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1、高三复习写作讲评课Assessment&practice of Writing,2008年奥运会刚刚落幕，一家英文报刊在其网站上征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议假设你叫李华，是该报的一名读者，请给该报编辑部写一封信，谈谈你的建议和理由内容包括向公众开放，用于健身租给体育公司，创造经济效益开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客Dear editor,I am Li Hua,a reader of your paper.,评分的四大纬度,内容,语法,思想,框架-组织结构,要点全，拓展有度，有效,连接词，作文结构紧凑；流畅,准确，复杂语法结构，高级词汇，多种句型,开放能引起读者的共鸣,灵魂,常见错误:,1.
2、单词拼写或用错：,Give you some advise I just provide you my own suggests.They can attact visitors.,advice,suggestion,attract,问题:,2.时态语态问题 We may given it to the PE company.We may give it to the PE company.3.主谓一致问题 The sport stadiums is very great and is highly spoken of by the foreigners.The sport stadiums
3、are very great and are highly spoken of by the foreigners.,4.逐字翻译问题 The stadiums can open to people for do exercise use.The stadiums can be opened to people for doing exercises.,问题:,5.词性混淆问题It can creative money.It can create/bring in money.Many people can use them to strong our body.Many people can
4、 use them to strengthen our body.6.介词短语的运用问题I am writing to make some advice for how to make full use of the sports stadium.I am writing to make some advice on how to make full use of the sports stadium.,问题:,句子结构不完整Only make full use of them does it make sense.Only by making full use of them does it
5、 make sense The 29th Olympic Games which hosted in Beijing were held successfully.The 29th Olympic Games which were hosted in Beijing were held successfully.,1.审题2.列提纲/要点3.连词成句4.连句成篇5.润色修正6.定稿,写作步骤:,体裁时态 结构要求,字数内容,信息2信息3信息4,开头正文结尾,1.审题:,体裁人称时态 要求结构,字数内容,一般现在时,Para.1Para.2Para.3,抓要点,100-120数,信息1,信息5,
6、08年奥运会刚刚落幕.征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.你想写一些建议.,向公众开放，用于健身,总结，意愿,书信格式,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,第一,三人称,08年奥运会刚刚落幕.征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.你想写一些建议,2.列提纲/要点,开头信息1,08年奥运会刚刚落幕.征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.你想写一些建议.,.,Want to write some advice/Would like to give you some adviceContribute some suggestions to you.,Collect some
7、 adviceHow to use/make use of/make the best of the stadiums.After the Olympic GamesAfter Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games.,The 2008 Beijing Olympic/were over/finished/held successfully in Beijing.,向公众开放，用于健身.租给体育公司，创造经济效益.开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,2.列提纲/要点,.,Use it as/be used for/as;take it as;open it forPl
8、aces of interest/tourist attractionsAttract tourists/appeal to visitors/be attraction for visitors,Give to/Rentto/be rented toSport company/companies which organize matches/organizing matchesMake/create money;bring in money/make more profits,Open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public.Be
9、 used for/as;be made to;Do some exercise/build our bodies/strengthen our bodies,信息2信息3信息4,向公众开放，用于健身,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,正文,2.列提纲/要点,.,信息5,总结，意愿,结尾,In my opinion/as far as I am concerned./from my point of view.I would appreciateI would you will think of/takeinto consideration.,开头信息1,08年奥运会刚刚落
10、幕.征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议.你想写一些建议.,.,3.连词成句,The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games were over/finished.The 29th Olympic Games were held successfully in Beijing.Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games with a great success.,The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.Beijing achieved its dream
11、 of hosting the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,Collect some adviceHow to use/make use of/make the best of the stadiums.After the Olympic GamesAfter Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games.,You are collecting some advice on how to make use of the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games.I
12、 hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,Want to write some advice/Would like to give you some adviceContribute some suggestions to you.,I would like to give you some advice.I would like to contribute the f
13、ollowing suggestions to you,4.Use it as/be used for/as;take it as;open it forPlaces of interests/tourist attractionsAttract tourists/appeal to visitors/be attraction for visitors,3.Give to/Rentto/be rented toSport company/companies which organize matches/organizing matchesMake/creat mony;bring in mo
14、ney/make more profits,信息2信息3信息4,向公众开放，用于健身,租给体育公司，创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点，吸引游客,正文,3.连词成句,2.Open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public.Be used for/as;be made to;Do some exercise/build our body/strengthen our bodies,2.The stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can build their bodies/stren
15、gthen their bodies,3.The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches.It can bring in more money/make more profits,4.They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.,.,信息5,总结，意愿,结尾,In my opinion/as far as I am concerned./from my point of view.I would appreciateI
16、 would you will think of/takeinto consideration.In a word,3.连词成句,From my point of view,we should do what we can to make full use of the stadium.I would appreciate it if you would take my advice into deep consideration,4.连句成篇,Para.1:The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.I
17、 hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums.I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.2:The stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can build their bodies/strengthen their bodies.The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organi
18、ze matches.It can bring in more money/make more profits.They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.,Para.3:From my point of view,we should do what we can to make full use the stadium.I would appreciate it if you would take my advice into deep consideration,4.连句成篇,Para.1:The
19、29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums.I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.1:I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29t
20、h Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,4.连句成篇,Para.2:The stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies.The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches.It can bring
21、in much more profits.They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.,Para.2:First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies.Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches.It can bring in much more profits.
