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1、我变美的那夏天前情提要PreviouslyonTheSummerITurnedPretty.今天的开放参观日取消了Today,sopenhousehasbeencancelled.所以我需要你们都出去SoIneedyoualloutofthehouse.木板步道好主意Theboardwalk.Thatsagreatidea.斯凯也一起去吧Youknow,oncetheygettoseemoreofCousins,如果他们多了解一下考辛斯多和你们一起玩Youshouldcomewithus,Skye.andhangoutwithyouguys,也许就会明白我们为什么热爱这个地方了theyllse
2、ewhywelovethisplacesomuch.-米洛不介意你跟我一起去-他为什么要介意-YousureMiloscoolwithyoucomingwithme?-Whywouldnthebe?因为我们接吻过两秒钟Becausewekissedfor,like,twoseconds?别担心我就在你身边好吗Dontworry.mrightherewithyou,okay?我觉得每个人都在渐渐疏远Youknow,Ijustfeeleveryone,sslippingaway,房♥子是把我们联♥系♥在一起的最后一样东西and-andthehouseist
3、helastthingtyingustogether.所有东西都没了Everythingsgone.我变美的那夏天J,CagetheElephant:GoodbyeJJAllmylifejJIreadbetweenthelinesJJHeldontootight,youknowItriedJJButintheenditleftmeparalyzed,JJItsallright,goodbye,goodbyeJJSeemslikeyesterdayIwasachildJJJustarippleinthefoldsoftimeJ这感觉就像她从未存在过样It,slikeshewasneverhere
4、atall.JItsallright,goodbyeJJGoodbyeJ4我以为事情已经不可能变得更糟了Ididntthinkitwaspossibleforthingstogetworse.我错了Iwaswrong.这才是更糟的Thisisworse.JGoodbye,goodbyeJJGoodbyeJ这太过分了Thisisfucked.JWontcry,wontcry,wontcryJ所有东西都没了Everythingsgone.J1.ordknowshowhardwetriedJJGoodbye,goodbye,goodbyeJ你搞什么茱莉亚Whatthefuck,Julia?抱歉你们肯
5、定有点吓到了吧msorry.Thismustbesuchashock.今天下午我和你们的父亲聊过了I-Ispoketoyourfatherthisafternoon,他和我一致决定不该再拖下去了and-andheandIdecidedthatitwouldbebestnottodragthisoutanylongerthannecessary.我才不在乎你们俩决定了什么Idontgiveashitwhatthetwoofyoudecidedon.你无权动这房♥子里的任何东西那些是她的东西Youhadnorighttotouchanythinginthishouse.Thosewe
6、reherthings.你冷静点好吗-别管我-Breathe,man.Okay?-Stop.所有东西都放进仓库了Everything1Sinstorage.我保证工人们在搬运每一件东西时都格外小心1madesurethateveryonewasverycarefulwitheverysinglething.我只是在尽我所能把这房♥子卖♥♥了mjustdoingwhatIhavetodotosellthishouse.别瞎扯你本可以提前告诉我们一声的Bullshit.Youcouldhavesaidsomething.-你只是想侮辱我们的母亲.-够了别说
7、了-Youcouldhavewarnedus.Allyouwanttodoisfightourmom,constantly.-Okay,enough.难受的不止你一个Yourenottheonlyonethatshurtinghere.你也不该朝我发火Andmnottheoneyoushouldbeangrywith.你母亲本该提醒你们会发生这种事Yourmothercouldhavewarnedyouthatthiswasgonnahappen.然而她像往常一样想让我来充当坏人Shejustwantedtomakemethebadguy,asusual.真是不好意思啊我妈忙着病死害你现在这么
