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1、 (11) Mobile Phone: Please enter your pass. You have no message. Main menu to send a message.Janine: Okay, so clearly he hasnt called. Maybe hes away on business.Gigi: He sells real estate in Baltimore. Staying in town is his business.Janine: Right. Well, look, let me tell you. After I went out with
2、 Ben for the first time, he didnt call me for 11 days. Eleven days. And now hes the worlds best husband. That happens all the time.Gigi: Really?Janine: Really. You want coffee? I got you 2 percent.Gigi: Thanks. This is all your fault.Janine: What? Why?Gigi: You set us up.Janine: No. You asked me if
3、I know any guys, and I gave Conor your phone number. Thats not a setup. When I do a setup, I weigh the pros and cons. I do my due diligence. All I know about Conor is that he sold us this house. Seriously, stop.(12)Gigi: He said he always hangs out after work at the city Supper Club. Maybe I should
4、do a little drive by?Janine: Please dont. Hell call. If hes not calling you. Female Narrator A: Okay, I have a question, whyd they invent caller ID? Its, like, who is this service helping? I mean, for centuriesOkay, well maybe not centuries, but for, like, a lot and lot of years people have been ans
5、wering their phone not knowing who it is and as far as I can tell, no ones died from that. And its like if the police wanna know who placed a call, they could trace it. I mean, what am I, the police? This constant obsession with needing to know whos calling all the time, its like, so gross. Like, yo
6、u pick up the phone, you find out who it is, then you know. Its, likeLook, all Im sayingif a guy doesnt call me, I would like to reserve the right to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up. But if he looks down and sees my numbers, hes goona think Im kind of psycho or something which Im n
7、ot obviously.(13)Gigi: Hello? Mom, I gotta call you back.Coach: Inhale. Upward-facing dog. Look up towards the ceiling. Look up towards the ceiling. Gigi: He ordered more drinks for us when the waitress came. Janine: Ok.Gigi: He remembered exactly what I wanted. He initiated the hug. He said it was
8、nice meeting me. Janine: So wait. This was at the end of the date or the beginning of the date?Gigi: End. Why, does it matter?Janine: Yeah. “Nice meeting you” at the beginning of the date, thats normal. Nice meeting you at the end of the date, it could be a blow off.(14)Gigi: Maybe it was at the beg
9、inning.Janine: Okay. Thats fine. Hes gonna call.Gigi: Or maybe it was at the end. Or maybe it was just nice to meet me.Beth: Help. Hi. This is torture. How am I supposed to come up with something pithy and dynamic to say about cinnamon blends?Gigi: Its hard to focus on nutmeg when the guy who might
10、be the guy of my dreams refuses to call me.Beth: After my first date with Neil I called him. There are no rules anymore. And, I mean, why should you have to wait for him to get off his ass?Gigi: Its ringing. Janine: Thats pretty standard. Conor: Hey, youve d Conor. Leave a message, Ill get back to y
11、ou.Gigi: Yes! Voicemail!Janine: Notes(15)Gigi: Hey, Conor, its gigi. I just thought I hadnt heard from you and how stupid is it that a gal has to wait for a guys call anyway, right? What does that say? Whats that say? Because were all equal, right? More than equal. More women are accepted into law s
12、chool now than men. And, I mean, I dont know if you saw that Dateline, but women practically have penises now, right? Socall me. Oh, this is Gigi. Call me.Janine: Dont worry, hes totally gonna call. Gigi: What? How can there not be a dial tone? How can there not be a dial tone? No dial tone. Come he
13、re, dial tone. Gigis Mother: Gigi, are you there? Hello, Gigi?Gigi: Mom, is that you?Gigis Mother: Yes. Gigi: I cant talk now, Ill call you back.Gigis Mother: Wait, I need you to(16)Janine: Him its Janine. Leave a message.Gigi: Hi, Janine, its me. Conor never called so Im on the precipice of staging
14、 a casual run in at the City Supper Club. Pick up if you wanna stop me. All right, Im interpreting your silence as tacit compliance. Bye.Man A in the club: Whats up, girl?Kelli Ann: Hey. How are you?Man in in the club: Good.Kelli Ann: Knock, knock.Alex: Hey.Kelli Ann: Sohere we are. Same shift again
15、.Alex: I know. I made the schedule. Remember?Kelli Ann: Well, I figured it was no coincidence. I had a good time the other night.Alex: Yeah. Its amazing where 10 shots of Patron will get you(17)Kelli Ann: So I was thinking after work we could you knowAlex: Look, Kelli Ann, what happened between us t