22、last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.,First of all Firstly,To begin with,In addition,Besides,Moreover,Whats more,Finally,Whats worse,使用恰当的连接词,first;firstly;second;secondly;last but not least,and;too;as well as;along with;together with,for example;for
23、 instance;like;such as;as to,but;however;while;though;on the contrary,because;since;thanks to;as a result/consequence(of);thus;therefore,in a word;in short;to sum up;in conclusion,whats more;besides;to make matters worse;whats worse;worse still;furthermore,4.连句成篇,I heard you are collecting some advi
24、ce on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies.Secondly,The stadiums can
25、be rented to sport company which organize matches.It can bring in much more profits.last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.From my point of view,we should do what we can to make full use the stadium.I would appreciate it very much if you would take my
26、advice into deep consideration,5.润色修正,二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力,四.尝试多样化表达方式,5.润色修正方式,一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,强调句,With短语复合结构,定语从句,名词性从句(主宾表同从句),各种状语从句,被动语态,1.Many people want to visit the stadium.2.The stadium is useful.,Many people are dying to visit the stadium.(唐珊）,The stadium is of great value.(王淑
27、敏),一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,5.润色修正,1.The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended.It left many stadiums unused,The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended,leaving many stadiums unused（孙诒）.,二.使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,5.润色修正,1.we can let stadium make sense Only when we make full use of the stadium 2.The stadiums
28、can be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits.they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.,Only when we make full use of the stadium can we let stadium make sense(张文雪).,Not only can the stadiums be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits,bu
29、t also they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.(张蕾),5.润色修正,三.巧用倒装增强句子表现力,We should take the Olympic stadiums into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully.The 29th Olympic Games were ended successfully.we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our
30、daily lives,It is the Olympic stadiums that we should take into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully.,With the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully,we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our daily lives.,5.润色修正,四.尝试多样化表达方式,强调句,With短语复合结构,You can open them f
31、or the public.The stadiums can be used to take exercise.,You can open the stadiums which can be used to take exercise for the public.(高玉华).,5.润色修正,四.尝试多样化表达方式,定语从句,各种状语从句,我们锻炼的越多，我们就越健康。,The more exercises we take,the healthier we will become.,被动语态,We should pay more attention to the stadiums.,More
32、attention should be paid to the stadiums.(潘畅),I heard you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success.Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.First of all,the stadiums can be open
33、ed to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies.Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches.It can bring in much more profits.last but not least,They can be used as tourist attraction.It can attract many visitors.From my point of view,we should do what we can
34、to make full use the stadium.I would appreciate it very much if you would take my advice into deep consideration,5.润色修正,高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求,第五档（21-25分）完全完成了试题规定的任务:准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容，要点无遗漏应用了较多的语法结构和词汇语法结构和词汇有少许错误，但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式 所致；具备较强的语言应用能力有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑完全达到了预期的写作目的。,第四档（16-20分）完成了试题规定的任务:比较准确、
35、清楚地表达了短文的内容应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求语法结构和词汇应用基本准确，少许错误主要是因为尝试较复 杂语言结构或词汇所致应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的。,With the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully,What we should do now is how to make full use of the stadiums.I heard you are dying for some advice on how to make the best of them.Here I would like to c
36、ontribute the following suggestions to you.First of all,the stadiums can be opened to the public,where they can strengthen their bodies conveniently.Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport companies which organize matches,thus bringing in much more profits.last but not least,They can be used as
37、 tourist attraction.Because many of them are so well designed with strong Chinese features that they will surely be attractions for visitors from all over the world.From my point of view,we should do what we can to make full use of the stadiums.Only when we take actions can we bring a bright future to their value.I would appreciate it very much if you would take my advice into deep consideration,润色修正,你班同学参加了一场讨论。讨论的主题是：城市内是否可以养宠物（狗和猫）。请你根据下表所提供的信息，写一篇作文并说明自己的观点和建议。,注意：词数100左右。内容要点：1污染环境 2吵闹，伤人 3安慰孤寡老人 4 和谐相处，生活情趣 5观点、建议,Homework,Thanks for listening,