8、为难msosorrythatshewastoobusydyingtomakeyourlifealittleeasier.外公爱她胜过你这确实不对Youknow,itsucksthatourgrandfatherlovedhermorethanyou,但我并不意外butmnotsurprised.康拉德的措辞有点太过分了但他说得没错Conradcouldhavechosenhiswordsbetter.Buthe,snotwrong.真♥相♥是伤人的Thetruthhurts.这一切都令人心痛不已Allofithurts.木里Jere.你到底跟他们说了什么Whatdi
9、dyousaytothem,anyway?我跟他们说了那个糟糕的圣诞节ItoldthemaboutShitmas.我希望他们能理解你为什公要卖♥♥了这个房♥子Imean,Ijustwantedthemtounderstandwhyyou,resellingthehouse.你不该告诉他们的这是我们的私事Youshouldnthavedonethat.Thatwasprivate.我不会替康拉德刚才说的话辩护1.isten,mnotgoingtodefendwhatConradjustsaid,okay?他不该那样说Thatwasntright.但我也没
10、法替你的行为辩护妈B.I-Icantdefendthiseither,Mom.你自己觉得这样对吗Imean,canyou?康尼别这样-别拦我Uh.Connie,comeon.No.康Connie.想也知道爸没有阻止她Ofcourse,Daddidnothingtostopher.康尼他又能做什么呢Connie,whatcanhedo?杰里他压根不在乎我们Jere!Hedoesntcareaboutus!我们的爸爸从来都不是完美父亲OurdadwasnevergoingtowinaFatheroftheYearaward.他有缺点这毋庸置疑Hewasflawed,thatsforsure.但每当
11、重要时刻他总是会在Butwhenitcounted,hewasthereattheend.而康拉德意识不到这一点他不想意识到Conradjustcouldntseeit.Hedidntwantto.这混♥蛋♥甚至不想接我的电♥话♥Andthisassholewontevenpickupmy.calls.你早就知道吗冷静点-Didyouknowaboutthis?-Easy,Connie.我是认真的你早就知道吗m,no,mserious.mserious.Didyouknowaboutthis?我毫不知情我发誓如果我知道一定会告诉你I-Id
12、idntknowanything,okay?Iswear1wouldhavetoldyou.Wouldyouhave?你真的会吗我们已经十年没见了Really?Becausewehaventseeneachotherintenyears.在木板步道上一起玩了一天足以让你背叛你妈妈吗Wouldadayattheboardwalkhavebeenenoughtomakeyoubetrayyourmom?我知道我们并不是很熟但我绝不会做伤害你的事1.isten,Iknowwedontknoweachotherverywell,butI-Iwouldnthavesideswipedyoulikethi
13、s.康尼好了我们该怎么办Connie,comeon.Whatarewegoingtodo?我不知道Idontknow.从小到大康拉德都是我仰望的榜样Mywholelife,IvelookeduptoConrad.他比我聪明比我跑得快各方面都比我好Hesalwaysbeensmarter,faster,just.better.也许我内心的一部分需要这样一个令我仰望的榜样Maybepartofmeevenneededthat:someonetolookupto.但今年发生了太多事我已经不再有这种感觉了Butalot,shappenedthisyear.Idon,tfeelthatwayanymor
14、e.我们不能就这样离开Okay,wecantjustleave.房♥子还没卖♥♥出去我们还有希望Allright?Thehouseisntsoldyet.Westillhaveachance.希望非常渺茫跟你们说实话我妈的房&hearts产经纪预计会有Aslimone.Imean,fulldisclosure,Mom,srealtorisexpecting很多现金出价而且是加价竞购并承诺无条件履行购买♥♥合同multiplecashoffers,alloverasking,nocontingencies.斯凯真是谢谢你悲观到
15、死的预测啊Thankyou,Skye,forthatbleakasfuckassessment.今晚我们要去哪睡-车♥库♥里有一些睡袋-Also,wherearewegoingtosleeptonight?-1thinktherearesomesleepingbagsinthegarage.-我绝不睡在这栋房♥子里-你不想睡就不睡-mnotsleepingthishouse.-Okay,1.Wedonthaveto.Allright?每年的这段时期酒店都被订满了Okay,well,hotelsareusuallyallbookeduparoundthi