16、he other night was fun. It was definitely fun. But were way understaffed tonight. I even have to man the bar. So thats why I scheduled you to work. Soare we good?Kelli Ann: Nope, were good.Alex: Okay. Hey, oh, Kelli Ann. Hey, babe, could you get the door? Thanks.Kelli Ann: Hi. Are you joining us for
17、 dinner, or?Gigi: Im meeting someone. A guy.Kelli Ann: Why?Gigi: Hm?Kelli Ann: Nothing. Sorry, for dinner?Gigi: Ill wait at the bar.Kelli Ann: Thats a great idea.(18)Alex: What can I get you?Gigi: Oh, no, Im meeting someone.Alex: Oh, yeah? What, you got a hot date?Gigi: I dont know if youd call it “
18、hot”. This guy Conor and I have only been out one timeAlex: Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry?Gigi: Yeah.Alex: Conors not coming in tonight. Thanks a lot. Did he forget he was supposed to meet you here?Gigi: Oh, see, when I said “meeting someone”, I guess it was kind of a broad term, a wide interpretati
19、on of the word “meeting”.Alex: Right. You know what? Ill call him.Gigi: Oh, no. I mean, just totally unnecessary.Alex: Okay.Gigi: I just was actually in the area and so I just figured Id swing by and see if he was around because I had to return his pen, had to return this pen, he left this. And I ju
20、st thought I should really return it before he, you know, freaks out.Alex: Yeah. Okay, Ill get it to him. Thanks. Wilson Ward, Adult, Child and Geriatric Dentistry.Gigi: Look, Im not going to judge what may or may not be important to someone.Alex: Yeah. Thats not even his dentist, though.Gigi: Oh, r
21、eally. Who is?Alex: My dad.(19)Gigi: Oh, Im Gigi. I went out with Conor last week, and I justI thought if I just ran into himI dont know. Im gonna go.Alex: Wait, wait, just hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink, one drink. Okay? Look, you seem like a cool girl, so Im just gonna be honest wit
22、h you. Conors never gonna call you.Gigi: Oh, really. How do you know?Alex: Because Im a guy, and its just how we do it.Gigi: He said it was nice meeting me.Alex: I dont care if he said you were his favorite female since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham. Over a week went by, okay, Gigi? And he didnt c
23、all you.Gigi: But maybe he did call and I didnt get the message. Or maybe he lost my number or hes out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.Alex: Or he didnt call because he has no interest in seeing you again.(20)Gigi: Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never called
24、. She totally wrote him off. Over a year goes byAlex: Right.Gigi: She ran into him, and it ended up thatAlex: Your friend Terris an idiot. Shes also the exception, by the way, the rare exception.Gigi: Okay. Okay. But what if Im the exception?Alex: No, youre not. Youre not at all. In fact, you are th
25、e rule. And the rule is this: if a guy doesnt call you, he doesnt wanna call you.Gigi: Really?Alex: Yeah.Gigi: Always?Alex: Yeah, always. Look, I know what blowing off a woman looks like, okay? I do it early, I do it often. So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesnt give a shit h
26、e genuinely doesnt give a shit. No exceptions.Gigi: Thank you. Given me a lot to think about.(21)Gigi: Morning, morning. Excuse me. Hi.Beth: Hi. Everythings okay?Gigi: Oh, I was up all night.Janine: Please say you were working on the nutmeg copy.Gigi: Sure. Its basically done. I have to tell you som
27、ething important.Janine: Sweetie? Whats going on with your hair?Beth: Yeah, come here before people see you have a mini muffin in your hair.Gigi: Okay. So thank you. I think I figured it out. Remember that notary public who cheated on me? Then Anastasia told me her boyfriend cheated on her at the be
28、ginning but then he changed and now theyre married and crazy in love?Beth: I thought that guy was a process server.Gigi: No, notary. Anyway, my point is, Anastasias the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories. The rule is that guys who cheat on you dont care about you muc
29、h.(22):Gigi: Okay, so Exhibit A: Chad, the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides, and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. And thenOh, there was Don who broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship
30、.Id refer to him as my husband to my dental hygienist.And anyway all of my friends used to tell me stories about how things might work out with those dipshitsbecause they knew someone who knew someone who dated a dipshit like mine and that girl ended up getting married looking happily ever after.But
31、 thats the exception. Were not the exception, were the rule.Beth: Okay, let me just see if I understand. So what youre saying is if I hear a story about a girl whos been with a guy for 13 years and he finally married her, thats the exception.Gigi: Yes.Beth: But the rules are guys like Neil who are w
