywouldwehelpsomeone凭实力就能进的人作弊啊whosalreadygoodatthings?不说了爸爸进决赛rNowshutup.Dadsinthefinals.他赢了就能把这个改装卡车带回家Hecouldwinanelectrictrucktheyconvertedbacktogas.你已经在这世界上所有愚蠢比赛里作弊了Youvealreadycheatedateverydumbsportintheworld!我赌现在这个你也在作弊Ibetyourecheat
36、ingatthisdumbsportrightnow!我的脚0w,myfoot.丽莎嘘1.iSa,shh.好多参赛者车里有猎枪Alotoftheseaxethrowershavegunsintheircars.你在怕什么WhatareyouafraidOC怕他们发现thattheyllsee.超级大磁铁吸大斧利器这个吗this?磁铁Amagnet.你现在作弊Ifyouwascheatingatthis,我赌你其他莫名其妙赢的比赛里Ibetyoucheatedatallthemotherevents也是作弊yousurprisinglyandillogicallywon.我们的奖赏和尊严Wewe
37、rerobbed!都被你强抢了Ofourprizesandourdignity!找他算账Getem!别过来我是扔斧冠军Stayback!machampionaxethrower!我的残肢0w,mystump.别让骗子们跑了Dontletthemcheatersgetaway!家人们你们误会我们了1.ook,guys,yougotusallwrong.我们不是骗子Wedidntcheat!快上刚赢的全地形车Quick,getontheATVswewonbycheating.看看谁刚刚被骗了呀1.ookslikeyoujustgotcheated!复仇者们Outofyourrevenge!来吐豆腐
38、受众群体未知你以为溜之大吉我就不生气了大错特错IfyouthinkImnotmadanymore,yourewrong.逃跑的一路我更生气了Whilewewereescaping,Igotevenmoremad!这叫多任务处理Itscalledmultitasking.这是我申请上其中一个没作弊的个人技巧Anditwasoneofthelegitimateskillsonmyapplication.记得吗你作弊的那份申请Remember?Theoneyoucheatedon?我发誓我没有WedidntIswear.以作弊者的荣誉担♥保♥-真的吗Cheatershon
39、or.-Oh,really?如果不是你俩那谁还会上传Well,ifyoudidn,t,thenwhouploaded我这些赛艇的假照片让我能进夏令营allthosefakephotosofmerowingsoIcouldgetintocamp?是我-是你Idid.-You?你不不You?!No,no.肯定是我Itmustvebeenme!不是我做的No,itwasme.但是马姬你一直是你But,Marge,youreyou.也就是甜美纯粹永不被腐蚀Youresweet,pure,incorruptible.爸爸Dad,是我们毁了妈妈weruinedMom.不不No!No!我做了什么Whatha
40、veIdone?除了我知道自己做过的种种行为OtherthaneverythingIknowthatIdid?对我作弊了Yes,Icheated.是你教我怎么作弊的Andyoushowedmehowtodoit.可我不是为了赢一个牛肉干脱水机Butnottowinabeefjerkydehydrator也不是哈雷戴维森洗须水orHarley-Davidsonbeardshampoo.”如果想让你的孩子成功Ifyouwantyourkidstosucceed,那么不作弊就是在欺骗他们“thennotcheatingischeatingthem.”妈妈可你也让我无法Mom,youalsocheat
41、edmeoutofthechance凭自己的优点成功入选togetinonmyownmerits!我那么努力Iworkedhard.我打扫海滩Icleanedupthebeach.教年长者如何发邮件Itaughtoldpeoplehowtoemail!用的可是72号♥字Iwasworkingwith72-pointfont!这都是我们的错Oh,thisisallourfault.儿子我们铸卜一了大错Son,wemadeaterriblemistake.但我们可以汲取教训并做得更好Butwecanlearnanddobetter.我们以后再也不要搞什么情感联结了1.etsnever
42、,everbondagain.你说得对再也不搞Youreright.Neveragain.向我保证这是我们最后一次拥抱Promisemethisisthelasttimewehug.我发誓爸爸我发誓Iswear,Dad.Iswear.原来你们在这里Thereyouis.要不是那几声惭愧的呕吐声Weneverwouldvefoundyou我们还找不到你们ifitwerentforallthatguiltvomiting我们听够了wedoneheard.来吧杀了我Goahead.Killme.直接劈我的头Cleavemyskull.在腐蚀了我唯一认识的好人之后1dontdeservetolivea
43、ftercorrupting我不配再活下去theonlygoodpersonveeverknown.这我可说不好Idontknowaboutthat.我们只想教训教训你Wewasjustgonnaroughyouupalittlebit.那个我是说我Oh.Well,Imean,I.我觉得我们可以杀你Iguesswecouldkillyou,但你估计需要先签个免责书之类的东西butyouprobablyneedtosignawaiverorsomething.谁也不许杀人Nobodyiskillinganyone.辛普森一家得跟我们走TheSimpsonsarecomingwithus.这之后我
44、们是继续为友还是各奔东西Youthinkwe,11allstayfriendsafterthisorjustdriftapart?好吧看来是各奔东西Well,mm,driftapartitis.春田大学这是我想去的学校Aw,thisisthecampIwantedtogoto.他们一定知道了申请作假的事Theymustknowaboutthefakeapplication.欢迎辛普森一家Welcome,Simpsons!希望你们不介意IhopeyoudontmindthatIhad批准校长入学申请我让春田大学橄榄球队队员theUniversityofSpringfieldfootballteam把你们带过来bringyouhere.我想就申请作假的事Um,Iwanttoapologize做出道歉forbeingpartytoafalseapplication.我的妈妈和我需要就诚实展开“谈话”MymotherandIneedtohaveThetalkabouthonesty.丽莎不要生你妈妈的气1.iSa,don,tbemadatyourmother.你也许会感到惊讶这所学校Itmaysurpriseyoutolearnthatthisinstitutionhas拥有着大方接受作弊的优良传统apro