16、stimeofyear.我觉得我该走了IfeellikeIshould.go.如果可以我会邀请你们去我家住但我家实在太小了所以Anddtotallyinviteyouguystocomestaywithme,butitsaprettysmallplace,so.是啊或许我们也该走了Yeah,maybe.maybeweshouldgo,too.他们就快放弃了Theyrethisclosetogivingup.先别走Dontgoyet.我知道我们可以在哪儿过夜Iknowaplacewecancrashforthenight.Yousureaboutthis,bro?Brockhampton:Goo
17、dbyeJ,JWasalwaystheloserJ,JYouthoughtitwascoolJJWhatsthemove?Whatsthemove?JJ1.ovemeorleavemeJJInevercouldchooseJJ*ThankstoyouJJ*ThankstoyouJJItsoverJJmout,yeah.Jv好的到了Yeah,sure.Quitwhining.Weshouldgohome.Allright.Herewego.你还留着门卡What,youkeptthat?这就是不经常打理钱包的好处Perksofnotcleaningoutyourwallet.一万一里面有人呢这里已
18、经打惮很久了-Whatiftheressomeoneinthere?-It,sbeenclosedforhours而且这里从不安排夜间保安没人会发现我们的and-andtheresneveranynightguards.Weregood.好吧Okay.考辛斯海滩乡村俱乐部员工卡-该死-“这计划不行”-Shit.-Notagreatplan.出自复仇者联盟ItsfromAvengers.RD).小罗伯特唐尼说的Iunderstoodthatreference.“我听懂你这个引用了”Canyouguys,like,not?你们能先别闹了吗Forjusttwoseconds?好吧Right.肯定还有
19、其他入口是吧Okay,theresgottobeanotherway,right?我们可以试试泳池的门Wecantrythepoolgate.我们也可以用我妈的进门密♥码♥Uh,wecouldalsousemymomskeycode.-你确定吗-你妈妈-Wait,areyousure?-Yourmom?没关系的她是这里餐厅的经理Yeah,it,sfine.Shesthemanagerattherestauranthere,so.如果有人检查进出记录她不会因此惹上麻烦吗Imean,wouldntshegetintrouble,though,itlike,someone
20、checkedthelogs?她没有固定的上班时间所以不会有人起疑的No,no.Sheworkstherandomesthours,sothataloneshouldntraiseanyredflags.只要我们不把里面弄乱就好一点都不能Solongaswedontmakeamess,like,atall,就不会有事的shouldbegood.他们甚至不会发现我们来过Theywontevenknowwerehere.谢谢你没登上那艘观鲸船卡姆卡梅隆Thankyoufornotbeingonthatwhaleboat,CamCameron.谢谢Thankyou.Thanks.-谢卡姆-多谢-Th
21、ankyou,Cam.-Thankyou,Cam.-Thanks.有人吗Hello?现在我们要怎么办Sowhatdowedonow?我们找点吃的吧我急需不是糖的食物Ugh.CouldWescavengeforfood?Ineedsomethinginmysystemotherthansugar.我陪你去厨房♥看看Allowmetoescortyoutothekitchen.我可以和你们一起去吗我对零食很挑剔Actually,wait.CanIcomewithyou?Ihavereallyspecificsnackrequirements.泰勒你跟我走我们去找些窗帘做毯子Uh-uh
22、,Taylor.No,yourecomingwithme.Wellfashion,like,blanketsoutof,like,curtainsandsomeshit.不我要去找零食No,monsnackpatrolrightnow.我需要你震耳欲聋的声音把杀人犯吓跑Okay.So?Ineedyourloudestvoicetoscareawayallthemurderers.想得美我会帮杀人犯杀了你Yeah,mTeamMurderers.好吧只要你愿意睡在布满灰尘的聚酯床单上我没意见Okay,fine.No,Imean,aslongasyourecoolwith,like,sleeping
23、on,like,dustypolyestersheets.我太讨厌你了为什么你做这种事还需要帮手Ihateyousomuch.Whydoyouneedhelpwiththis?-你需要我帮你什么我们走吧-Whatdoyouneedmefor?我知道一个可以睡觉的地方你们要一起来吗Allright,IthinkIknowaplacewecouldsleep.Uh,youwanttocome?我更想和卡姆与斯凯一队ThinkmgonnagowithCamandSkye,actually.我待会再去找你llcatchupwithyoulater.你没事吧Areyouokay?我就不该去木板步道Ine