32、ith girls like me for seven years and arent married, theyre never getting married.Janine: No.Gigi: No, No, No, No, No, No, No.Janine: Its not what she meant in thatGigi: No, its got nothing to do with you. I absolutely not talking about you. I wasI was talkingJanine: These are special relationship s
33、ituations.Gigi: I was talking about myself specifically. Just me specifically, you know?(23)Anna: This guy is, like, impossible not to like, you know? Hes flirting with me pretty heavily outside of the Handy Mart and, you know, everything just kind of lines up, its really magical. And then he tells
34、me that hes married, which, of course, I should be pissed about, right? But I just cant stop thinking about him.Mary: But hes married.Anna: I know, I realize that. I dont know whats wrong with me. Whats wrong with me?Mary: Okay. I know this guy, he works in my dads printing business. And he was marr
35、ied for 15 years to a nice lady. And one night he meets this woman at some church event. And he tells my dad that hes never felt anything like it before. That he had finally met the one. So he divorced his wife and hes been with this other woman for 22 years and theyre insanely happy. I mean, what i
36、f you meet the love of your life but you already married someone else? Are you supposed to let them pass you by?Anna: Youre right. Okay. Im gonna call him.Mary: Okay.Ben: Hello?Anna: Hey, Ben. This is Anna Marks.Ben: Hey, Anna. Whats up?Anna: Nothing, I was justI was just taking you up on your offer
37、. I know you said you had a couple of contacts you thought could help me. And I thought maybe talk about it over coffee or something like that.Ben: Look, I justI cant, Anna. You seemed great. I justI dont know. I should probably go. Take care, though. Bye.(24)Conor: Hey.Anna: Hey.Conor: Im psyched y
38、ou called.Anna: Cool.Conor: Kind of given up on you when you didnt call me back.Anna: I was just thinking about you.Conor: Want a glass of wine?Anna: Sure.Conor: Okay, what were the categories again?Anna: Four categories: smart, sexy, funny and cute. But you can only be two things. Like Sarah Parker
39、 would be funny and sexy. Bill Clinton would be smart and sexy.Conor: I cant believe youre hot for Clinton.Anna: Go. What am I?Conor: Wait, what was I again?Anna: Youre smart and cute.Conor: Okay, you are sexy, very sexy and cute.Anna: No, you cant. Sexy and cute are both in the looks column. Nobody
40、 wants to be all in one column.Conor: I sound like a jackass if I say youre all four, which obviously you are, especialy sexy.Anna: Youre the best. I better go.Conor: Okay, well, you know you could stay here if you want. What? Its been a while.Anna: No, I cant, I cant stay, Im totallyIm totally, tot
41、ally fried. Is that okay?Conor: Yeah.Anna: Ill see you later. Bye.(25)Neil: Hey. That looks straightto you?Beth: Why are you hanging that?Neil: Because you asked me to about three weeks ago. Im getting around to it. Why? You dont want it here?Beth: No, I love it there, but just stop.Neil: Why? Is it
42、 the painting? You know, I know, it looks kind of like a deflated boob here. Right? I know. Its gonna be depressing. Should I take it down?Beth: No, I want you to stop doing anything nice.Neil: This feels like a trick.Beth: No.Neil: No?Beth: No, I justI just need you to stop being to me unless youre
43、 marry me after. Is that funny? Do you think thats funny?Neil: No, I guess its not funny.Beth: See, you cant keep being nice to me and I cant pretending that this is something that its not. Weve been together for over seven years. You know me, you know who I am. You either wanna marry me or you dont
44、.(26)Neil: Or theres the possibility that I mean it when I day I dont believe in marriage.Beth: Bullshit. Bullshit. Come on, its bullshit for every woman that has been told by some man that he doesnt believe in marriage and then six months later hes married to some 24-year-old that he met at a gym.
45、Its justIts bullshit.Neil: Where is this coming from?Beth: From the place Ive been hiding from you for about five years.Neil: Okay.Beth: For five years, because I havent wanted to seem demanding. And I havent asked you, but II have to. I meanare you ever gonna marry me? Oh, I cant do this anymore.(2
46、7)Female Narrator B:I used to think that I had never been dumped. Yeah, then we started comparing notes. Then we realized weve been dumped by every man weve ever been with.Female Narrator C: Every one.Female Narrator B: Yeah.Female Narrator C: But they do it so skillfully.Female Narrator B：Mm-H.Female Narrator C: They just so sneakly that you think it was your idea.Female Narrator B：Yeah. Youre sitting back and youre like: oh, yrah, this is my idea. But wait a second, why a