24、vershouldhavegonetotheboardwalk.这不能怪你康拉德Thisisnotyourfault,Conrad.你不可能提前预知茱莉亚的计划TherewasnowayyoucouldhaveknownwhatJuliawasplanning.也许吧但如果我待在家里她就没法这么做了Maybe,butsheneverwouldhavedoneitifdstayedback.他们把所有东西都清空了Theyfuckingtookeverything.你也听到斯凯的话厂房♥子-很快就会被卖♥♥出去AndyouheardSkye.Thehous
25、eisgoingtosellfast.不No.不事情还没结束我是说No,itsnotover.Imean.我们一定能想出办法的Weregonnafiguresomethingout.有时候我真恨自己为什么花了那么久才注意到SometimesIhatemyselfforhowlongittookmetonoticeit.他们二人之间那股无形的张力Thatinvisibleforcebetweenthetwoofthem.我想跟康拉德说他无权这么做IwantedtotellConradthathehadnoright,这么多年来他从未意识到柏莉的好thathedignoredBellyforall
26、theseyears.只不过这并不完全取决于康拉德ButitwasntjustuptoConrad.这也是柏莉的决定ItwasBellyschoice,too.所以我强迫自己不去纠结SoIforcedmyselftoletitgo.反正当时还有更重要的事Thereweremoreimportantthingstoworryaboutthen,anyway.你怎么来了你不是有课吗Whatareyoudoinghere?Dontyouhaveclass?对但课突然被取消了Yeah,classgotcanceled.所以我想着过来看看你和妈ThoughtdcomeseeyouandMom.她买&he
27、arts;♥到万圣节要用的大号♥士力架了吗DidMomgetthefull-sizeSnickersforHalloween?你觉得妈妈的保险公♥司♥会接受用三明治袋子装的一满袋收据吗YouthinkMomsinsuranceisgoingtoacceptasandwichbagfullofreceipts?我只能找到这些Causethat,saboutallIgot.一定没问题的msureitllbefine.就算有我们想别的办法就好Ifnot,wellfiguresomethingout.对了你的高三过得怎么样So,hows.youk
28、now,senioryear?挺好的Itsfine,Iguess.妈妈说你被选为返校节国王Momsaidyougothomecomingking.国王和王后基本上是入学那年就提前定下了Yeah.Imean,thecoronationwasbasicallypreordainedsincefreshmanyear.-也对所以.-Right.-Yeah.So.你带了女伴吗Youtakeadate?我是和布莱克一起去的IwentwithBlake.这挺好Oh,yeah.Thatscool.你有在和谁约会吗Areyouseeinganyone?你和我还没好好聊过柏莉的事YouandIneverreal
29、lytalkedaboutwhathappenedwithBelly.杰里去年夏天发生的事纯属阴差阳错Jere,whathappenedlastsummerwasfuckedup.我不知道你俩接吻了直到后来才Ididntevenknowthat-thatyoutwohadkisseduntilafter.我希望你能Iwasjusthopingthatyoucould.什么What?祝福你们Giveyoumyblessing?我真不敢相信你过来就是为了说这个Icantbelieveyoucameherelikethis.你想做什么就去做吧反正你总是这样随心所欲Youknowwhat?Justdo
30、whatyouwant.Youalwaysdoanyways.杰里我想和她在一起Jere,Iwanttobewithher.我真心觉得她也是这么想的AndI.Ireallythinkthatswhatshewants,too.但她怕伤你的心杰里Butshesafraidofhurtingyou,Jere.是这样吗对啊-Oh,isthatright?-Yeah.自从去年夏天后你就没回过她的短♥信♥她难过得要死Anditstearingherupthatyouhaventrespondedtohertextssincelastsummer.我一直挺忙的Yeah.Well
31、,vebeenbusy.杰里我不希望你恨上我俩Jere,Idontwantyoutohateus,但我无时无刻不在想她butIthinkaboutherallthetime.不能告诉她我爱上她了让我心痛得无以复加Andithurts,like,mychestphysicallyhurts,我的心脏真的会因此隐隐作痛tonotbeabletotellherthatminlovewithher.当你的哥哥跟你说了这样的话后只有一种正确的回答Whenyourbrothertellsyousomethinglikethat,there,sonlyonerightanswer.即使你完全不是发自内心Ev
32、enifitdoesntfeelrightatall.我不会成为阻拦你们在一起的恶人mnotgoingtobetheonetokeepyouguysapart.你去争取她吧Sogoforit.谢谢你Thankyou.但这一周和柏莉待在一起让我重新回忆起了那些感情BeingaroundBellythisweekhasmademerememberalloveragain.我打算“绝不原谅保持距离”的天才计划也彻底失败了Andmygeniusplantostaypissedatherandkeepheratarmslengthisafailure.所以我不断地提醒自己SoIjustkeeptelli
33、ngmyselfoverandover,陪在她身边的永远不会是我只可能是康拉德itllneverbeme.ItsalwaysgoingtobeConrad.杰里等一下Hey,Jere,waitup.嗨Hey.我以为你要和康拉德一起去厨房♥呢IthoughtyouwereheadingtothekitchenwithConrad.不他们那边人手够rOh,no,theyhaveplentyofhands.再说了我更愿意和你一起闲逛Besides,dratherroamwithyou.我只是要去影厅看看没什么特别的Imean,mjustgoingtothescreeningroom.I
34、tsnothingspecialoranything.在我听来也算是一场冒险之旅Soundslikeanadventuretome.谁知道我们会在那些门后发现什么1mean,weneverknowwhatwellfindbehindthesedoors.这里是乡村俱乐部不是纳尼亚It,sacountryclub,notNarnia.那又怎样Mm,still.“冒险本身就足够快乐”Adventureisworthwhileinitself.这里有好多好东西啊Somuchgoodstuffinhere.有土耳其浴巾和埃及棉长袍Huh.Whatisthis,likeTurkishbathtowels
35、andEgyptiancottonrobes?-太奢华了吧-好了-Thisisridiculous.-Allright.Allright,allright.你去看看失物招领处有没有多余的运动服吧Gocheckthe1.ostandFound,seeiftheresanyextrasweaters.失物招领处.等一下.天啊-Um.Wait.-Oh,myGod.穿着这件衣服我都能去当超模了IcouldlegitbeaHadidsisterinthis.我要拍张照别笑了Gottatakeaphoto.Stoplaughing.这衣服真好看怎么要拍张照片做新头像-Thisissocute.-What,
36、huh?-Newprofilepic?不我是要发给米洛No,itsforMilo.抱歉Sorry.你能躲出镜头吗-好我已经躲起来了-Canyougetoutofit?-Yes,Imoutofit.什么人丢了这种好衣服都懒得回来找啊WhodoesntbothertocomebackforthisStUfEanyway?那些给小费很大方的人Peoplewhotipreallywell.对他们来说丢了一样东西正好有理由买♥♥一件更好的1mean,forthem,losingsomethingisjustanotherexcusetogeta.bettersomething
37、.真不知道在这里工作你是怎么保持正常的Idontknowhowyourminddidntgetallwarpedworkinghere.当心这几乎算得上是一句赞美了Careful.That,salmostacompliment.几平而已Almost.你别高兴得太早1.etsnotgetaheadofourselves.看来有钱人也不会回来找忘拿的毒品Iguess,uh,richpeopledontcomebackfortheirdrugs,either.这好酷啊Oh,thisiscool.这里太完美了Oh,wow.Thisisperfect.这是不花一分钱就能享受到的Itsthemostglo
38、rioussleepingarrangementonecouldask最高规格的留宿地了forwhilespendingexactlyzerodollars.没错我们的运气总是很好Yes.Youdohaveaflairfortheepic.放映室的门没关Oh,theylefttheprojectiondooropen.不知道我还记不记得怎样操作这东西IwonderifIcanrememberhowtoworkthisthing.就快弄好了Almostgotit.完美可以用了Perfect.Therewego.好了你准备好玩皮影了吗Ooh.Allright.Youreadyforsomeshad
39、owpuppets?当然-我们开始吧好了-Uh,yeah.-1.et,sdoit.Allright.-是一只鸟经典玩法-没错而现在-Oh,thebird.Aclassic.-Yes.-It,saclassic.-Allright,butnow.变成蜗牛了这一招太厉害了-Snail.-Aw.Wait,thats.Okay,that,simpressive.-好-我看看我能不能做一个.-Okay.-1.etmeseeifIcando,likea.也许我可以做.一只狼maybelikea.wolf.好Ooh,allright.兔宝宝Bunnyrabbit.狼吃掉了这只兔宝宝嘿Boop,boop.-W
40、olf.eatsthebunnyrabbit!-Hey!皮影不是这么玩的我就是这么玩的-No,thatisnothowyouplayshadowpuppets.-That,showIplayshadowpuppets.当她望着我时我几乎可以说服自己Whenshelooksatmelikethis,Icanalmostletmyself她看我的眼神和她从前看康拉德的一模一样believesheseesmethewaysheusedtoseeConrad.桃色公♥寓♥是桃色公♥寓♥去年夏天你妈妈想让我和她一起看来着Oh,the.TheApar
41、tment.That,s.Yourmom,uh,wantedmetowatchthatwithherlastsummer.她说比利怀尔德是一位超越时代的电影人Shesaid,um,BillyWilderwaswayaheadofhistime.她确实经常这么说Shedidsaythatalot.去年我们一起看了很多电影Yeah,wewatchedalotofmovieslastyear.她超级投入Shedgoallout.她会选择一个主题然后连着看三部与之相关的电影Imean,shedpickathemeandwatch,like,threemoviesinarow.她会准备各种各样的零食Sh
42、edgetamilliondifferentsnacks.她喝我给她做的蔬菜汁时会配上一根SheddrinkthegreenjuicethatImadeherwitha,um.-多滋乐吸管-没错-ATwizzlerstraw?Yes.-Yes.-对这是我教她的-没错天啊-1taughtherthat.-Yeah.-Yeah.-0h,myGod.等一下稍等Oh,wait,holdon.Holdon.JtFrankOcean:NikesJ*分着喝吗Sharesies?分着喝-好-Sharesies.-Yeah.JHedontcareformeJJButhecaresformeJJAndthatsg
43、oodenoughJJWedonttalkmuchornothinJJButwhenwetalkin,boutsomethinJJWehavegood?怎么了-Oh-ho.What?JDiscussionJ卷次电影之夜我总会想起你Movienightswouldalwaysmakemethinkofyou.每当这时我都很想你我觉得我应该打给你可是dmissyousomuch.AnddjustthinkIshouldcallyou,but.如果你打了该多好Iwishyouhad.我一定会接的AndIwouldhaveanswered.JImethisfriendslastweekJ我一定会来Iw
44、ouldhavecome.JFeelsliketheyreuptosomethin.J那只会让情况更复杂Itwouldhavejustmadethingsharder.我给康拉德和史蒂文发个短♥信♥告诉他们我们找到睡觉的地方了Uh,IshouldtextConradandSteven,sayWefoundaspot.把找到的点心放在这推车上吧应该没人会注意到Allright,youguys,youcanthrowthosecanapesonthiscart.AndIdontthinkanybodysgonnanotice,反正每到元媛季他们总会准备过多的食物所以ca
45、usetheyalwaysprepwaytoomuchfoodfordebseasonanyway.So.听起来不错Soundsgoodtome.我今天听到一个八卦Iheardsomethingcrazytoday.你知道利亚姆迈尔吗那个来自东区的富家子弟Youknowthatguy1.iamMeyer?ThatrichkidfromtheEastSide?他买♥♥了一辆玛莎拉蒂结果两天后就把车撞坏了IheardheboughtaMaseratiandthencrashedittwodayslater.我知道答案应该是用他父母的钱Okay,soIknowtheanswerislikelydaddysmoney,”可我还是想问一个小孩怎么买♥♥得起玛莎拉蒂but,um,howdidakidaffordaMaserati?那就是另外的故事了Yeah,well,thatwasawholeotherthi
